http://vendicated.tabulas.com vEndicated At this point, I can say I am a better person. I am more open, less sarcastic, pretty much more candid and less patient haha.. I have learned that life's not all about the people you meet - it's about the bonds that you forge; that it's not about the times you have fallen but the willpower to stand up and that it is not about how many heartbreaks you've had but the ability to carry on without love. Yes, that's who I am now - same old, new me. But then again, still, If I feel depressed I will sing. If I feel sad I will laugh. If I feel ill I will double my labour. If I feel fear I will plunge ahead. If I feel inferior I will wear new garments. If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice. If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come. If I feel incompetent I will think of past success. If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals. And if I am hurt I will pray. en Tue, 17 Nov 2009 05:21:54 +0000 {BLISS} Your touch is electric
I felt it the first time you held me
The way we connected
So easily

I've tried to define it
Searched for the perfect phrase
I've tried to describe it
In a million different ways

It's joy, it's ecstacy, it's truth, it's destiny
And even love is not enough to tell you how you make me feel
There's only one word for this

I've got to admit it
You took my heart by surprise
Don't know how you did it
But baby, I've never felt so alive

It's joy, it's ecstacy, it's truth, it's destiny
And even love is not enough to tell you how you make me feel
There's only one word for this
It's bliss

Hey, you know, baby, know what the future holds
As long as you're here with me

It's joy, it's ecstacy, it's truth, it's destiny
And even love is not enough to tell you how you make me feel

It's faith, it's honesty, it's life, it's everything
To say "I love you"'s not enough to tell you how you make me feel

It's in your smile, in your kiss
It's the reason that I exist
There's only one word for this
It's bliss

It's bliss

It's bliss

]]> http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/11/17/bliss/ http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/11/17/bliss/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 05:11:26 +0000 {Ballsy} It's been almost a month since I started school again. I must admit, it's been sort of a culture shock to me. Droopy eyes, battered gray matter and (almost getting there, forcefully reversing the status of) memory gap. Who would've thought I'd be back in school at 24, and in this kind of school (of all schools)? Haha..the joke's on me. Anyhow..I'm getting by. Surprisingly so, I find the ordeal quite a challenge. I just hope I'd develop the talent and finally have the guts (and the balls [growing it? yeah right. can that be done? yuck haha.. really getting funny here.]) to express myself better (and know what to talk about and what I'm talking about). Crazy huh? My (incoherent) thoughts exactly.

Will post pics from our first ever Fellowship in the College of Tralala.. Lala..


]]> http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/07/12/ballsy/ http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/07/12/ballsy/ Sun, 12 Jul 2009 13:40:44 +0000 {6 days} Talk about the nerves. Well they've relaxed a bit over the weekend when it was announced that classes won't be starting until next week. Yep, was happy then. But it would be just about 6 days until it does. I went to school today to get my Certificate of Matriculation and to have my photo taken for the ID. Man, it doesn't feel the same as it was 5 years ago (at least) when I's enroll. Oh well, I guess I'd just have to let it all go as planned. Will get used to it soon anyway, my mind (more so the nerves) willing or not. Sigh..

]]> http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/06/09/6-days/ http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/06/09/6-days/ Tue, 09 Jun 2009 07:30:34 +0000 {An ode to them} There’s only one word to express what I’m feeling at this moment – wretched. I dunno what to say. I love you but I hate you for what you are right now. You’ve become a friggin’ royal colossal jerk. I guess I have a clue (somehow) why you turned out this way but come on; you really haven’t gotten over that until now? Grow up! You’re not supposed to be the asshole that you are. You’re supposed to be stronger, matured and a good example. But what are you showing us? You really want us to turn the same almost-monster that you are? I know you want us to be better than what we are now. I know you still love us somehow and that you want the best for us. I want to see that person again. I miss him. I miss how he takes care of us, I miss how he was there for us, I miss how he loved us. For the nth time, you made me cry again. You’re supposed to make me feel the luckiest but right now I feel I’m the biggest unfortunate of all time.. Does it make you happy seeing me this way? Are you glad that we’re slowly falling apart? I hope so. Otherwise you should be doing something to fix things up. Before we all live to hate you.


You’re tough. I’m you’re biggest fan. You’re my sun. I’d die without you. You probably see me looking the opposite but I love you and I hope you know that. I’ve never seen a soul like you. You outshine the rest. If I were in you’re shoes, I would most likely be six feet under the ground right now. Please hang on. Be strong. Things will get better for us. Keep the faith and live with hope. We may not have everything we want but I know someday we’d have what we pray for – happiness and peace of mind. God indeed has a plan for us. Maybe it’s really not the time yet for those plans to come into realization but isn’t that the purpose of our existence? To live with that fervent hope that God will deliver from all these pain? I know you know that. And I know you’ll be with me just I’d be there for you each step of the way. Don’t think or even feel that you are alone. He may leave you but I won’t. This is our battle. And I won’t give up until you do. I love you with all my heart. Please know that.

]]> http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/05/05/an-ode-to-them/ http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/05/05/an-ode-to-them/ Tue, 05 May 2009 10:49:00 +0000 {Bubba} It’s been months since I saw Jan. And it really made me happy seeing him again. He’s grown taller although still lanky. He spent a few weeks in Bacolod and when Tita Jhing and Gabe dropped by Antipolo from their cruise, he insisted that he take a vacation here in Pangasinan. I was very overwhelmed when he came by my office and hugged me saying he missed me. Oh my.. I really wish to be with them again but there are plans, promises and goals that I have to do, fulfill and achieve. And I know it will take a while before I’d spend quality time with them again. But one thing’s for sure, despite distance and time; I love them all the same – Jan, Anjo and Owen.

Here’s a little something I made during our little reunion:

]]> http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/05/04/bubba/ http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/05/04/bubba/ Mon, 04 May 2009 11:29:00 +0000 {Labor Day high} It's Pista'y Dayat again! It’s the time of year when Pangasinan celebrates a festival in honor of the sea and all of the blessings we are given by Boss up there thru it. Spearhead by the Bangus Festival in Dagupan City, the Pista’y Dayat is getting better and better each year. Well I’m not writing about it for a release but I’ve mentioned it for two things – March for Jesus and another incident we didn’t plan but yes, scared the whit out of us.

March for Jesus
This is a new event for Christians from all over Lingayen. Different churched gathered and circled the town for the same aim – proclaiming Jesus as our Lord and Savior and acknowledging Him for all he’s given and have done for us. Mostly composed by youth, we had fun showing people that an aim for God’s glory is never wasted and that doing something for a good cause can always be an “in” thing. Kinda Hillsong-ish, after the parade we had praise and worship at the town auditorium. The Holy Spirit fired us all up and I was blessed. Afterwards we had a short message and then prayed for our nation in every aspect. We then prayed and blessed our pastors. It all made us feel good. Hopefully we’d get to do it again next year.

What the?
After March for Jesus, we went to the beachfront to have our feel of the Pista. After eating, we strolled a little and pictured a lot. While doing so at the Capitol grounds, a group of young ghettos talked their minds a little loudly and just for the kicks, we talked back when they were far away. We then went to a different place to take pictures again and somehow maybe they indeed to prank us or something, they saw us again and commented on what we’re doing. We did a little overboard with our exchange but just laughed it off and went our way. We intended to walk to our houses but before even going a few meters away from the Capitol, in Maramba Boulevard they were there again. This time they were riding an old pickup and were looking at us in an unfriendly way. So off we went and walked. Then they began talking again like some deranged, drugged persons, I must say. Then they looked as if they’d go down the vehicle to attack us or something. Three of my girls were already scared, run and hid on the bushes along the road but I asked Jina to walk calmly beside me. I told her there’s nothing to be afraid of as they’d do nothing harmful to us; they’re just trying to scare us off. Whenever we went the opposite way, they’d encircle the whole area so they can be beside us so what we do is to go over the other side again. That went on for about three times. When we weren’t able to see them as we raced to the other side on their third attempt, I hurried the girls to just take a ride home. And that we did. I must admit I was a bit scared of what happened. That was the first time I experienced being almost mugged by ghettos and thank God I lived to tell the tale.

An LO to share:

]]> http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/05/01/labor-day-high/ http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/05/01/labor-day-high/ Fri, 01 May 2009 11:51:00 +0000 {New baby} Finally! Now I’m able to scrap again. Thanks to two of my favorite and most loved women in my life (by me at least) – Mama and Tita Yette. Thanks a million to you both. Oh dear, I feel so energized, happy camper again.I’ll be posting Los again after a very looooong time. Post them soon!

]]> http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/04/29/new-baby/ http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/04/29/new-baby/ Wed, 29 Apr 2009 10:38:00 +0000 {Losin' my mojo} Aaargh... It's been so long. I can't wait for my lappie! I wanna scrap my heart out! For months and months I've been aching to go back to digiscrapping and I simply cannot wait anymore! I feel I've been so left out not only with stuff but with ideas as well, ideas that passed and permanently left my mind. It's frustrating that I cannot do it much as I want, as often I as used to, but it's rather more frustrating thinking that in the next months and probably years, I should get a good grip of myself and well, skip the addiction. I wanna cry.. When will be the day that I can do whatever I want without having issues at the back of my mind? Oh well.. so much for taking the slowly but surely path, huh? Geesh, pray for my sanity. Losing it here already....

]]> http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/04/19/losin-my-mojo/ http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/04/19/losin-my-mojo/ Sun, 19 Apr 2009 07:31:20 +0000 {Sopas and Antipolo} I was cooking a while ago when it suddenly showered. It made me feel nostalgic. I miss Antipolo. I remember the times when I’d cook, experimenting on this and that. I was happy then because of my eager judges and how they’d say the meal I’d served was good. I also remember when I'd scour the entire market and the annual tiangge at the Ynares Center for the best finds. I’d have the time of my life then. How time flies. I miss the people I’ve met, the quiet neighborhood, the cool months of November, December and January that extends up to March sometimes. Oh wishes. But I know I have to do with what I have and with where I am now. This is my choice, after all. And God has plans. No matter how people say it cliché-ish, I’m living up to it. And who knows, I might see myself back there again.

]]> http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/04/14/sopas-and-antipolo/ http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/04/14/sopas-and-antipolo/ Tue, 14 Apr 2009 10:32:00 +0000 {Where to?} 4 months. I'm really getting to be an occasional blogger. It wasn't like before when I have Internet connection ready when I wake up in the morning and well, when I go to bed about the same time the next day.

Anyway, my title? Yeah, I dunno where to go. I mean I know where I'm headed for and finally after 2 years, here is the opportunity but I still don't feel too comfortable about it.

Law? The heck. It was once a childhood dream but I really never thought the day would come when I'd actually be forcefully (for the lack of a better word) drawn to it. I'm not being irrational but the nerves! They get nervous (laughs) whenever I think about it. I've given myself 2 months to have the idea sink in but man, it's already April, a month more to go before I actually delve into that kind of world and still, I'm not 100 percent sure or ready even.

What to do? Who to talk to? Where to go? The only thing that keeps me look ahead is the thought of Lolo and Lola, Mommy and Daddy and my titos and titas beaming with happiness as I and Gwen go back to school and and take it up. Waaah..I'm whining, I know. I hope in the next few days I'd get a better view, grasp, or whatever, of the situation. Maybe the key is the "first things first" line of thinking.

Okay, I have to practice this new set of soothing words. Ready... "Study hard. Stop thinking of the Bar, that's gonna be 4 years from now.."

Heck, who am I kidding?

Am I soothed? Why are my knees turning a-jell-o again?!

Darn.


]]> http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/04/07/where-to/ http://vendicated.tabulas.com/2009/04/07/where-to/ Tue, 07 Apr 2009 04:22:40 +0000