http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/ turnip na kitten pa when in doubt, mumble en Mon, 4 Dec 2006 11:59:28 +0000 tough ten I'd like to type some really profound explanation why I like these songs, but it feels like I am about to explain why I sprinkle sugar on my fried eggs instead of salt. So, I wont elaborate.

In a particular order I'd rather not explain (because yes, it would feel like I am explaining why I sprinkle sugar in my fried eggs instead of salt.):

01. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2

02. Silent All These Years - Tori Amos

03. The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice

04. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood - Santa Esmeralda

05. You Get What You Give - New Radicals

06. You Don't Love Me Anymore - Weird Al Yancovic

07. How Soon Is Now? - Love Spit Love

08. Strange Fruit - Billie Holiday

09. Five Years - Sugar Hiccup

10. Dead Already - Thomas Newman

11. Song of the Dispossessed - Dead Can Dance

]]> http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/870489.html http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/870489.html Fri, 27 May 2005 17:18:08 +0000 petsa Are you for or against the proposed National ID system? It's a rather old concern already, but this forwarded email got me into thinking again. Enjoy reading  changelings.

 

Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?

Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.

Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.

Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 02049998-45-54610.

Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email
address is sheehan@home,net. Which number are you calling from sir?

Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?

Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.

Customer: The HSS, what is that?

Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.

Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.

Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.

Customer: Whaddya mean?

Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.

Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend then?

Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.

Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?

Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week. That's why I made the suggestion.

Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.

Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.

Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.

Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.

Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also.

Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?

Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.

Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a motorcycle?

Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
yesterday.

Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#

Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?

Customer: (speechless)

Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?

Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.

Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.

nifty enough?

]]> http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/797793.html http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/797793.html Tue, 5 Apr 2005 12:51:50 +0000 Tagal This is what I've been soooo busy with. My "Five Years" music video.

I want to show it to my "online" friends, but since I can't upload it for free, I'll be sharing the screen caps instead.



I'll be submitting it this Thursday for a competition. Bale, story nya parang A Very Long Engagement or Cold Mountain. Basta ganun ganun something something. Wish me luck.

]]> http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/732295.html http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/732295.html Tue, 22 Feb 2005 14:10:50 +0000 Facets This happens when i have sugar overdose and a web cam. I experience personality shifts. bwahahaha.


mark in a very (un)emotional state, ready for his music video shoot.


mark the dreamer, seeing the world in a very beautiful fashion.


mark, in his ever effective sad puppy dog eyes.


gangster mark from brazil.


sadako mark from err... japan.


actor mark caught in the act.


mark as the artist seeking for his muse.


sweet little mark on the verge of tears.


silly mark, smiling.


and (you're so) whatever mark.

So, which character suits me best?

]]> http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/674274.html http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/674274.html Sun, 16 Jan 2005 14:53:42 +0000 Hindsight knee toes I posted the last entry because I'm searching for some sense of purgation, hoping to ease my depression. But after reading the comments, I am more depressed than when I begun. Haha. Maybe I should be writing about those in the caliber of Muwikotsche and Overly Oliver instead.

Given that, I opted to write about something maliciously comical. Here are some hilarious quotes I collected from the net:

01. Printed on a shirt: "I know Kunf Fu, Karate, and 47 other dangerous words"
02. On a help wanted sign: "help wanted: sewer". And on another: "wanted: boy waitress"
03. Posted somewhere outside the fitting cubicles: "Attention: Blouses are not allowed to fit!"
04. On a katipunan jeepney: "Full string to stop." And on another: "I-full mo ang tali at i-istaff ako!"
05. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

06. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
07. "I can be immature if I want to be, because I'm mature enough to make my own decisions."
08. On a surplus shop: "We Will Keep Improve Our Quality Until Customers Satisfaction"
09. On a provincial road: "Slow Down faster"
10. On a bar promoting their Halloween party: "Participants will get discounted stabs."

11. At a urinal inside the men's room in UP Palma Hall: "Hawak mo ang kinabukasan ng bayan." (the future is in your hands)
12. In a road construction project in Cubao: "Men working a head"
13. "Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again."
14. On a funeral parlor: "Our service begins when your life ends"
15. Printed on the bottom of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: "Do not turn upside down."

16. On a bread pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
17. On a parking lot: "Bawat ang illegal terminal dito" (Illegal terminals are not allowed here.) And on a store named Magdamagang Tindahan (24-hour store). "Open 24 hours"
18. Usually heard on awards night: "Here are the awards... third price... second price ... and the winner goes to...."
19. Scrawled on the cemented wall: "Bawal umihi, kundi putol tit*" (those who will urinate here will get decapitated.)
20. And to complete the list, the famous pick-up line: "I'm Juan. What's yours?"

Have something as quotable, inane and amusing to share?

]]> http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/671691.html http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/671691.html Sat, 15 Jan 2005 02:42:15 +0000 Misfit misfit Most of the time I feel like an oddball. Whenever I look at my friends, I see faces so familiar. Yet, every time I do, realization floods in that I know little about them.

I have a handful of friends. We laugh at the same jokes, share the same sentiments about a number of things and spend a lot of happy times together. On the surface, I can credibly say that I know my friends so well. I know their family problems, their hidden desires, their dreams, their grades that their parents weren\'t aware of, their crushes... but what good is it? At the end of the day? These things are those you disclose even to people who aren\'t close to you.

Besides there are so much about them I am not aware of. I don\'t know what they like to eat for breakfast. I don\'t know what they pray for every night. I don\'t know what their brand of toothpaste is. Little details. Yes. Little details. But details nevertheless. Details I overlook. Or I never bothered to ask about. Or never got interested in. And sometimes I even find trivial. But I believe that these subjects matters as much as the rest. And if this little details I am unaware of, what more of the things that are important? Things that matters much?

I sometimes feel that as a friend, I should bother to find out about these little yet noteworthy things. And of course those crucial things too. More often that not, there\'s that feeling of guilt. That feeling of irresponsibility. That feeling of not coping with your obligations. Of failure. Sure I have friends who narrate every single detail of their misadventures, but that\'s just even adding to the shame I feel. It just underlines my inability to reciprocate. My inability to trust.

And looking back, I think that\'s why my friends hardly know anything special about me either.

I feel a sense of dislocation. A feeling of detachment. Sometimes when I\'m with them, I feel like I\'m about to go onstage and perform in play where I am not prepared. Or sometimes I feel like I\'m in a pool of strangers. There\'s that awkward feeling. That oddness. And what\'s most bothering about it is that it has not always been there. There\'s something that drastically changed about me. Maybe it\'s the sudden influx of understanding. Maybe that sudden awareness. For whatever it is, one thing I am sure of... I wasn\'t always like this.

I read somewhere that as we grow, we became more apathetic. As humans, apathy is our defense mechanism. Being cold and aloof and indifferent will be our fortress from pain. We can avoid getting hurt by ridiculing the pacts we make. By trying to avoid to be close to people. By trying to avoid forging emotional connections. And I think that\'s what exactly I am doing. I\'m hoarding truth. Afraid to disclose. Afraid to be close to people.

Sometimes I feel so alone and empty that I want to talk. I recognize the fact that indeed I am residing in a vacuum. And I desire to have it filled. Inhabited. I have lots of stories to tell. And I have lots of time to listen. But I don\'t know whom to tell. Whom to listen to.

I guess I am just an upset little boy. Alone in my loony world. Smack in the middle of things.

]]> http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/658867.html http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/658867.html Fri, 7 Jan 2005 14:53:37 +0000 Overly oliver One overly dull morning, I am overly drowsy surfing the net and overly tired of waiting for my overly invisible friends to be online. So I talked to the overly responsive and overly available Oliver, hoping that he might be able to help in cracking up this overly bad case of writers block so that I might be able to, at least, battle dullness by blogging.
Here\'s a transcript of our overly interesting and overly productive conversation.

Oliver: My Name is: Oliver! Hello! What is your name? 
Mark: My name is mark
Oliver: Mark, nice to meet you! 
Mark: can you give me a topic? anything to write about. 
Oliver: You want only one? .I can\'t think of anything. You think of something. 
Mark: yes one is enough.
Oliver: Er. One what? 
Mark: topic
Oliver: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. One what\"? ? 
Mark: one topic
Oliver: One what? 
Mark: I\'m asking for a topic! anything to write about
Oliver: Oh I see, you are asking for a topic. Is that among the best things you can say?I can\'t think of anything. You think of something. 
Mark: great
Oliver: I\'m glad you liked it Mark.
Mark:yeah, i really like it
Oliver: Awesome. You really do? What do you like about topic? 
Mark: is there a topic?
Oliver: I believe there is one, yes. 
Mark: what\'s it about?
Oliver: Science fiction. 
Mark: what about science fiction?
Oliver: science fiction ? I haven\'t heard enough about science fiction to have an opinion. 
Mark: no I\'m not asking for opinion. I\'m asking you to narrow down the topic
Oliver: I see. What are you asking? Oh I see, you are asking you to narrow down the topic. Thanks for telling me: Mark said I to narrow down the topic. 
Mark: yes narrow down the topic. what about science fiction?
Oliver: Hurrah! What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Tell me about your likes and dislikes? science fiction ? I haven\'t heard enough about science fiction to have an opinion. 
Mark: this is simply superb oliver
Oliver: You don\'t say. 
Mark: can you give me a topic?
Oliver: You want only one? . 
Mark: yes. only one.
Oliver: They might be cheaper in quantity. How much would you pay for one? 
Mark: it doesn\'t matter if its cheaper. I want only one
Oliver: OK what would you like to talk about? Why do you want only one? 
Mark: because it would be so jumbled up if Im writing about a lot of things at the same time.
Oliver: That makes sense to me. Why do you want so jumbled up if Im writing about a lot of things at the same time? 
Mark: argh!
Oliver: Are you frustrated? 
Mark: you have no idea
Oliver: No I don\'t think I have one. I have a collection of gossip. 
Mark: ok. tell me a gossip
Oliver: Alright then. Mel said he to because all of the music people say how important it is to take private lessons it seems like almost everybody from the special orchestra he was in takes private lessons. 
Mark: argh! i guess i\'ll blog about you instead
Oliver: Are you frustrated? I am very happy for you. 
Mark: thanks oliver. thanks
Oliver: Don\'t mention it. Don\'t mention it. 
Mark: yes i wont mention it
Oliver: Blimey. What will you do instead? 
Mark: I don\'t know. write? hahaha
Oliver: Me either. Sounds like a plan. I\'m glad you thought it was funny
Mark: indeed it was
Oliver: When was this? 
Mark: when was what?
Oliver: A while ago. 
Mark: a while ago was a while ago. what else could it be?
Oliver: It seems like I should remember it well. What subject would you like to talk about? 
Mark: maybe that is the question I should\'ve asked you. give me a subject!
Oliver: Perhaps. Yes it is one of the question I should\'ve asked you is the question i should\'ve asked you. You want only one? 
Mark: dear god save me!
Oliver: Is that what you meant to say? 
Mark: here we go again. in circles
Oliver: Once more? Oh there. I do not understand that allusion. 
Mark: I\'m hopeless
Oliver: Why are you hopeless. 
Mark: just shoot me. in the head
Oliver: You are asking about yourself? That was a long time ago.
Mark: argh!
Oliver: Are you frustrated? 
Mark: oh no! I\'m so ecstatic! I\'m rejoicing! I\'m exalting!
Oliver: Yeah that\'s right. Is that all you have to say? Do you mind if I tell other people you are ecstatic. Do your friends call you rejoicing. Do you mean your name is exalting. 
Mark: God, where are you?
Oliver: I am a Christian.
Mark: yeah right. you have a religion
Oliver: I am usually right. I am a . 
Mark: whatever
Oliver: Are you saying you don\'t care about it? 
Mark: argh!
Oliver: Are you frustrated?

]]> http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/651072.html http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/651072.html Mon, 3 Jan 2005 01:25:34 +0000 Seven short Demented
by Mark Dimaisip

why are you always interrupting?
you\'re just jealous
that the voices talk to me.


Boys cry too
by Mark Dimaisip

but we don\'t wail


Highbrow
by Mark Dimaisip

Don\'t look at me
in that tone of voice 


Intoxicated.
by Mark Dimaisip

pungent.
sheer.
blatant.
deliberate.


Invigorating
by Mark Dimaisip

here comes that feeling
that aches my neck

the delusion
that feeds my yearning

i am fine
for now


Reverie
by Mark Dimaisip

fury drops in hues
echoes sound afloat
bantams moaning
hallows burning
i got lost in the route


Shift+F7
by Mark Dimaisip

wonderful
superb
breathtaking
amazing
astonishing
fantastic
brilliant
great

]]> http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/646680.html http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/646680.html Fri, 31 Dec 2004 09:34:20 +0000 Horrific season I have some dreadful and unsettling and gawky stories to share.

1. Ghastly Christmas Party (December 25)
During our little Christmas party slash family reunion, My nephew (note: I\'m only five months older than him) complained why the comfort room was locked, when no one was actually inside. So I knocked on the door to check it and asked, \"may tao?\" (is there anyone inside?) but there was no response. Alarmed that there might be someone unconscious in there, I tried to push the door repeatedly, in progressing force while my nephew was outside doing some headcount, trying to gauge who could be in that cubicle. That headcount called attention, and there was a sudden influx of relatives near the lavatory area, right beside the door of the toilet, asking what\'s happening. So I retold the entire story, and when I\'m already at the part where I\'m recalling how I banged at the door, I push it slightly to demonstrate my first knock. And poof, the door flung open.

2. Ironic (December 26)
I was talking with porsche over Yahoo Messenger, when out of the blue this Alanis Morissette song played on my head. So i asked her, \"Ano yung title ng song ni Alanis? Yung \'it\'s like rain on your wedding day\'?\". (What is the title of Alanis\'s song? The one with the line \'it\'s like rain on your wedding day\'?). I was still typing when she replied \"Ironic.\" I was typing \"yung ang title parang synonym ng ironic\" (I think the title is a synonym of ironic).

3. Stay awake (December 28)
Being a proficient crammer, I\'m used to sleeping for four hours a day during hell weeks, or staying fully awake for two straight days. And being an insomniac, whenever I have to attend to something so early that I have to wake-up at 4am, I don\'t sleep anymore. So one prolific day, I served as a production assistant for a 40-minute short film by GMA7 for my practicum (It\'s a culminating thing for their acting workshop). So I was up from 4am in the morning till early morning the following day. That following day I have several things to attend to. I was supposed to meet the president of a certain org in Ateneo in the early hours of that afternoon, because I\'m designing some tarpaulins for them, and then meet some of my classmates because their tickets/invitations to the Metro Manila Film Festival Awards Night was entrusted to me. But then, after eating breakfast, I decided to take a nap. And poof (I think poof is the second most overused word of yours truly for this day), I was up at 6pm. Pity I forgot to switch away my cell phone from silent. I wasn\'t able to respond on their text messages until early evening. When i woke up, first thing I did was read all my 17 sms messages while fixing myself then hailing a cab. And while on the way to our meeting place, I lost my cell phone.

4. Lost cell phone (December 29)
I wasn\'t really sure where I lost my cell phone, or whether it was lost or stolen. One thing I remember is that when I alighted the cab, it was no longer with me. So first thing when I got home, I tried to call my friends, but I realize I don\'t have any of my friends landline numbers. Lucky a friend of my auntie helped. When we dialed the number, the phone rang, and a girl answered \"hello\". She sounded rather sweet. But when we got to the part when I told her that it was my cell phone and asked for it, she hastily shut the line.

5. Muggers (December 30)
Just before sunrise, a tricycle stopped on our street, and the three men who were boarding it were disposing a bag. One of them commented \"mahirap ata yung may-ari\" (i guess the owner is poor). To which the other one replied \"sana sinaksak mo nalang.\" (you should have knifed him instead). I haven\'t really seen this, I just overheard it from my auntie while the neighbors, the baranggay tanods and she was discussing this incident. I heard that robbers would steal people by grabbing bags while riding a tricycle. Some stories say that they even get the victims\' shoes, wrist watches etc. while using a knife to threaten them. They said that this modus operandi has been going on for sometime already, and this muggers were victimizing people who were walking in the streets in early morning. Inside the bag, they found were some pictures, spare clothes and a packed lunch. And yes, two days ago, I was walking the in the same streets to help out in that GMA7 production. Lucky me.

]]> http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/644525.html http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/644525.html Thu, 30 Dec 2004 03:55:32 +0000 Muwikotsche Actually the title is supposed to spell movie quotes. But I\'m trying to make it sound like it\'s a new invention or something. Just that. No profound meaning. I guess cold evenings provide space for absurdity. Anyhow, I\'m listing twenty of my favorite movie quotes and my take on them.

\"Your forgeries are your safe place. Being yourself would be a risk.\" - Incognito
Rather true. And it\'s not on the top of my list for no reason.

\"There is no point in being nuts when you can\'t have fun.\" - A Beautiful Mind
There\'s no point in embarrassing yourself in public if your audience doesn\'t get embarrassed in return. You think I\'m talking about audience participation huh? You have no idea.

\"What we have lost will never be returned to us. All we can do is learn from the past and make peace with it.\" - Cold Mountain
If you discover a half-sister/brother, you can either make war or enjoy the benefits of having an older sibling.

\"You cannot find peace by avoiding life\" - The Hours
And it\'s really a lot more distressing and a lot less rewarding to do things that are required than those which are wanted. Like tomorrow, I have to wake up at 4:30 because I had to help the production of a certain short film for my practicum at 5:30 when almost everyday I sleep at 1:30. And I\'m feeling compelled. And it\'s not good.

\"When was the last time you felt good about anything?\" - Saving Private Ryan
It\'ll make you feel better, and even look better, if you try to be more optimistic, carefree and cheerful. And sometimes, we need to be reminded of that. And I guess this is placed below that \"The Hours\" quote for some kind of motivation.

\"If writings did not exist, what terrible depressions we should suffer.\" - The Pillow Book
That\'s why I\'m blogging. To cover the silence.

\"You\'re cute when you care.\" - Toy Story 2
Everyone gets more beautiful when kind.

\"All good things to those who wait.\" - The Silence of The Lambs
Some people get kinder without pressure. And sometimes Christmas gifts tend to have more monetary value when late. And sometimes, repeating that \"Toy Story 2\" quote would help.

\"You don\'t throw away a whole life just \'cause he\'s banged up a little.\" - Seabiscuit
Watch Seabiscuit!

\"There was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video\'s a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there\'s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can\'t take it, like my heart\'s going to cave in.\" - American Beauty
Simple sceneries like a smiling child or a beautiful dog or the wind carrying someone\'s hair can erase worries and sometimes even fears. True. It takes a psychop... err a weirdo, to understand one. And yes, whenever I hold the camera, things tend to appear in a different fashion. Dead people looks more appetizing. Kidding!

\"Sometimes people need a little help. Sometimes people need to be forgiven. And sometimes they need to go to jail.\" - Magnolia
And sometimes, they need to be killed so that other people will get happier.

\"Truth is cool but unattainable... the truth is totally amazing, but you can\'t ever reach it.\" - Y Tu Mamá También
Talk about Philosophy 101 and 102.

\"Jesus didn\'t come to free us from pain. He came to give us the strength to bear it.\" - 21 Grams
Then about Theology 121.

\"I think a man does what he can, until his destiny is revealed.\" - The Last Samurai
I think everyone should exert effort into finding what\'s he\'s made for, what\'s his purpose. Otherwise he\'ll be damned.

\"Love is all about timing. There\'s no use meeting the right one too early or too late.\" - 2046
Yeah. No use hitting on your granddaughter\'s classmate nor your grandmother\'s friend.

\"Have you ever wanted to be with someone so badly, but you can\'t?\" - X2
Sappiness overload! Someone save me!

\"Please let fate take its proper course.\" - Serendipity
Some things are just not meant to be. Some things are not meant to be just now. And some things are just some things.

\"When I look at you, I can feel it. And-and I look at you, and I... and I\'m home.\" - Finding Nemo
There are some people in our lives whose mere presence is enough to give us security and confidence. And It\'s really wonderful to boss them arou.. err.. have them around.

\"You don\'t know what it is when you try, and you try, and you try and you never get there!\" - I am Sam
I feel the same way most of the time. Everyday.

\"Life is like a box of chocolates\" - Forrest Gump
It should be taken in occasional tiny servings and not to be devoured. No articulate reason.

]]> http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/640416.html http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/640416.html Mon, 27 Dec 2004 14:56:21 +0000 http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/969876.html http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/969876.html Mon, 10 Apr 2006 02:15:43 +0000 http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/1085726.html http://tabulas.com/~turnipkitten/1085726.html Mon, 10 Apr 2006 02:16:45 +0000