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		<title>Tracy's spastic life</title>
		<description>spastic-ness rules!</description>
		<language>en</language>
		<lastBuildDate>Sat, 14 Nov 2009 15:37:31 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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			<title>told him adeeeee!!!!</title>
			<description><![CDATA[heya.. after writing da previous entry.. i stayed on9 till 2am.. was talking 2 justin.. errm actually it was him who as doin all da talking.. his trip 2 philippines was fantastic..n remember i told u ppl bout da balut (egg wif 1/2 formed bird??) yups he tried it!!!! he took a pic of it too cos he said he knew how grossed out i'd b.. lol.. ok anyways i did tell him bout d s/ship n bout me not goin back.. when i said so.. his tone changed from cheerful to sad?? errmm mad??? mayb disappointed.. i duno la.. he asked me a million times.. hehe ok im exaggerating.. i asked me 5 times whether dat was wat i really  wanted?? then i explained 2 him dat i wanted 2 go back too but yet there r more logical reasons 2 stay in msia.. finally he said dat if dat was wat i think is best 4 myself then i shld go 4 it n not let anything else come in da way.. i oso told him dat i considered goin back 4 my roomates n classmates.. n oso him.. but then i said i refused 2 let u b a factor cos its dumb.. i said dat i was looking 4ward 4 nx yr cos of us.. da possibility of getting 2gether as a couple.. wat he told me almost made me cry.. he said he was feeling da same way too.. hehe jac said mayb after all those 'fated' incident.. its just not meant 2 b cos no jodoh.. lol dat silly gal!! hmmm then after talking n explaining.. he said he understands.. n he adviced me.. he said life in spore is diff than msia.. (he used 2 live in msia till std 5) n he oso said dat in spore.. time management is sooo crucial n it takes quite some time 2 fit into da pace.. dis is wat i like bout him.. i mean all dis while i hear ppl say hw he always put others b4 him n hw he tries 2 brighten everybodys day.. only now i experienced his sincerity.. sigh but there will nvr b us ever!!! anyways when on da 27th till 29th dec.. i'll b goin back 2 spore 2 get my stuff n we r goin out again.. dun think it'll b my last time 'dating' him cos i'll go back often 2 visit frens n cousins n him.. n yah.. he will come 2 pg nx nov.. confirm d.. lol he'll bring some frens.. im quite sure he isnt joking la.. so hopefully he comes n u ppl can c him.. so at least we r frens.. sigh.. ok dats bout everything..]]></description>
			<link>http://tracyanntan.tabulas.com/2004/12/18/@625139/</link>
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			<pubDate>Sat, 18 Dec 2004 14:57:26 +0000</pubDate>
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			<title>weird..</title>
			<description><![CDATA[im feeling better nw.. mayb cos im not thinking of da major crisis dat i hv.. sigh.. justin just came back 2day.. talking 2 him on9 nw.. errrm still din tell him bout me not going back.. i guess i cant make myself say it.. arrrgh but i will la.. eventually.. slowly.. hehe.. nyways its been crazy lately.. i suddenly feel free.. no h/work 2 do.. those piles of assignments from spore.. can burn liao.. 4 once in a zillion years.. i feel soooo free!!! soo much time 2 watch tv.. lol.. ohh ya.. just wanted 2 share something.. i went out wif eric yesterday.. yah i know we've been out alot lately but its ntg.. we hung out.. doing da usual stuff.. (talking.. wat else??) hehe.. he brought his photo album n there were pics of him n sarah during his bro's wedding.. omg sarah looks soooooooooo like su ann!!!!! serious man.. she reminds me of su ann.. as in u su ann!!!! her hair.. her smile.. her posts.. gosh im not lying.. only dat her eyes r a lil weird.. hehe shar told me dat b4.. but besides dat.. she can easily pass 4 su ann's twin!!!! its scary man.. lol.. nyways bout my screwed up life.. errrm i'll b attending coll in pg.. kdu.. sigh.. yah gona complete my a-levels here.. n will b off 2 aust by 2006 (hopefully) depending on my grades.. n ping!!! u know wat?? its like.. u said u plan 2 get back wif kelvin rite?? hmmm i know its weird but when i read dat.. i thought of me.. n eric?? as in could it b possible?? im over him la.. but im gona b in pg 4 da nx yr so means i'll b hanging out wif him quite often too since we r gd buddies.. lol.. n i guess there might b a possibility of falling 4 him all over.. (im not hoping 4 dat 2 happen la) but wat if?????? esp when he told me he, jon n kuganesh plan 2 take up mass com in kdu.. (dat time i din tell him i enrolled in kdu!!) sigh im crazy la.. i guess it makes u think bout da past.. yet its true wat ppl say.. best leave da past as da past!!! hmmm nyways u guys shld c him n sarah!!! they r wonderful 2gether.. she's madly in luv wif her.. he?? errm wld say his oso crazy 4 her.. they r a perfect match.. its shocking how im happy 4 him!! as in he did find a gal who is similar 2 him.. so dats a bonus la.. hmmm yah.. still talking 2 justin.. hes telling me bout his philippines trip.. lol.. hes soooo into it.. i duno la.. i think i wont tell him 2nite la.. not a gd time.. i guess there will nvr b a perfect timing 4 dat.. sigh.. there r only 2 ways 2 think nw.. 1st is 2 b glad dat i went 2 spore n did get 2 know him n thank god 4 putting sum1 like him in my life n its ok cos its not da end of it.. i mean there wont b a r/ship but there was n still is a strong frenship btw us n dat will last 4 a lifetime.. 2nd is 2 sulk n regret n b down.. n dis will nvr bring me anywhere cos it'll just hold me back from moving on n i guess r/ship is not da thing 4 me right nw.. mayb dats da sign from god???? lol who knows??? sigh.. but deep down i know its bothering me.. just dat i always push it aside.. not wanting it 2 affect me like da way eric did.. its no pt la.. i mean i cld break up wif my bf of 2 n 1/2 yrs cos of studies (spore) so it shows dat justin doesnt mean dat much compared 2 eric.. i think??? ok im not making sense here.. wateva la.. errrm i'll update u guys bout justins reaction once i find a gd timing 2 tell him.. sigh.. wish me luck!! i gota b strong 4 myself..]]></description>
			<link>http://tracyanntan.tabulas.com/2004/12/16/@621836/</link>
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			<pubDate>Thu, 16 Dec 2004 14:59:24 +0000</pubDate>
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			<title>dis is it.. its final..</title>
			<description><![CDATA[at 1st da plan was 2 go back 2 spore.. n live wif my uncle n family.. but then i tot 2 myself.. y go back 2 spore???? spend soo much.. duno whether its worth it anot.. cos aft all its spore!!! i mean its not aust or us or uk etc.. so then i told my parents i dowana go back.. cos of da monetary part.. n oso cos i dun think i can produce good results 4 my a-levels there.. so i guess dis is it.. i'll b going 2 kdu in pg.. gosh dis sux man.. ive been crying all day.. my eyes r soooo puffy.. kdu offers a-levels (cambridge n not da london 1) n its just 1 yr course so its lk graduating same time as my batch.. sigh.. n i saw da kdu a-levels syllabus.. its way easier than da 1 in spore cos back there.. they tailor made their syllabus 2 suit them.. esp uni entry 2 NUS.. so i think i can score better here im msia.. esp when there is no more PE n co-curiculum activities n community service.. sigh n i covered 3/4 of da syllabus d so it'll b a relaxing yr 4 me.. i duno y im still crying.. i dun luv spore.. actually i hate da system n da ppl there.. but then again there r those who brightened my day while i was there.. helped me pull thru da toughest times.. da saddest thing i guess must b justin.. i duno la.. if u guys were me.. wld u go back 2 spore cos of a guy?????? not just any guy.. can say justin is da 1st guy i fell 4 n admire 4 sooo long n not realising he too had fell 4 me.. n we were strangers then.. its da 1 thing in my entire life dat happened which is y im soooo mad at God.. He made me fall in luv.. n then mad justin respond.. n worst of all.. make it look lk theres a future 2gether.. SIGH.. but i cant make justin DA FACTOR 2 go back rite?? its just dumb i guess.. though justins diff from my previous crushes.. but still.. no rite??? no pt!!! sigh.. he is supposed 2 b back 2day.. yet he is stranded in cebu airport yesterday cos of da storm.. his flight got delayed.. so now he has 2 fly 2 davao n he'll b back on thurs nia.. i really duno wat 2 say 2 him.. i know ive fallen 4 him sooooo deeply.. its like da best combi u can ever ask 4.. looks, attitude, money n most of all.. da heart.. ;( shld i b grateful dat we managed 2 go on dates right b4 i left.. cos nw being out wif him was da best part of spore.. he showed me places which i nvr knew existed.. like da parks etc.. we hung out.. doing ntg at all.. just talking.. n 4 once in my life.. i wasnt da 1 dominating da conversation.. he was talking n i was ACTUALLY listening!!! we laughed n shared many life experiences wif each other.. i mean.. if wana compare him wif eric.. justin has da body n looks n da funny thing is.. when wif justin.. it wasnt lust at all.. (im not saying when wif eric it was la!!) but though wif da great body n charming looks.. it was just his character dat shone.. n dats da hardest thing 2 let go.. i mean he came into ur life sumhow.. n it changed da way u c life.. n its nvr gona b da same lk b4.. i really think my life is cursed.. as in seriously.. my luv life 2 b specific.. i hate dis.. mayb i was destined 2 b a nun!!? yah i think so.. guess dat explains everything.. sigh..]]></description>
			<link>http://tracyanntan.tabulas.com/2004/12/13/@616470/</link>
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			<pubDate>Mon, 13 Dec 2004 05:25:27 +0000</pubDate>
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			<title>SIGH..</title>
			<description><![CDATA[its been stressful 4 da past days.. i mean.. ok da decisions quite final d.. i'll b going back 2 spore 2 complete my a-levels.. yah i think so.. cos i'll b living wif my uncles family.. hmm they want me 2 stay wif them so guess dats a better choice too.. less money spent on accomodation.. i duno la.. im not happy too.. as in.. sooo much money!!!!!! arrrgh nw im paying as a local.. like a sporean la.. cos if not gota pay as foreigner.. now gota re-apply 4 my skul.. c whether they will accept me.. gota re-apply 4 student pass etc.. soooo fan la.. n lotsa money involved again!!! n at da end of it.. can i produce da results?? i duno la.. havent beenn doing well at all 4 da 1st yr.. thx ppl.. 4 ur support.. i know i hv u guys at least.. mayb i shld just start over in msia?? i duno la.. dis is 1 pt of life where i feel lk i duno wat i want.. its lk soooo frustrating.. im doomed wif tonnes of h/work.. much of which i havent even touch yet!!! so im worrying bout hw 2 complete them.. not knowing exactly whether i'll b accepted anot.. arrrgh.. i wish i can run away.. far far away n not care bout all dis crap!! i hate dis.. i hate myself.. i hate everything!!! n justins not back from philippines so he doesnt know at all.. i guess mayb talking 2 him wld make me feel better.. n reassure me dat spore will b fine.. i duno la.. sux man.. i wana cry sooo badly but i dun have any tears left.. sigh.. i duno if starting over back here is a better idea??? cos wats da pt.. i gota make frens all over again.. get use 2 da enviroment etc.. might as well finish in spore n close dat chapter of life right??? my dad said quiting now is da worst thing cos after all.. im still a scholar.. just on merit award.. lol.. who cares??!]]></description>
			<link>http://tracyanntan.tabulas.com/2004/12/13/@616282/</link>
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			<pubDate>Mon, 13 Dec 2004 02:20:31 +0000</pubDate>
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			<title>neither here.. no there.. SIGH!</title>
			<description><![CDATA[im going nuts.. dis sux man.. ive cried lk a million times.. n its stupid cos part of me is happy cos da scholarship got terminated.. hmm cos i nvr liked spore.. though i did make frens n met justin n experienced things dat i know i wldnt if i continued staying in msia.. but im sad cos ive been thru lots in da past 6 months.. it wasnt fantastic.. it was more like hell but yet it made me a better n more mature person.. n da thing dat makes me cry whenever i think of not going back is da frens i made.. esp my roomates.. we were all 2nd batch scholars n we helped each other thru da bad times.. we shared tears, joys, had slumber parties, sleep-overs, late nite of cooking maggie mee in da pantry, bathing n shouting across da toilet cubicles, eating in dining hall, sharing food, sabo-ing each other like locking each other out of da room etc.. it was great!! da best part is hostel life.. its totally crazy.. frens in skul r ok la.. took me ages 2 blend in but ive found my click d n they r bugging me everytime on msn.. asking me 2 faster come back.. i really duno how 2 tell them.. sigh.. n justin.. dats da scariest thing la.. i duno y but im sooo mad at God.. i mean i fell 4 justin since day #1 n everything slowly fell into place sooo perfectly dat it seems sooo fated n planned.. n its definitely mutual cos we did talked bout 'us' n we thought it was best not 2 start a r/ship dis yr.. cos its just too soon n we barely know each other.. n cos we will b apart 4 2 months so dats y.. its v reasonable.. but then it seems sooooo real!!! like gona happened.. i mean its unfair 2 me rite?? sigh.. i duno la.. yesterday n today have been pure 'heart-2-heart' talk wif my parents.. actually more like they r lecturing me.. now da plan is.. whether i can stay wif my uncle's family in spore.. then can save alot on accomodation.. but i oso not sure whether dats wat i want.. as in.. 2 go back n suffer 4 another yr!! da other back-up plan dat my mom came up wif is.. 2 cont my a-levels in pg.. as in sit 4 da june 2005 paper n most likely in kdu or disted la.. sigh wateva it is.. i'll tell u guys.. im soooo doomed.. i totally feel like my entire future has collapsed!!! crushed!!! wateva u wana call it la..]]></description>
			<link>http://tracyanntan.tabulas.com/2004/12/11/@614164/</link>
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			<pubDate>Sat, 11 Dec 2004 15:05:28 +0000</pubDate>
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			<title>im dead!</title>
			<description><![CDATA[2day da letter bout my scholarship came.. it was a wk late.. anyways in summary.. my scholarship got terminated.. sigh.. i duno y im crying cos i sorta expected dis.. come on.. failing subj isnt a good thing.. however they offered me da merit award.. which is sumthing lk a 1/2 scholarship.. i mean hostel, food, expences r nt paid 4 la.. but got waiver 4 da fees n sum education fund thingy.. i duno la.. wana go back anot?? parents assume i will.. sigh.. its outa mind.. my hostel costs 800SD a month!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean is it worth it 2 spend sooo much money on a-levels?? i dun think its a gd idea.. might as well save da money 4 my uni rite?? cos after all.. nobody is gona c ur a-levels results when u go 2 uni n come out wif a degree rite??? sigh.. im not in a gd mood now.. went out wif eric during lunch.. we sat at mcDs (greenlane) for 2 hrs.. just talking crap.. i guess hes still da only person he can stand my whinning.. n he made me regret even more 4 leaving sunway.. i mean i always hv dis regret in me.. its just dat aft talking 2 him i realised its a bigger deal than i tot.. i mean.. its true wat he said.. i shld hv listened n followed my heart.. sigh.. jac n val oso told me dat.. so dumb of me 2 go 2 spore cos of my parents.. i mean.. if u were in my shoes.. wld u sacrifice 4 ur parents?? dats wat i did.. every1 knew i luved my life in sunway.. i enjoyed every bit of it there.. da frens, nite life, teachers, shopping etc.. but i left cos of my parents.. i was nvr happy in spore.. n nw when da scholarship is nt renewed.. im soooo mad at them 4 doing dis 2 me.. i knew then no matter hw badly i din wana go.. my parents will force me into it.. n i guess cos i oso hv a soft spot.. i knew i cant crush their hopes.. so im a 2 blame myself 4 being lidat???? arrrgh.. dun ask me.. dis sux.. things wld hv been great if i din leave sunway.. i was doing ok there.. results wise too.. n i'll prob b off 2 uni nx yr like every1 else.. melbourne u!!! haihs..]]></description>
			<link>http://tracyanntan.tabulas.com/2004/12/09/@610944/</link>
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			<pubDate>Thu, 09 Dec 2004 15:44:59 +0000</pubDate>
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			<title>sigh.. dis is nt good!!</title>
			<description><![CDATA[hey ppl.. its sooo weird.. u know wat.. ok justin left 4 philippines dis afternoon.. he'll b back on mon.. juz gone 2 visit his ill grandma who has months 2 live.. anyways ive dis weird feeling n i think its nt good.. u c.. he'll b visiting places like cebu n davao.. then i told my mom bout it.. she was like.. oooh his from da malay province.. then it hit me.. as in.. he is malay!!! justin is malay.. he told me b4 dat he's philipino malay mix chinese mix spanish.. but wateva it is.. he's still malay!!! i duno y its bothering me nw.. lol.. i guess it doesnt matter cos his christian after all.. but then it got me thinking.. no wonder his ex is malay!!! arrrgh i duno la.. it sounds weird n all.. i mean its nt a biggie i guess but suddenly it hit me.. hmmm talked 2 him last nite.. i told him 2 enjoy himself cos he really deserves a break after his camp n all those stress.. lol.. then i oso told him 2 take care cos philippines facing storms, floods etc nw.. then he said dun worry if i dun come back then i want u 2 know dat it was great knowing u!! hehe then i said u better come back in 1 piece n bring me sum phily goodies!! then he was like.. i will esp balut (balut is a delicacy there.. its fermented duck egg where da bird is 1/2 formed d!!!! yup its freaking gross!!!!) so dats bout it.. life moves on i guess.. oooh i drove da kelisa 2day.. hehe finally!!! out alone!!! me n da car.. lol.. its soooo small n cute!!! its my baby.. hehe my sis n mom n i always fight over da kelisa nw.. hehe its just sooooooo cute!! anyways my dad had dis weird idea since all of us always fight 2 drive da kelisa.. he said we shld sell da waja 4 another kelisa!! lol..]]></description>
			<link>http://tracyanntan.tabulas.com/2004/12/08/@608964/</link>
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			<pubDate>Wed, 08 Dec 2004 11:56:25 +0000</pubDate>
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			<title>yah great weekend!!</title>
			<description><![CDATA[yups agree wif mei dat i was fantastic.. hehe but i was da 1 who spoilt everything i guess.. sobs.. sorry yah dun b mad.. u c.. im da only 1 wif da weirdest parents.. i STILL hv a curfew.. i dun get 2 bring out a car (yet).. its insane man.. i think i hv more freedom in spore!! lols though the curfew time 4 hostel is 7pm.. grins.. just kidding la.. anyways its not dat.. my mom lets me hv a bf!!!!! shes mad man.. she was like.. justin? can can.. rich?? philipino?? got pineapple estate!!? hehe crazy la.. then she was like.. ok we make fruit cake then u bring back 4 him.. say compliments from penang.. wat the hell rite?? then dat day met eric n his entire family in my cousins church.. so then my mom was like.. ur ex r?? i was like.. hmmm wateva la.. then recently she come korek all da maklumat bout me n eric.. i kept it from her all dis while n nw she knows da full report!!! then she said.. serani serani all dun play play.. cannot n dowan.. c where pants all so low down.. hair dye like sum mad fella.. but philipino can.. lolz my moms sooo cute la.. duno la.. at times if i had da freedom rite.. then i'll b da happiest gal on earth.. grins.. anyways yups those ppl in pg rite.. wana go shopping wif me??? cos 2day i got rm300 from parents 2 go xmas shopping!!!! told u my parents r damn weird!!! sigh.. ok.. dats bout it.. so tell me la if u guys free wana go shopping/lepak yah?? ciao..]]></description>
			<link>http://tracyanntan.tabulas.com/2004/12/05/@603517/</link>
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			<pubDate>Sun, 05 Dec 2004 11:44:18 +0000</pubDate>
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			<title>thx ppl!!!</title>
			<description><![CDATA[hmmm i duno dat mad me feel any better.. yups i guess it did la.. really.. i shldnt b bothering bout dis nw.. im like soooo far away.. anything can happen rite?? nyways wont b talking 2 him till at least sat.. cos his camp started d n im sure he is v bz la.. hehe but i called him on mon nite.. we talked like for 17 mins.. hmmm it was fun listening 2 him again.. lolz its like when we 1st met lidat.. we started dating n then he late nite phone calls came.. he wld call 4 an hr or so.. n i'll b talking on my bed n my roomates will bising bising la.. hehe they say "go away justin!! tracy needs 2 study!!!" n dat was aft exam d la.. hehe kacau me big time only.. i'll ask him bout everything aft his camp la.. i oso wana know wats on his mind.. but im v sure hes nt back wif linzie cos he told me so.. like on sun i think? hmmm oh shar.. im attending chem n maths tuition.. lolz my moms brilliant idea 4 me 2 catch up wif my 1st yrs syllabus.. its 1 to 1.. both oso usm lecturers.. 2 hrs per lesson n i hv lessons every other day!!!! arrgh its crazy man.. i think being back here is sumwat like being in spore oso.. hehe cant even sit back n relax 4 long.. hmm.. anyways yest i din go clubbing wif my sunway frens la.. we ended up at batu ferringhi.. eating till 1am!!! lolz.. crazy ppl just wana eat n eat!!! ok la pg food is gd dats y.. n eric fetched me la.. ok its nt like wat u think it is ok.. i mean.. my frens asked me 2 ask him 2 come.. cos besides me n carina.. they duno any1 else in pg!! n they met eric once.. beginning of da yr cos he came 2 sunway wif poon wen n chew chek.. so i asked eric la.. then he agreed.. lolz i tot he wldnt la.. but anyways we had fun la!!! eric craps like hell.. entertaining them most of da time.. he insults me every other time.. telling them bout our history n making me sound like a lunatic.. lolz but it was ok la.. din mind cos my frens were laughing their heads off.. hmm im glad dat eric n i managed 2 remain frens.. as in his like my gd fren la.. sum1 dat i still share lotsa stuff wif.. like we do update each other wif our lives ie. r/ships.. i guess im lucky 2 hv an ex who still talks 2 me n wana b frens.. hehe n if u ask me.. whether im over over him?? i think u all know rite.. i am la.. n if i ever want too (nah wont happen cos justins a better choice).. i know cant oso la.. come on.. i'll b going back 2 spore.. he'll prob go 2 kl nx yr if hes a-levels results r ok.. if nt he'll stay in pg.. i mean i'll b leaving 4 overseas aft a-levels n there wont b a chance oso la.. hehe 2 think of it.. i dun even stand a chance wif justin!! if it ever happens its just gona b 4 a yr nia.. hmmm dat din hit me b4!!!! ok la dats bout it.. gota start on my holiday assignments n tuition h/work.. sigh]]></description>
			<link>http://tracyanntan.tabulas.com/2004/12/02/@596875/</link>
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			<pubDate>Thu, 02 Dec 2004 01:55:46 +0000</pubDate>
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			<title>sux man!!!</title>
			<description><![CDATA[arrrrgh.. my family is sooooo weird!!!! damn!! k we got another car.. a kelisa.. so dat makes 4 cars nw.. hmm techically only 3 la cos 1 of them is my dads companys car.. anyways they bought da car n so it means.. 4 cars = 4 family members = each a car rite?? ooooh no it doesnt work lidat.. dumb rite?? i still dun get 2 bring out a car.. lame reason like always.. 1stly, ive not been driving 4 da past 5 months cos im spore.. so no practice bla bla bla.. i mean.. come on man!!! gimme a break!!! dis sux man.. ivr gota rely on ppl.. isssk n theres a car sitting at home 4 ntg!!! i guess its there n it'll just gona rot under da sun.. arrrrgh!!! i cant express my anger n frustration man.. its beyond words.. anyways it wasnt a big deal cos i dun hv much time 4 myself in pg oso.. my hols r filled up wif tuition!!! gosh i hv chem n maths tuition.. 3 times a wk!! crazy man.. but its 4 me 2 catch up wif my 1st yr's syllabus so im not complaining (dat much) la.. but 2day my frens from sunway r down in pg!!! n guess wat?? im sitting at home.. sulking!!! arrrrgh!!! damn it.. (sorry 4 dat) hmmm my sunway frens r planning 2 go clubbing tmr.. da thing is.. hw?? no transport la.. i duno man.. i just duwana think right nw!!! yah bout justin.. havent been talking much lately.. i mean till nx wk at least.. cos hes camp starts tmr so since mon he was bz wif pre-camp stuff.. i read his blog.. he made a personal 1 which needs password so apparently only 3 ppl can excess it.. i wonder who?? me, him?? or mayb his best fren?? or linzie???????? i hope its not her.. sigh.. anyways in his earlier entries like 16 nov.. he said he ruined 3 lives; his n 2 others.. i assumed he meant mine n linzie.. gosh n his latest entry (28 nov) rite.. he wrote bout a dream.. k wait i cut n paste 4 u guys 2 read.. screw it.. cant cut pulak!! hmm nvm i'll type it out.. word by word since im freaking free nw.. lolz..<br />
"i dreamt of u last nite.. we were walking by the sea, and laying down at the sand looking up at the sky as the stars sparkled like diamonds. The mood was perfect, the setting like none other. You were like an angel as you moved gracefully like a ballet dancer never failing to fascinate me. You were next to me, i could feel you as you sat next to me. And then in a flash you went and i went somewhere too. You left my mind though i knew you were there. The same thing too i did to you. i sat right in front of you one day and the next you disappeared. And you were so far away.. then i woke up realising i was on my empty bed.. shocked but having this feeling that you were right next to me.. it brings back memories.. but i know its just a dream.." <br />
ok typing it word by word made me realised sumthing.. i mean.. earlier when i read it i felt like he was talking bout linzie.. yah but nw im VERY damn sure its her!!! gosh cos ballet dancer?? shes a great dancer.. sumthing like aster.. then these sentences "And then in a flash you went and i went somewhere too. You left my mind though i knew you were there. The same thing too i did to you. i sat right in front of you one day and the next you disappeared." hv a hidden meaning!!!!!! gosh im sooo dumb.. u c his trying 2 say dat she moved on, n he moved on.. but she was still sumwhere in his mind.. n its da same 4 her!!! am i talking sense???? gosh sum1 plz tell me im paranoid??? hmmm i better stop evaluating every line nw.. cos its starting 2 feel like GP or sumthing.. hehe ok im actually not in a v gd mood rite nw.. sigh.. is he trying 2 say dat hes still in luv wif her??? then y is he doing dis 2 me?? arrrgh.. nvm.. let it b.. cos if its meant 2 b it'll happened.. yups no pt pushing 4 it.. ive nvr pushed 4 anything 2 happened btw us.. so y shld i start nw rite?? k reply plz!!!!! n ADVICE!!!! lols esp reen, shar, jan.. da 1 wif bfs.. come on help me!!! i think u know da boys better nw.. ive no idea how their minds work.. its way 2 complicated.. n ping, mei etc.. hehe u too comment k.. bet ur previous experiences is gd enuff!!! hmm i oni had 1 dumb r/ship so im clueless now.. HELPPPP!!]]></description>
			<link>http://tracyanntan.tabulas.com/2004/11/30/@594786/</link>
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			<pubDate>Tue, 30 Nov 2004 12:18:12 +0000</pubDate>
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