On a happier note, one of the ladies in our scootering club is still finding rides we can do.  Five of us did a charity ride of 110 miles through a few small towns (like a poker run only drawing colored marbles then being scored by the color.)  It was posted on motorcycle sites but invited any vehicles.  Most of the particpants were leather-clad, bandana wearing guys on choppers and big motorcycles who just couldn't seem to get over the fact that we kept showing up on those colorful little scooters at all the stops! 

     Unfortunately, I have been careless in my eating, and I haven't lost anymore weight or eaten right.  It isn't just because I was busy.  I just sort of went on vacation there, too.  My motivation just isn't what it once was.  Time to knuckle down and get back in the groove for real.  I need to pursue a low fat way of eating, anyway.  I think it is supposed to help prevent fibroids.  And I am at that age.  When winter starts looming on the horizon, I feel like settling into everyday life, anyway.  May as well settle into healthy habits, eh?

     Of course, there is another reason.  Our company surprised me this year.  We didn't expect OT due to the economy.  Yet, our heavy season is here as usual and we are scheduled for extra-day overtime.  In fact more overtime than usual.  I have exactly three days off the rest of this month, IF I'm lucky and my department keeps up!  

     Not much money, no place to go, I thought I would catch up on a variety of things during my vacation that I had been meaning to do for some time now.  My list:  shop for a digital camara, refinish a table, reorganize and feng shui my room, sort through my stashed pile of bills, receipts, articles, magazines and statements, clean Carmine's aquarium (my goldfish), try on some old clothes pulled from storage, get the scooter serviced, find a clothesline, string it and wash my "line-dry only" sofa covers, sew some buttons on a coat, look for a ventilated pair of motorcycle gloves, clean up the phone numbers and photos stored on my phone, contact a friend about ordering a T-shirt for our club, register for the Race For The Cure (our team will be doing the UNtimed one), transplant some houseplants, take my sewing machine in for repair, clean out the car and take a huge pile of newspapers, cans, jars, batteries and magazines to the recycle center.  *Whew*  I got a lot of it done!!  Still have to take in the sewing machine, still working on cleaning and organizing the "family" and "health" baguas of my room, got one more plant to transplant, got the clothesline, now I have to wait out the rain, and I never got close to refinishing the table.  Eh.  Paltry stuff compared to Linda's Mission 100.  Mine is mostly the sum of procrastination!!  

     Happily, though, I have stayed busy with a variety of activities this summer.  Riding with the scooter people, lunching with a few long lost friends and attending a few art exhibits. 

     Meanwhile I am working on an idea of my own for a scooter outing.  Our president discussed assigning a month to each of us or to a pair of us next year to come up with an activity.  While reading some other sites on the internet I found one of a photographic scavenger hunt by the Pharoahs Scooter Society of Alburquerque.  As I perused the snapshots of ethnic or quirky or historical sites, I kept thinking of weird and wonderful places right here.  I started scribbling up a list and I have enough places to offer a similar contest for the next four years!

     I hope this is the end of whatever is going on.  It is time for a vacation.  But I can't take off right now because of changes in the workplace now that I am trying to build a "career" and, of course, (do I even need to say it?) I have no money.  Bleah, Bleah, Bleah!   

     Meanwhile I am investigating Feng Shui for my room.  I'm afraid to look at my astrological chart!!   

     158 pounds.  Nearly took off all the recent regain.  I ate better this week.  It was not too bad of a struggle to get back in control of eating.  Not like I expected.  I didn't really miss the pastries, ice cream and fast food that I had indulged during the two weeks previous.  Whew!  I feared I would be filled with longings and resentment.  Maybe I am getting used to this.  Yeah, well, you would think I would have no problems sticking with it, then, no?

     It seems, looking back, that I get a good start, all excited, staying strict on the plan.  Then comes a period of boredom, resentment, still staying with it but wistful and frustrated.  Then a leveling out.  It is just another day.  Then a period of creeping back into old habits of eating and quickly into full-blown, off-diet, overeating and unhealthy food.  Then half-hearted attempts to get back on the wagon for a couple of weeks, finally falling back into the new adopted patterns of healthier food preparation and eating.  I'm on the latter stage now.  Feeling ok about getting back on diet with a few minimal indulgences.  I'm trying to get back into the state of just postponing eating something that is off-plan. 

     You know what the worst part of it is?  I pick something up that I haven't had for a while, like a chocolate pastry, and it ends up not tasting quite as good as I remember.   So there it is, 400-500 calories of total waste, followed later by 900 calories worth of pizza that quickly seems ho-hum after the first bite or two.  I probably should throw the rest out but I mindlessly (or in disbelief, "...no, I remember this was good!") polish it off. 

     I'm blaming the fat cells.  They are ready to eat!  Done without too long and driven to getting back their plumpness.  Just lay out a plate of butter, we're ready!

     Really got to get hold of myself.

     At least I kept up with exercising.  I actually increased my weights during upper body lifts and I am doing six sets of squats now.  Mylegs and hips still act scary, what with pains and stiffness the next day or two.  But overall, feeling a lot better.  I think my hips are just going to come along slower than before.  But I think I may be about ready to start using the machines at the gym again!

     The group ride with the scooter club went well.  Saw some pretty country.  They rode faster than I normally do.  After all this time I still need to work on shifting smoothly!  It has been fun this summer, though.  I feel more comfortable riding this year than the past two.  Not nearly as nervous or clumsy-feeling, though I still practise caution, yes sir.

     My boss at work told me he thought I should prepare for increasing my leadership.  He thinks I could do a job like his and mentioned that some people higher up in the company will be retiring in the next two years.  A lot of positions could be opening and he wants me to try moving up!  I was flattered and pleased.  But I also feel trepidation.  It doesn't seem right to pass up opportunity, but I really don't want to take on any added stress.  There goes my no-think-about-it job!  Wish I had the funds to retire now!!

     I'm not sure how I am able to keep doing this.  Right now, I just keep saying, "I'll have some later, some other time.  It will be around"  I try to work against this mindset that this may be my last chance to eat something forbidden forever.  Just wait until Sunday, wait until Sunday, wait until later.  I am sure I could lose a little faster if I did not take Sunday as a Free Day.  But as long as I can keep within this limit I am happy. 

     I think my "Good Busy" finally caught up with me.  I feel a bit blue and crabby today.  Time for a rest?  Not for a while.  This weekend: two festivals with my mom and my neice, a cookout, helped my mother make plum jelly this morning.  Next weekend is the Fourth and I'll have family calling to go out for lunch or coming by to visit.  This evening is the first group ride with the club I joined.  I'm not feeling too social, though.  Have to put on a happy face.  I'm sure I'll enjoy it once I get there.  But something inside me isn't really wanting to do anything except lay around and listen to kids playing outside (it finally cooled off about 10 degrees) and suburban lawnmowers.  Maybe that's good.  The new member won't be jumping around like an excited puppy. 

     "Sometimes I want to get you low..."  Cracker