This one's different from my "How do 'turn down' a Korean guy?" post below.

The whole story is HERE. LOL

PLUG: Hey hey join the CES-ESA party at Warehouse 135 next term! :D

I realized several things though:

1. There are certain things I can't do and there are definitely other people who can do them better.

2. I'm still such a boy. :))

3. I think I'm amazingly weird to have made this blog post. I like it anyway. XD

*Yes, I know. Neon pink is vibrant. LOL

EDIT: Wait. Ang emo nito ah. Hahaha XD

So I guess I went overboard. I made you assume. I made you hope. I never intended that to happen. I admit that you made me happy. It was fun, really. But I never saw myself the way you saw me in "us". (Us?)

I've dropped too many sorry's already and yet you keep on turning the tables and filling yourself with the blame. It makes me even much guiltier.

Sana naman matuto kang magalit, kahit ngayon lang.

Dammit.

Soliloquy: Sige, tama na ang drama; tulog muna.

Digression: It's Saturday and my parents are in Pampanga. That means Manang will cook beefsteak for today. Hahaha XD

After my PERSEF3 earlier, I went to the new Starbucks across La Salle to grab dinner and read "My Brother, My Executioner" for my HUMALIT class. I decided to leave after I finish the 9th chapter; so I did. It was about 8:20 PM.

Outside, I waited for an FX for me to ride on. Suddenly, there was this Korean guy who approached me. He said that he just bought his phone (he showed it to me) and he asked me how to make a call to someone who wasn't using a cellphone. I assumed that he was asking how to contact someone's landline so I told him do this and that...

But then he suddenly said that he didn't know the number of the person he wishes to call and I thought like, "WTF?"

So he finally asked if he could have my number 'cause he wanted me to be his friend. There. Tsk, tsk. I really didn't know what to say, actually. I was laughing and I told him I needed to go home. He said, "Yeah, I just want to get your number."

And as always, I compulsively asked, "Why?"

He kinda struggled for an answer to that. He just said he wants us to be friends.

So blah blah yadda yadda... I can't remember the exact conversation but I know I was thinking of excuses for me to not give him my number haha.

I practically planned to tell him that I have a boyfriend and that he doesn't want me to just give out my cellphone number to anyone. LOL

But before I could say it, he said something like: I waited for you for about... *looks at wrist watch* ...an hour there in Starbucks.

And crap. I was a bit scared by that, ok? D: 'Cause I remembered that he was the guy sitting across my table and he was facing towards my direction all that time I was in Starbucks. The only thing that separated us was the glass wall (he was outside and I was inside, freezing to death).

Those kinds of things kinda freak me out, really. T__T So I finally decided that I won't give him my number.

Well, I did, but I altered the last digit. XD He seemed so happy after that. He thanked me and stuff. Oh yeah, he introduced himself some time in the middle of our talk. He said he was Yanny, if I'm not mistaken.

And all those moments, I kept on eyeing all the FX-es that were passing by. But when we were done talking, Life drowned me in irony again and there seemed to be a low supply of FX. Great.

Yanny approached me again and told me his thanks you's and stuff. He said he'll text me after 30 minutes. But he changed it to two hours after he found out that I'll arrive home after an hour or so. He told me I must reply. And he seemed so happy again.

Now I feel sort of guilty for giving him the wrong number. Waaah. D: Have I been so mean? But... but... but... I'm really uncomfortable with complete strangers, ok? >_< And if I'd given him the correct number, he would expect for replies, he might call and might want to meet up, etc. I didn't want the idea. >_< Oh and he also asked if I was gonna be there again tomorrow, etc.

Rawr~! What I did, was it so evil? :(

I think I have to be in stealth mode when I'm in Taft. Oh lord I hope he doesn't see me again. (I'm paranoid. He might approach me and ask me why I'm not replying. Wah...) And he seems to be the type who lingers in coffee shops in Taft. Uh-oh.

I really need to look for other places to read and have mocha. =/

*I've no biases against Koreans. It's just that I'm really uncomfortable with strangers. It would not have made any difference if the guy was Filipino, Chinese, American or whatever.

EDIT: Ok, I think I realize that what I did was pretty mean. I won't start explaining myself and I won't give any psychological/historical/based-on-experience/etc. reason of some sort as to why I did it 'cause that will take a while. Just... I'm sorry. :(

---

Rant: I still have to read half of the the novel for HUAMLIT tomorrow. And I just found out that I have to be "Oprah" and discuss "The Catcher in the Rye" tomorrow for USALITE. Arrgggh. Great, just great. Talk about time to prepare. :(

This isn't one of those what-I-want-to-be-in-the-future crap. No. It's more of a "here and now" thing.

I did a little bit of introspection a while ago and the result was more of utter confusion rather than clarity.

I always see myself as a complicated person, but I never erased the adjective "simple" from my list of autobiographical words.

I think I've never been angry at anyone or anything, but I easily get pissed off by little, unfortunately selected stuffs. Is there a difference? I tend to put gradations in feelings and emotions.

I don't have a crush on anyone, but I do have crushes on people (the phrase seems grammatically weird >_<) I see just about everywhere and anywhere. Does that even make sense?

I like the color red. I don't like rainbow-ish themes.

I love being idle. I hate lazy Sunday afternoons.

I love the silence. I don't like feeling deaf when it's quiet.

I'm never comfortable with new people. I just had a great time with someone I barely know.

I'm not a morning person. The schedule I made for next term would require me to wake up at 6 AM everyday.

I can hardly see myself dwelling too much on emotions. Read my poems.

...

What else? There's a lot more but I can't add any right now.

And those? They're probably the reason why I like ironies and contradictions in everything--in poetry, in the weather, in scratch papers, in trash.

Give me your comment and I'll give you my love. ♥

(It seems that I can't be serious all throughout anymore. Sorry about that. Hahaha.)

It's 19:05 in London.

Your absence stops the earth from revolving

Your empty seat keeps the sun from rising

Burn me with your wrath, what took you so long?

Pray tell, what was it that made you turn 'round?

I screamed seven times but you looked back six

I'm a shattered china you cannot fix

What was it then that you've finally found?

Under purple clouds I do wonder why

There, behind the sparks: rotten black roses

When all the words you've said seemed glittering

With pristine tears falling, I wonder why

They seem to never heal, my heart's bruises

You fled and left me breathing but dying.

Hmm. Perhaps stress inspired me. :)

Basically, here's the result:

LOL