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Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:02:55 +0000

Please click on the link. You don't even have to go back to it na.

Just make an account and leave it alone na if you want.

Defectively Effective

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 13:27:42 +0000

I can't count the number of times I got bummed out when something I bought wasn't in good working order. Or the number of times I bought something which was good for a handful of uses before it stopped working. Matter of fact, just a while ago I was complaining to my brother about a game we bought which was working fine for about four weeks. It just suddenly up and decided to stop working.

Most little kids would know how I feel when a basketball goes flat for the first time. You pump air in it only to find that the air's leaking out of a hole you never knew was there. I've got three basketballs here that I refuse to throw away even if they're too flat to use.

And of course, basketball shoes. Through the games, through the hardwood, night and day, cement, soil, asphalt, them shoes run up and down the court. The day has to come when the sole seperates. Or you realize that there's no friction there while you're running. Realizing the pads have worn out and it's too dangerous to use them any more.

All these things can't be used anymore. And it's either they lie around collecting cobwebs or they go into the trash.

Those are just small things though. What about big things. I don't know how long it's been since the day our church burned down. That was a heartbreak for us all. I'd been going to that church for, literally, my whole life. I was baptized there and I practically grew in that church. My parents got married in that church. My brother had his Confirmation in that church.

What the parish did, however, was just very overwhelming. Yes, St. Alphonsus de Ligouri church burned down. The structure, the pews, and sadly, even the crucifix.. but the church as a community did not. The ruins of the church was used for several months for bazaars to raise funds to build a new church. As of present date, there is a new church standing there. Bazaars are still being held beside the church for different causes. Back then, when it was still ruins, church activity continued. Masses were still being held in the area. Baptisms, Confirmations, and Weddings were still being held. People still celebrated each time new lectors and new lay ministers were introduced to the community. And lastly, the village youth group would still use the area for weekly prayer meetings.

A new church stands there now. It's a far cry from the church of my childhood.. but it continually serves as a reminder of the time the first church burned down.

And it's very amazing how God continued to use the church even as it's ashes stained the floor.

It was burned to the ground. All the years it had been standing.. something finally happened that caused that church to give in. It succumbed to whatever it was that was pressuring it. Faulty wiring, one of the candles started the fire, something overheated.. whatever the case.. something was the cause of the churches fall. And yet God continued to use it to do His work for Him. Yes, several people couldn't take the heat. They left for different parishes which had the luxury of aircon in their masses. But God continued to use that church to do His work and He watched as it slowly rose again.

Much like me.

And those who know the story of my life.. of how I succumbed to everything around me.

How I was on a downward spiral of self-destruction...

Of how I burned to the ground..

And of the people who gave up on me...

Those people saw how God never gave up on me. They saw me rise to my feet. They saw God working in me even though I refused to believe in myself, wallowing in self-pity.

God used the church.

God used me.

And if you think your problems are weighing you down...

Newsflash.. God can still use you.

You can be totally useless to the rest of the world... but never to Him.

The Day My Heart Broke

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 15:19:40 +0000

I have never been so broken as I was a while ago. I was walking the walkway going to the LRT. It was just another day for me. I remember even thinking about where I'd hang out after class... that's how casual it was for me. Then I saw something that made my heart drop.

I can imagine what it's like to be hungry. I've been hungry several times before. I've gone to bed without eating dinner... skipped breakfast the next day. Literally a day without eating. Lunch from one day then lunch the next day being my next meal. I've been that hungry. But I've never been hungry enough that I couldn't control my tears anymore. I can't even imagine how that could feel like. If going without food for twenty-hours felt bad.. how much more going without food till tears fall down your face.

That's what made my heart drop. My heart broke right there. I was staring at a little boy, roughly five to seven years old, who was crying his heart out. He was crying like anything.. his cheeks looked as if he just washed something off. He had one hand holding out a cup and his other hand and arm were wrapped across his stomach.

All I was thinking at that moment was that I had to keep walking because I didn't want to miss the train. I had to catch it. I had to avoid all the people. I passed him with a heavy heart. But as soon as I passed him my footsteps were losing the rythm. They were getting slower and slower. I just couldn't walk away from that kid. I squatted beside him and begun to take out my wallet. That's when I saw that there was probably less than five bucks in his cup. It didn't matter how many coins I had in my pocket.. he probably wouldn't have enough to buy a meal. I decided to take his hand and bring him with me to one of the waffle dog places. When we got there, though.. I realized that I shouldn't be feeding him some junk off the street. So I brought him to 7-11. Funny thing, though... When I asked him what he wanted, he kept on insisting on either a chocolate donut or a chocolate eclair. I kept on telling him that I wanna get him a proper meal and that chocolate isn't gonna do him good. In the end, I got him both.

That's how I met Bryan. Seven year old kid who had me close to tears the first time I met him. The first time I almost shouted at a security guard because he wouldn't let him in the convenience store. I had to convince the guard that he was with me and that he was gonna be a customer.

All I could do was laugh in my mind when I was thinking about the whole thing. He was sitting down in a public area desperate for help. When help came.. he wanted something else.

Kinda reminds me of... me.

Before I met God.

I may not have been literally asking for help. But my heart was screaming for it.

And I'm thankful for the people and the God who came my way.

Saddest Line

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 14:37:56 +0000

Let me let you go.
-The Lakehouse

Saddest line I've ever heard. It would really hurt if someone told me this.. because it would mean that she doesn't want to... and she's asking me to help her.

Super Long Survey From Kahat

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 14:14:01 +0000

SOCIAL LIFE!
1. Who is/are your best friend(s)?: Rico, JR, Roche. Jika.
2. Are your friends mostly older or younger than you?: Pretty equal.
3. Who do you sit with at lunch?: Depends on the day. Mostly CYA friends.
4. How often do you get in trouble for talking to your friends in class?: Never. Wahaha.
5. Which friends live the closest to you? JR.. for the next few days.
6. The farthest? Starting Saturday... JR
7. Are your friends mostly like you or is there a variety? I don't want all my friends to be like me...
8. Do you & your friends dress alike? Nope
9. Who was the last friend you hungout with? Kahat and Pia
10. Where do you & your friends usually hangout? House, Glorietta, or school area
11. Which friend is the best with giving advice? They all are the best at giving advice. Giving GOOD advice, however...
12. Can you tell your best friends anything? Hell yeah.

FAMILY LIFE!
13. Name your sibling(s): Mark Agustus and Mara Arianne
14. Which ones do you get along with the most? Mark
15. What's your mom & dad's middle names? Father= Macaso, Mother= Li.
16. Who is your favorite family member? My family is my favorite.
17. Least favorite? *snicker*
18. Which family member haven't you seen in awhile?: My ninang in Canada
19. Are you related to anyone moderately famous?: Yeah. Two of them.
20. Which of your cousins are your favorite? The one who's famous. But now she's too famous to hang out.
21. Do you have any step family members? Nope
22. Which member of your family gives the most expensive gifts? Mom's side. Most of them.
23. Does most of your family live close or far? Pretty much decent. The closest is a few houses away. The furthest is over at Laguna.

LOVE LIFE!
24. Single or taken?: Single
25. If single, are you looking?: Nope
26. If taken, are you happy?:
27. Who was your first girlfriend?: Lol... official? Or non-official?
28. How long was your longest relationship?: 4 years and 6 months.
29. Ever been in love?: Who hasn't?
30. Have you ever said "I love you" & DIDN'T mean it?: Yep
31. Do you like anyone now?: LOL. Do I like anyone?!?! Any ONE?
32. Can teenagers love?: Mature ones... yeah.
33. Who was your first crush?: Kristine? Way back... Kinder.
34. What's the longest you've liked someone for?: 4 years and counting.
35. When was your last kiss?: Hah!
36. Would you kiss the person you kissed last again?: Nope.

FASHION & STYLE!
37. How would you describe your style?: Pretty simple.
38. What's your favorite store(s) to shop at?: Lol. Rubber shoe stores.
39. Do you only shop at those stores or do you shop anywhere?: If I shopped only at rubber shoe stores then I'd be wearing shoes for underwear.
40. Are you one of the less-conceited people who will shop at Wal*Mart, Kmart, etc?: LOL!!! US memories. Of course I am.
41. Do you like to thrift shop?: Yeah.
42. Do you buy clothes from garage sales?: No way!
43. What's your favorite shirt?: Plain white
44. What about favorite pair of pants?: I only use 3 pairs of pants. Haha.
45. What's your least favorite current trend?: The nakataas na collar.
46. What decade do you love the fashion from?: Tie dye and 'fros.
47. Who is your fashion icon?: I don't have..
48. Which of your friend's wardrobe to you want to raid?: None.

CHILDHOOD!
49. Who was your first best friend?: Andy Ugarte
50. Which kids in your neighborhood did you hang out with most?: Pasay... none. Magallanes.. most of the ballers.
51. What preschool did you go to?: The one in Magallanes. Lol.
52. What about elementary school?: Colegio San Agustin
53. What is your favorite childhood memory?: Getting into a fight and my dad loved me for it.
54. What pet do you miss from your childhood?: Spooky :(
55. Which friends from your childhood do you still talk to?: JR and Dino
56. What were your favorite toys as a child?: I didn't have a favorite.
57. Did you like to play dress-up?: Pwede ba...
58. What was your worst childhood memory?: Black eye?
59. Were you a good or bad kid?: I think I was a good kid.

THIS OR THAT!
60. Family or friends?: Family all the way
61. Necklace or bracelet?: Bracelet... on my ankles.
62. Junk food or healthy food?: Healthy.
63. Pink or purple?: Purple. The dark shade.
64. Cartoon Network or Nickeldeon?: CN
65. MTV or FUSE?: Mtv
66. Rock or rap?: Rock. No contest.
67. White or black?: White
68. Pirates or ninjas?: Ninjas.
69. Anime or manga?: Anime
70. Open or closed?: Be open to be close.
71. Screamo or emo?: EHMO.
72. Love or hate?: Love
73. Manly or Effem?: Manly naman siguro!!!
74. Coffee or tea?: Tea. Iced.
75. Computer or TV?:Computer

SCHOOL!
76. Which of your teachers can't you stand?: COMSKI...
77. Easiest class?: Peforts. Basketball, baby.
78. Hardest class?: Filipino
79. What school do you go to?: De La Salle-College of St. Benilde.
80. What high school do/did/will you go to?: Colegio San Agustin
91. What time do you wake up for school?: I don't wake up for school
92. What time do you go to bed on school nights?: 2-3
93. Favorite thing about school?: Time alone
94. Least favorite?: Least favorite about school? School!
95. Most embarassing school memory?: Getting my pants pulled down?
96. Worst teacher you ever had?: Don't think I've had any
97. Best teacher you ever had?: Padlan for president

FAVORITES!
98. Band: Third Eye Blind
99. Singer: Definitely not me
100. Food: Pizza and Shawarma
101. Candy: Judge counts?
102. Type of shoe: Sneakers
103. Eye color: Brown
104. Thing you own: Tessa
105. Cake icing flavor: Sansrival
106. Pie filling: None yata..
107. Person: That's kinda general...
108. Celebrity: Angel Locsin. Anna Faris. Eye candy. Rar.
109. Soda: I don't drink soda eh..
110. Flower: Hmm..
111. Color(s): White and Violet.
112. Song: Semi-charmed Life
113. Day of the week: Wednesday
114. Week: Favorite week?!? WTH?!?!??
115. Year of your life: 1986?
116. Time of day: 4pm.
117. Place: My room
118. Book: Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. All by one person.
119. Screenname you've had: Sharkbait.
120. Number: 17

FIRSTS, LASTS & CURRENTS!
121. First school attended?: Forgot the name.
122. First favorite colors?: Green.
123. First favorite band?: Third Eye Blind pa rin.
124. First favorite show?: Some kiddy show.
125. First favorite teacher?: My Kinder teacher.
126. First cellphone?: 5110
127. First car? Honda Civic.
128. First house? Same house
129. Last kiss?: Casual kiss? Raine. Beso.
130. Last time you walked home from school?: Last year?
131. Last thing you ate?: Spaghetti and Inihaw na Liempo
132. Last thing you were upset about? I did this survey to forget sana eh...
133. Last thing you daydreamed about? Controlling time. My staple daydream.
134. Last time you were happy? Now rin naman... kahit badtrip.
135. Last friend you talked to? Joni
136. Last bit of advice you recieved? I don't remember...
137. Current clothes? Baller shorts and shirt with ripped off sleeves.
138. Current worry? None.
139. Current plans for tomorrow? School and hangout. As usual.
140. Current mood? Badtrip.
141. Current weather? HOT
142. Current date & time? Sept 12.. 10:09PM
143. Current annoyance? Still that nakatayo na collar thing.

RANDOM CLOSING QUESTIONS!
144. What's your favorite flavor of Gatorade?: Blue frost
145. Ever heard of the band Die Toten Hosen?: Too old.
146. What languages do you want to learn?: Ilonggo
147. How many bathrooms are in your house? 3
148. Do you own a lava lamp? Yeah
149. What's your favorite mall? Glorietta. Home away from home
150. Ever had to wear a cast? Yeah
151. What about carry around crutches?: Yes
152. Do you send out cards for holidays?: Nope.
153. Do you log onto MySpace everyday?:Nope.
154. What do you want for your upcoming birthday?: A surprise party?

Only One For Me

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 16:45:01 +0000

Yeah.. Shakey's theme.

I worked as a Restaurant Coordinator and Manager at Shakey's for about 4 months. I resigned for a reason which I will delve into later.

But for my stay there, I learned a lot of things.

I learned that every day, you will encounter people who will smile back at you if you smile at them. But you will also encounter someone who will, no matter how courteous you might be, always look down on you. ~~Pataasan tayo ng IQ, ano?~~

I learned that there will be people who, no matter how hard you try to convince them that Bottomless Iced Tea will be better, will still settle for ordering two or three glasses of Iced Tea.

I learned to look at the people who I work with as family. They became my family despite the language they speak, where they're from, or what educational degree they've accomplished.

I learned that there are certain people who need you and not just any other server.
*Whenever I foreign customer walked in I was automatically the person who would be serving him/her*

I learned that you smile at the beginning and at the end of the day. It's possible to smile during your shift.. but if you do.. that's considered a blessing. It's the people who you begin the day with and the people who are there at the end that make you feel like it was all a good experience.

I learned that you can learn something from everyone. You can learn something from you boss, from the new recruit, or even from a customer.

So like I said earlier, I resigned. I resigned because I still had a so much deeper commitment in another community. I had a deeper commitment with Him.

I still encounter people who return my smile. And I still encounter people who look down on me for what I'm trying to do for them.

I still encounter people who are so much happier with what they have. The people who refuse to believe that I'm offering something better.

The people who I'm working with now is my family. They always will be, regardless of school, social standing.. and the language we speak. ~~Conyo is allowed~~

There are still people who need me. More importantly, there are still people who need Him. And it's my job to bring Him to those people.

This is more of a difference. I still smile at the beginning and at the end of the day. I still get tired during my "shift". But smiling is always possible. Always.

And I still learn something from someone. From everyone. And more importantly, I grow.

So from one family to another, one commitment to another. I loved both, but I'm in love with only one, despite the similarities. Why is that? It's self-explanatory.

But in case you still can't figure out what is that special factor that made me do what I did..

In the words of the Shakey's jingle which I used to hear over and over again in the branch..

~~Shakey's~~ Lord, you're the only one for me.

Gray Skies

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 12:30:06 +0000

A while ago was one of the rare times that I didn't sleep by choice. Usually if I don't sleep it's because three reasons. School, insomnia, or something's bothering me. A while ago I chose to stay awake. I just wanted to see the sunrise. I haven't seen the sunrise in years.

I just found it really amazing. I waited to see the sun, and when it was that time all I could see where the dark clouds on the horizon. Apparently the storm hadn't left yet.

One thing amazed me though. There was still light.

My whole life was filled with animosity.
The whole sky was covered in gray...

But God still found a way to give me hope..
But God still found a way to let the sunshine slip through..

Just a little something to think about if your skies are all gray.

Blessings in the Rain

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 16:16:29 +0000

I brought my mom to work today. As we were going down that bridge to Ayala my front left tire just burst. Not flat, not deflated, burst. To make matters worse, I didn't have the key to the spare tire we had at the back of the car. I decided to run all the way to Evangelista to buy another tire and run back and change it. And these are the many blessings that I realized:

1. I got dirt on my my hands carrying and changing the tire. I'm strong enough to carry a tire and run with it all the way back.

2. Rain came down while I was changing the tire. God made it rain so it wouldn't be too hot.

3. The profanities being shouted by drivers passing by were the cherry on top. I knew I had an education and wouldn't resort to shouting back at them. ~~Even though the temptation was so strong.~~

4. My mom was in the passenger seat the whole time. She was one hour late for work. But she refused to take a cab to make sure that I was ok.

5. Blisters in my feet from running in my slippers. I can run.

This brings to mind one of the cliche sayings I've been hearing. I just never actually felt it to be true until today.

Bring on the worldy, ordinary problems. Because they are no match for my extraordinary God.

...

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 20:15:09 +0000

Since I have nothing better to do...

Wow. I can't believe I'm answering a survey.

To take my mind of the hurt nalang...

1. What is your middle name?
~ de Guzman

2. How big is your bed?
~ Single and a half?

3. What are you listening to right now?
~ Sanctuary

4. What are the last 4 digits in your
cellphone
number?
~ 5856

5. What was the last thing you drank?
~ Iced tea

6. Last person who drove you somewhere?
_Myself

7. How is the weather right now?
_Dark

8. Who was the last person you talked
to on the phone?
_Christel

9. The first thing you notice about
the opposite sex?
_Smile

10. Favorite type of Food?
_Pinoy, Italian

11. Do you want children? How many?
_Yes. Depends. Me and my future wife will plan it

13. Ever got so drunk you don't
remember the entire night?
_Long time ago

14. Hair color?
_Black

15. Eye color?
_Dark brown

16. Do you wear eye contacts?
_Yeah

17. Favorite holiday?
_None

18. Favorite season?
_Autumn

19. Have you ever cried over a
girl/boy?
_ LOL!!! Thanks a lot you stupid survey. You're supposed to be helping me

20. Last movie you watched?
_Does HP5 count? I slept through it.

21. What books are you reading?
_Fugitives of Chaos

22. Piercing?
_6 on my left ear. Three are closed. The other 3 are almost closed.

23. Favorite Movie?
_Prestige and Happy Feet

24. Favorite college basketball team?
_ Lol. Green Archers?

25. What were you doing before this?
_Er... Reading this

26. Any pets?
_Dogs and turtles

27. Favorite flower?
_LOL!!!!

28. Have you ever loved someone?
_I'm 21.. sana naman.

29. Who would you like to see right
now?
_ She knows who she is.

30. Last time you cried?
_ Hours ago

31. Do you like to travel by plane?
_Not really

32. Right-handed or left-handed?
_ Right

33. If you could go to any place right
now where would you go?
_ Heaven

34. Are you missing someone?
_ Sobra

35. Do you have a tattoo?
_ No

36. Do you still watch cartoons on
Saturday mornings?
_ No

37. Are you hiding something from
someone?
_Yeah

38. Are you 18?
_No

39. What is the wallpaper on your cell
phone?
_Sigh... something I should take my mind off of...

40. Did you get enough sleep last
night?
_LOL!!!

41. First thing you thought about this
morning?.
_ This survey is REALLY NOT HELPING

42. What do you have handy at your
bedside?
_Bible

43. Grilled or fried?
_Depends

44. When's the last time you saw your
friend(s)?
_Last Saturday

45. Are you afraid of the dark?
_ no

46. One person you can't live without?
_ Not applicable. I don't believe in that.

47. First thing you will do if given
50 thousand dollars?
_Keep it. Duh.

48. Favorite song?
_ Semi Charmed Life

49. What are you afraid of?
_Being trapped in the dark. Lol

50. Are you a giver or a taker?
_I have to be both

51. What do people call you for short?
_Matt

52. Whats your dad's middle name?
_ Macaso