The nonsense continues at http://kevinchuablog.tumblr.com !

Yo mama's so fat, her waist is equator.

Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.

Yo mama's so fat, it takes a train to get to the other side.

Yo mama's so fat, she strikes oil when on heels.

Yo mama's so fat, she needs shock absorbers on toilet seat.

Yo mama's so fat, she kills mosquitoes with fat folds.

Yo mama's so fat, she needs to screw her panties onto her fat folds.

Yo mama's so fat, even her clothes have stretch marks.

Yo mama's so fat, she step on a dollar, she gets change.

Yo mama's so fat, she makes solar eclipses.

Yo mama's so fat, she walks in front of TV and you miss the whole series.

I WOULD like to share my experience of the use of e-mail to relay important information. What I encountered is not widespread but it is not an isolated case.

I have a friend who studies in a local university that requires the lecturer to upload class notes and assignments for students. This is a good idea as it reduces not only time but also paper the lecturer would need to photocopy. And most times, there would be extra copies that might go to waste.

However, of late, I have learnt that certain lecturers upload their notes at the 11th hour, that is, at night when the class is first thing the next morning. Although most students have computers at home, some do not have printers. They therefore have to race to school to print their notes before class.

On another occasion, the lecturer sent an e-mail message to my friend that a lesson was scheduled the next day (a last-minute addition to the fixed timetable). The message also asked my friend to tell the other students. Fortunately, my friend knew some of the students and managed to tell them. I am interested to know what would have happened if my friend did not check his e-mail that day. Would the lecturer have marked them all absent?

Although I am not a student in this university, I felt the frustration as if I were in my friend's shoes. I am disappointed we are paying for people who are so unprofessional.

Teo Cheng Nam

It's the National University of Singapore!

World class uni my arse.

Anyways, back to the ridiculously funny letter that the competent editor of my favourite paper had decided to print. Here goes.

Not from work itself, but from the dreaded early mornings.

I'm just not a morning person.

But alas, I have no longer the luxury to ignore Mornings.

2 months of hiatus and here I am again. It's 'good' to know that some things just don't change in Singapore during the time I'm gone. Like....this funny ST Forum letter again! Another poor soul whinging over a few extra dollars that she'd paid. Puhleze, I've been conned by shrewd retailers and suffered more serious consequences (much more than this $6 heavenly injustice she's writing) but you don't see me bitching about it. I'd just sliced and diced the retailers into pieces let it go.Anyhow, here's the letter, from The Straits Times as usual.

Yonex racquet's sale price higher than original price

I BOUGHT a Yonex badminton racquet at Takashimaya World of Sports with a sale price tag $57.

After paying, I was curious to know the original price. So I peeled away the sale price tag. To my shock, I saw the original price of $51.

I saw another racquet with a sale price tag of $66. To confirm whether there was wrong tagging, I peeled the sale price tag and it revealed the original price of $49.

I approached the sale staff and was told that it could be due to the GST increase.

I was not convinced of the explanation as a 2 per cent increase does not justify the difference.

I was referred to another sales staff. This time, the explanation given was that World of Sport buys in bulk from Yonex and thus was able to sell at a lower price originally. However, the sale price was recommended by Yonex.

I felt that the explanation was not justifiable. If Yonex is able to sell at a lower price initially and if there is a need to increase price, why tag a sale on the price tag?

Goh Poh Kheng (Ms)

Source(url)

And the grand aim of Hardcore 3? Winning a pair of dirty knickers by playing Pachinko in Japan. Wish me luck! Dirrty!

Oh, that reminds me to write to those havoc wrecking maniacs from Imperial also. Haha. It's been a while since I wrote to any of them.

In fact, rather than dwelling into the emo mood to reminisce what have happened over those frantic years, I'm looking forward to the good times ahead. I disagree to the view where the end of university life means an end to the life of the carefree. On the contrary, I deem the end of the university life the start of a life of the carefree. From now on, I'm free to decide how to live my life rather than follow a curriculum which has been meticulously engineered for you. I'm excited.

So friends, if you are reading this. We'll always meet up if we make the effort. We can also lead the life we want to. We can get the best of both worlds. So stop dwelling in the end of the 'good old times' and start smiling towards a better life ahead. Chin up! 

A majestic gorge is renamed "Tiger Leaping Gorge"  (Gwah gwah gwah...) It just sounds so anti climatic with an English translated name as all the poetic meaning behind its original name in Chinese is being butchered.

Anyhow, while it did tone down the romanticism of the original name, it did provide unexpected humour too. My friend was explaining to me how THESE white fluff balls got their names "狗不理包子" or if you need me to translate loosely again - 'Buns that the dogs' don't care about'

The whole story was told over MSN and hence the mode of communications were in English (or what seemed like English anyways). Chinese characters are just a pain in the arse to key in, at least for me.

Since my friend wanted full glory for this obscene story, here goes. Mr Li Guowei, congratulations for winning my weekly award for perverted story of the week! *throws confetti*

/Transcript:

 (Guowei):

The chef mr dog originated from there (Tianjin)

The former empress (the ugly one) ordered him to be her chef after tasting his buns
 
That didn't sound right... lol!

And that dog dun care as he is so busy with getting his buns tasted that he didn't bother with clients' speech
 

End Transcript/

LOL! It was the funniest thing I heard in weeks!