It felt final, but in a good way, like a big-bang way of concluding this season of my lifea milestone. And as I sat there, I couldn’t help but wonder if I made the most of it. All 3 years of it. I can still remember the first time I stepped into that hall. It was orientation week and we were all in those silly scarves we were forced to wear, their way of tagging us as freshies. And we didn't enter that hall again, until yesterday. ‘Cept that this time, we were all in our robes and instead of that silly scarf, we proudly donned our faculty sash on our shoulders (just coz ours is in the nicest colour- platinum.fineeeee, silver. And so we get to laugh at the others in green and orange *sniggers* ). I wonder if it symbolizes something. (like you enter wearing some ugly scarf coz you is the newbie and not pro yet, and then you leave wearing a sash?? Get it? Fiiiine. Nvm.)

3 years. There were the ups and downs, the good times and the not so good ones. Did I make the most of it? I think I gave it my best shot (maybe not academically *upps?* hehe). Of course, there are the odd things that I wish had turned out slightly better, but then again, I won’t do it all any differently if it means not being able to be who I am today had I done it any other way.

The people we came across or worked with, the friends we made, and the few especially-special bonds forged. The impact different ones made, the footprints left, the memories etched- the essence of campus life. And summed up in words only used too often: it is definitely once in a lifetime.

Time really can fly, no? I can’t believe how vividly I still can recall my first day in campus. That nervous feeling, that lost look, that scrambling throng of people trying to hunt down familiar faces. Then came the dragging of feet to class and the last minute rush to complete assignments. Not to mention the late night (or super early morning) snacks as futile attempts at staying awake during the ‘crap-if-i-don’t-get-it-in-by-tonight-i-might-as-well-die-during-the-exam’ study sessions.

I can’t believe we are really finally old enough. I can’t believe I finally am wearing that suit I pictured and admired as a little girl. I can’t believe it’s all over. I can’t believe I can finally say I made it out alive! I can’t believe that graduating actually means so much to me, that it is really that big a deal. I can’t believe I’m finally here

These past 5 months, there were times when I wished that I was back in campus and I’m sure there will be more of those wishful thinking times to come. It doesn’t mean I’m not excited about the future, but I miss all those times spent (or more like having the time to spend) with the yous (both from and out of campus, and yesh, this includes the yous who are overseas) who made my uni-life one to cherish and remember. You all know who you are, THANK YOU!

Mum and Dad, I hope I made you guys proud in fact, I hope I made you all proud

Mwah!

(p/s: thanks yous who made it on tuesday too! and the yous for the wishes and gifts!)

back home, lightning = flashes of light way up in the sky.

here, they run in super scary super bright streaks!!! you can even make out where they strike *shudders again*

forgive the exaggeration. but i is scared of kl lightning.

and i've been trying to figure something out for my project, but i've been hitting dead ends for the past couple of hours. 

*i wanted to write something else here, but just didn't have the heart to*

i was only in the office for like one day last week. hehe. not an excuse i realise.."like what happened during the weeks before that then?" k, k, k, soweeeeeee!

revo was a blast!! though i wasnt feeling too great for the first half of it. still. didnt stop me from dancing! and praise God that it all turned out so well!! coz we changed the ending on the night before the actual performance day and never reali practiced the full dance on stage also.got la..a few very rushed times. but we got someone to video it for us and it actually looks good! :P hehehe

well, besides work, nearly every night leading up to the revo conference was spent in church either practising or helping out or in kuantan!!! k, that was just two days, but i was a part of the revo kuantan team!

my rotation with the supply/demand department is over, and i'm in marketing now~! got my assignment project (just coz it sounds more pro :D) earlier. i have my OWN projectttt~!!! *wheeee!!* it's basically all about market research and coming up with a marketing plan for a particular product for the whole of next year. i shall reveal what the product is if the finalised marketing plan includes most of my ideas :P so kiasu kan? but too bad la. coz i'm pretty sure you guys at the very least have heard about it before wan..cehwahhh..lol..unless you guys live in jungles or sumthing..(OI! UPM not jungle k, evil evil minds *tsktsk*)

nwys, this year's merdeka celebration efforts are like..so non-existent..? not like i'm super patriotic or anything, but still..maybe they're just too busy setting up stupid random road blocks? *oops? lalala..

and thanks to jasonthebanana, the song A Beautiful Mess is stuck in my head..jason mraz just has a way with words, just like someone else i know..but that's not the point :P the song just has this way of describing a girl. beautiful (duhh. the title.), honest, and real. oh, and that certain line i will sing one day :)    

and to you sayangs, personal post coming up, pwomisee!!

Pr Alex spoke on hope. coincidence? i think not.

it was quite a last minute decision but i thank God i made it to Passion Conference :) it was *AWESOME*

...

God, You are Lord.

You deserve no maybe's.

yes, i will wait.

country, sings all i want to say

lol.sounds like a song my parents would blog about (IF they had one la..mum actuali had one but that's another story)

and yes.me is emo.

nwys, when i reached my office this morning, i promised myself to blog a whole long emo entry at the end of the day. BUT. problem solved. no need liao. lol. so true that ppl mostly blog when they're emo. basically, i sort of snapped at my dad yesterday. not exactly snapped la, didnt say anything rude or snide nor was i sarcastic to him. just raised the tone of my voice (note the self-justification going on.lol). well, to cut a long story short, i thought he sounded angry over something superly-overly small and i got all defensive. then he raised his voice back, then we hung up after very loud 'goodbyes'. i knew i was wrong la, i mean i knew that he was just worried after all. sigh. i don't know why i felt offended by him either. bleehhh. and when you know you're wrong, er..the next thing to do is to apologize la right? sigh...but saying sorry can be so hard. the more important the person is, the harder it is to open your mouth wan lo. so i thought about it the whole afternoon at work. and the more you think about it, the more you don't know how to do it. it's easier to just say sorry on the spot without thinking (more than) twice. should have just done it when i realised i was wrong la.  (but of course, my ego being so big you until cant tell where it starts or ends, me being me, i didnt lo..)

until at night, when i really couldnt tahan dy, i came up with a brilliant idea of saying sorry. which was of course, over an sms. *bangsheadonwall* what more can i say. the chicken inside got the best of me. who in the world (besides yours truly) would apologize to his/her dad over AN SMS??? k fine. nvm. send dy then only rationale kicked in. so what to do a???-wait for reply la! but then, the chicken in me still didnt want to give up coz wait for reply also scared wo..so what did i do? i left my hp and went for a shower. 

when i came out, there were 2 replies from Daddy.

his first : no problem

the second: actually i was more concerned..

when i was reading the 2nd, i received a 3rd one from him. then the 4th and 5th AND 6th followed.

wahhhh..sakit hati mann..i'm not going to say what the text content said here.lol. but bottom line is he ended with an sms asking me to bear with him while he gets used to me being all grown up and a big girl now. coz bugging me is not something he could let go off just yet. blablablablabla. u know la, the words parents use sometimes. can make you think that dying a painful death would still be better than hearing them say all those things. i cried like crazy last night. it's been a while since i did something like that to my dad. or mum.

then i replied like gila banyak la..coz i lagi dont dare call him dy by then. lol. then he didnt reply at all. lagi la cry. cis.

then this morning ma emo gila lo. i emailed him to wish him good morning (still didnt dare call.haha!) then he got reply la..but like so formal..so sakit weihhh..i thought gone dy la..now our relationship apa jadi..emails and all pulak..sigh..he didnt merajuk..if merajuk i can still take..but this is..he was acting all hurt..

but then he called me after lunch and he sounded so normal.ISH.hahahhah.then got talk and all la.like NORMAL.

haha.so now i'm no longer emo.

lol.

lies, backstabbing, "shoe-polishing", and more lies.

people are not who they seem to be: one minute all nice to you, making you feel as if you're appreciated and that they really care, and then the next, they do something which contradicts them.

which sucks, coz even if they're still nice to you, you'll question their every move, their motives and well basically eveyrthing they say or do.

the mention of having values and integrity suddenly sounds so foreign here..something laughed at, something to earn yourself stares of disbelieve (or amusement or both) and a huge invisible label stamped across your forehead in caps: 'NAIVE'.

welcome to the real world?

office politics, happens everywhere.

just don't let me be dragged into it.

it could have been.

we could have made it.

but it all slipped away.

i thought we were dong fine.

i was even willing you to take it a little faster.

we were heading the right way.

until that sms.

the one that crushed my dreams.

now i'm left alone.

i'm cold.

and even if you did turn back,

you still can't change reality.

not even you could turn back time.

still.

we came so close.

so so close..

,,,????

ME.........AND THE HANDS OF THE CLOCK.

lol.

i was THIS close to going back at 6sharp k.

i was seriously staring at the clock dy k, reali willing it to just move faster and hit 6pm so i can go home.

then came samuel's sms saying he'll be late but will try to make it out by 6.30pm. all my hopes shattered. AaaaAAhhhhHHhhh~!!!! *sobs*

so close.hmph.

yesh. i was only talking about the clock.

haha.sorry la.i very the senang now.i was soooo looking forward to 6pm.i was so ready to go home liao, i mean, c'mon...IT'S FRIDAY!!!! siggghhhh..i was so prepared, and nearly all packed up dy. 

but i'm not reali all alone la..jenny is still here, but we're the only ones left and the aircond is so freaaaaaking cold k.u cant turn it down wan.it;s either on or off nia wan.cis.

this closeeeeeeee.siggghhh

now have to restart the whole proces to 6.30pm.

lol!

have a good weekend you ppls~!

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok 

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

Better In Time.Leona Lewis

*melovesyouall*

checked mail, went blog hopping, replied mails, more blogs. 

something cut and pasted.

something somebody wrote about herself and relationships: