testing...

testing...

the hare stops and teases the turtle...

"why do you keep on going even though you know you'll lose?"

'turtle replies in head and smiles...

"keep teasing me and you'll know why."

in full silence, one's wisdom is revealed...

but in silence, one shall fail to wield.

I'm supposed to be reviewing, but nooooo... here I am, making the most out of my short free time,  to blog.  'Stupid loudmouth brain gets too noisy most of the time.

Come to think of it, I might have been stalling/procrastinating for a whole decade already.  Why is it so?  Help me know, 'cause I don't.

At this moment in time, I can't say at all that I'm not motivated and inspired.  Saying that I am would sound like THE excuse.  But I really can't seem to understand... why is it oh so easy to lose focus?

Why do some people, enduring more than what you are given, don't lose sight of the goal?

Sometimes, I just end up wanting to believe, what some people find it so easy to say, that my purpose, was that of aid and supplication, for a chosen few, unknown to the university as UP Rockwell.  But if that were true, why am I in the university still? I could've just devised a non-profit organization, and ended up doin' the same darn thing.

No offense to the Rockwell peeps -- I'm just ranting/rambling again, for it's that time of the sem again, that makes me feel that I haven't done anything worthwhile again.  It's almost over, but am I, any closer to graduating?

Now that thought IS crushing.

On a lighter note, hooray for new techy gear. Yay. I don't deserve it, but I got it. Remember kids, anything you don't deserve but you still get, is called grace.

Sending all the love to my sleeping grace before I sign off...

"At what? The expense of others?"

He was a political science major, and during his time known in the academe, as an activist.  He was one of them; he was actually a pioneer of one of the famous filipino student organizations back then. He was a fellow iskolar ng bayan. Ranked with the likes of Lean, a famous student leader of the past.  A past that i wish i knew more about, but I can only feel whenever I pass through the living halls of the university.  A time when students accused of rebellion where literally dragged by their collars out of the campus by militarymen.  A dark era indeed.  Students who meet such fate are made to disappear; either by imprisonment or by inhuman acts you can think of.

He was one of them. Luckily, he was incarcerated, and not buried alive.  He knew the inside of a prison cell for 14 long years until he was released during the 1986 EDSA Revolt.  He was able to find work soon after, in a purchasing department of a certain company.  He found certain injustices within the workplace, regarding internal financial anomalies.  His principles, only held back by time in prison but never by reason, he comes up with a plan to create a worker's union. Unfortunately, his plans was squealed to the administration before he can even make it happen. And with a track record of rebellion behind him, he was sent to jail once again.  Years pass.

He has grown older and wiser. And has found humble ways to earn a living in this present time.  When all his contemporaries are either on the political mainstream already, or six feet under.  At one point, he got so depressed from all that has happened to him in the past. With no money to spend for plans to unwind, he wanders on for some time.  One day he finds himself with an egg sandwich and coke on hand, watching a normal day pass by in congress.  Old acquaintances turned politicians turn to him and ask about him and what he does for a living.

They were shocked to hear his replies, but all he can say was the truth anyhow. Something he had always believed worth being said, heard, and even fought for. Upon hearing him, the two of them offer him a position in their respective organizations.  He can simply smile and decline to their offers, knowing that they were once in the same battleground, fighting on the same side.

He thought to himself, 14 years of imprisonment, he and his principles did not falter, why would it, now?  He said he would rather remain to live this simple life, without the luxuries of life, than trample on the rights of others, and stain his principles.

It was not clear when particularly during that time, that his marriage to his wife was ended. But he would reminisce of time about his love for her, and how he braved the man-high floods of Tondo, just to be able to reach her.  And during that time, he had to bring a pair of screwdrivers with him.  Tondo, besides the floods, was known for it's gangs and street crimes.  He can only help but smile to a young man who lives in marikina who takes his love home all the way to paranaque.  He has remarried and has a son already on his way to college too.

I asked him his full name, but he smiled and asked me if it was okay if it remained unknown.  I said yes, and gave him my fare and a li'l extra, smiled and said it was okay and that it was an honor to have met him anyway.  I got off, closed the door, waved goodbye, and  walked to the mrt station smiling. Yes, he was my taxi driver home tonight.  In less than fifteen minutes of conversation, I can already tell he is a great man...

Dedicated to the taxi driver I never knew. And to my love I took home tonight.  She made an entry too about supermanong here.

Despite all my rage,

I'm still just a rat in a cage.

- Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins