Was also super blessed this conference because, .. is as if God is leading me back to my FIRST LOVE for Him. we got to sit at the 1st 2 rows in front!!! haha.. :) was amused. I enjoy seeing Mel's expression when she knows we are sitting in front rows! haha.. but.. i din know it make such a big difference. i still remember how every single sunday right after i accepted God in my heart, i always sit in the 2nd row!! and i always respond!!! be it during worship, preaching, altar call. it was really good... and esp when this song was sang.. everything by Tim Hughes. I was so touched,it  reminded me of every single day while i drive to school last time.. i would wake up and drive to school 1 hr earlier and just get my sketchbook out and draw what God show me, and just talk to HIm like a friend. i would on TIM HUGHES songs. i love his songs.. is always solely our heart to God song.. my fav are like If there's one thing, may the words of my mouth, never loose the wonder, redeemer, let my words be few, .. those truly touched my heart alot alot! it just gets your eyes LOCK ON GOD. and convict your heart to want HIM more than anything else. God really soften my heart so much.. words cannot express my gratitude for Him. His presence melt my heart again and again.. during the night worship, after when Ps Lailing spoke..i saw a vision where God took me to this "Secret place" where I had a dream many many years back.. this "destiny" place, that time in the place i still remember i was running so hard, i want to get there so fast, i tried running i felt is so slow, then i tried taking train, bus, every means of ways i want to get to "Destiny" and at the end, i ran and ran,even on the train i was running!! i was so tired, i saw a HUGE HUGE HAND COMING FROM THE sky towards me, GOd's hand..i hold on to it and i fell asleep, when i woke up, I WAS AT THE DESTINY, it was just a secret place playing my fav tall swing with God. And this time, the vision was at the same exact place,i was there playing kite with GOd.. ... i love it. i love the solely me and God moment. i love it... i love to just .... ENJOY EACH MOMENT WITH HIM. IS REALLY A DAY WITH HIM BETTER THAN A THOUSAND DAYS ELSEWHERE.

Everything- Tim hughes

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything

10 months of having puah shin le in the same house, it was amazing experience. haha.. :) i still remember the first sem, she is so funny drama.. how she always felt this course wasnt for her and how before exam, she is like wanting to die like that.. :) haha... she will cry for 2 hours at weird hours ..when people want to sleep. and how she would continue to talk and talk 2 hours oredi and when u close the door goodnight, she still continue stand outside the door and TALK. And how this sem was a different. she grew to take her own responsibility, although we don't know what the outcome is, but trusting God to have His way. she grew to be more self-less. haha.. she grew to be more caring and loving. Thank God for her. when i send her off yesterday, was ..really sad :'( TIME FLIES.. is as if is just yesterday i pick her up from airport shuttle bus.. and now... she is back home. But, 3 weeks very fast...!!!! :) I still want to thank God for her life...without her here, i think it will be super bored.. haha....... you've been a blessing dearest.... although you can be a pain in my ass, but........... I STILL LOVE YOU! :> remember to grow in the Lord even back home, HE IS OUR SOURCE of everything. can't wait to go home!

IS A PLACE WHERE YOU DON'T WANT TO TRADE ANYTHIGN FOR ..

SOAK MYSELF IN HIS PRESENCE..

THE 3 WORDS THAT CAN MELT HEARTS, TRANSFORM LIVES..

THE 3 WORDS THAT I WILL NEVEER EVER GET BORED HEARING...

THE 3 WORDS THAT IS SO POWERFUL..

IF YOU ALLOW THIS 3 WORDS TO COME IN THE MOST FRAGILE PART OF YOURS...(YOUR HEART)

YOU WILL NEVER... EVER BE THE SAME!!!!!!!!

GOD LOVES YOU.

GOD LOVES YOU.

GOD LOVES YOU.

GOD LOVES YOU.

Listen to the below.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps&feature=related

“The ultimate risk anyone ever take

is to LOVE, love anything & your heart will

Be wrung & possibly broken. If you want to make

Sure keeping it intact you must give it to no one,

Not even an animal, but God give it again and

Again…and again..until he is literally bleeding

From it all..” - C.S. Lewis -

a young man preparing to propose to his bride for a time now, ideas filled his minds, and in his heart, he just want the best for his bride, to tell her that he loves her, to tell her that he is willing to commit his life with her and so on. He put in alot of effort, he put in his heart for his bride. However, In the midst of all the preperation, someone actually took the bride to the place where he is going to propose.. the young man heart stopped. Disappointment? sadness? is like a balloon that burst in the air. Although the bride still have a good proposal, however, everything was different.

________________________________________________________________________

i understand how the young man felt.

________________________________________________________________________

sometimes i wonder if love exist, if just sincerely caring and wanting the best for the person, being really considerate, with a pure heart, caring, keep thinking to give cheerfuly/ to give it all to someone else, basically love for another individual truly exist. Because this is what i have been carrying in my heart for as long as i believe : L O V E. Not just to love your love ones, to be able to put in effort for your family, bf/gf, or best friend. BUT EVERYONE, every human possible. But that does not come in easy/possible because LOve comes from God. and so we need to draw that from God and we are the channel.

love is very amazing. that is why greatest is love, that is why is the greatest commandment of GOd, that is why LOVE NEVER FAILS. if we are able to truly give that LOVE to people, i really believe this world will be a better place. Not because the environment is good or peaceful, and there is no problem. But rather, within our human rship.. we are able to truly LOok beyond ourselves and see others first, want the best for others..and so on.

God is truly teaching me alot.. sometimes when i thought a wave has ended, another wave came out in surprise and knock me down.. and like a little girl, i looked up to God.. why Daddy? ..

Thomas camme with doubts. Did Christ turn him away?
Moses had his reservations. Did God tell him to go home?
Job had his struggles. Did God avoid him?
Paul had his hard times. DId God abandon him?
No. God never turns away the sincere heart. Tough questions don't stump God.
He invites our probing.

Go to God with our questions.. we may not find all the answers, but in finding God, you know the ONE who does.

stand up again. :) God is still a good God. That and nothing change anything about Him, because He stays the same, forever the same. I love You Daddy.

hehe.. well, is helping in church office.  i thought is so funny that i must write down. I have been jobless for close to 11 months now. So yesterday as i step in church office and volunteer 9 to 5pm, i was SO HAPPY. yes i was fasting - supposely, i will be tired. Not only that, i can't sleep the whole day i kept waking up 5-10minutes, because i was nervous and excited. that add more to the reason of being tired!

BUT..

no..i was working whole day, no lunch, no playing a fool..but just working.. the only time i stop is TOILET break. :) i am not tired, I WAS excited, HAPPY. FILLED WITH JOY.

mad. mad. mad.

i know.. i also don't know why lar.. but :) haha.. when i got back home after dinner, i k.o. ... i just ...collapse and sleep at 9pm. lol. and woke up at 8am. :)

yay..! :) i am happy i can go there once a week! :)

Anyway,ok ..i admit, i dun like Fasting. ok i can pray, but can someone else please do the fasting for me? :) wahaha.. i really can't fast. >< okok i admit, i dun have self-control.. ! >_< however, this time i ..i really want to do it. it was SO DIFFICULT. My mind kept thinking of FOOD. all kinds of food came to my mind... rojak most vivid. :)  yay, i am on track.

God never fail to show up again. He spoke to me as i pray and read the word.. yep Hebrew 6.. IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD TO LIE. that verse truly shine out at times like this.

The Certainty of God's Promise

 ¹³ When God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no-one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself,

    ¹⁴ saying, I will surely bless you and give you many descendants.

    ¹⁵ And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.

    ¹⁶ Men swear by someone greater than themselves, and the oath confirms what is said and puts an end to all argument.

    ¹⁷ Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath.

    ¹⁸ God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged.

    ¹⁹ We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain,

    ²⁰ where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest for ever, in the order of Melchizedek.

i love it.

Next time must aim to have a "rEAL wOODen piano" , (not keyboard, not electrical, digital etc piano) at home!! :) must must must. lalala...

Time flies.. approximately 18 more days, i will say bye bye to my youngest sis. i will  miss her. House will be super quiet without her presence. is ok, next few more weeks after her, i will be leaving on a jet plane too. :) yay..

miss daddy

miss mummy

miss abimalek

miss happy

miss kakak

miss home

miss food ;p

miss friends

miss kingsize bed

misssssssssssssssss............... :)

soon soon.. :) :) :) :) :) :)

nice story i ponder on.......

the famous J.S. Bach.. those who learn piano will defn know him! :) i remember since very young my piano teacher will want us to play his pieces. Once, when Bach was performing at the palace, his cello was tempered with. All the strings were broken except for the G string. Just when everyone was waiting for him to be embarassed. He played a beautiful melody  using only the G string. which is the very well known piece now "air on the G string" . The story tells me no matter how difficult life gets, You can still play out the most touching melody.

Be encourged ! :)

To think of Jesus in such a light is - well, it seems almost irreverent, doesn't it? It's not something we like to do' it's uncomfortable. It is much easier to keep the humanity out of the incarnation. Clearn the manure from around the manger. Wipe the sweat out of his eyes. Pretend he never snored or blew his nose or hit his thumb with hammer.

He's easier to stomach that way. There is something about keep him divine that keeps him distant, packaged, predictable.

But don't do it. For heaven's sake, dont. Let him be as human as he intended to be. Let him into the mire and muck of our world.

For only if we let him in can he pull us out.

I wish i can play keyboard like so many ones. I had my grade 8 cert but that does not meant anything. I strive to practice that same old pieces for exam, scales that i practice a thousand times. I do not remember ppracticing other pieces besides exam pieces. I remember how i hated piano.. because my teacher would scold us so loud and so often.. and my dad would drag me there by force. Many times of wanting to give up. Finally after so many years, i got my cert. "yay".

but...

when i play in a christian setting with those chords, it amazed me how i "cannot" play. I felt abit stupid.. and many times i tried to explain to different ones again and again -  is not i do not want to "Give u the thing you wanted".. is because "this is what i got".. and this is what i can give. I can improve, but is not a one night thing.

i felt helpless. and pray so hard each time before i practice..that somehow MIRACLE would take place and Lord, a sweet spirit and pure heart to face each practice.

amen.

Have you tried 10 months of being at home? Literally at home :) 

There’s something that is not the right time to disclose yet. But, yes I felt very trapped, it affected me a lot. Like..really a lot. Anyway, last Saturday, i had an awesome 2 hours walk. My dear, he decided that we should go for a walk, fresh, wind blow, nature kind of walk - not shopping mall. hehe.. well, it started with just a simple walk, then there's climbing, then there's story bridge.  My first time walking through the story bridge - the bridge is light up in sort of pink light bulbs all over (reminds me of the good thing a friend actually wrote before i came to Ipswich), then there's city, then there's city ferry, then there's home. I never thought i will finish any of these journey.. really, i kept complaining.. and i felt like "I CAN NEVER REACH THERE...I WILL NEVER REACH THERE..so lets turn back to our car please..." .. but my dear, he hold my hand and say "LETS BELIEVE WE CAN FINNISH THIS, WE CAN FINNISH THIS, You'll see in the end and know actually you can finish all these"!...

when i reach the bridge half way, as i look at the beautiful pink light, and the bridge.. the river beside, cars passing thru..i just ponder upon wow, i have walked so far.. looking back at where i started ..we have walked almost 1 hour ..i ponder upon my life story, i really do not know where i am going, but all i need is to CONTINUE TO WALK, STEP BY STEP, HAVING FAITH, BELIEVING IN THE ONE THAT HOLDS MY FUTURE. As i was sitting on city ferry (goodness i love it okay, u can actually go up and feel the breeze, look at the beautiful sight, super romantic for couples) :) Smiling.. and very content of this 2 hours journey with bus11.

I am very encouraged by the story of Joseph in the bible, where he had a dream of being a leader over his brothers, and what happen is that he was sold to slavery, then he was seduce by potiphar’s wife and was thrown in the dungeon, all together 13 years of sufferings.. and this is the favourite part, when he was in the dungeon with the cupbearer and baker of the king, both of them had a dream..A DREAM. Imagine how Joseph would felt? “yea right a dream, I once had a dream too..guess where my dream brought me? I was sold to slave by MY BROTHERS, thrown to dungeon when I do the right thing..leave me alone..”.. but Joseph, he faithfully love God and he said “do not interpretation belongs to God? Tell me your dream”..this is amazing. 13 years.. and everything was turn around and Joseph’s dream came true.

Be encouraged, GOD IS FAITHFUL !!!!

Feed and remain on HIS FAITHFULNESS J