and i hope..

...you made me feel safe.

bow. 

hindi ko alam bakit nagkakaganito.

hindi na talaga...kahit na kanino...

hindi ako pwede sa relasyon.

ok lang. 

i was just exaggerating. my memory box was destroyed by termites.

i really got upset. i need to write down everything that i can still remember that is on that box so i would not eventually forget...(oa?) haha anyway..hmm

1) i have this letter from a gradeschool classmate, ms.paragas. It was a sweet note, it was just a paper ripped from a gradeschool notebook. anyway, the highlights of the letter is about being friends with "us". she says that she wants to be-friend  me but then she doesn't have barbies and she likes basketball and everyone wants volleyball.

2) A note from april silva, telling me how i have changed, i am not the friend that she knew. (i can still remember what happened, it was when she teams up with paola liwag against me and my bestfriend abi. it was because we think they were flirting with the grade 5 boys in the other section. her mom even went to school to straighten things out. haha) it was written in a cardboard shaped star. anyway, we became friends after all those petty fights.

3) letters from tabitha eunice mijares fernan. (passed on notes during class hours, birthday letters, backstabing letters and snail mails when we decided to move to tagaytay) that was a lot of letters! >:S

4) 143 letters from ex boyfriends in gradeschool. mark arabit and eo marcos. there were even breakup letters. (i remember the first card given by my first bf... it says "merry christmas 14344444444444444) ahhahah

5) letters from different guys in highschool, i really cherished that, because it was highschool! it was when i think the guy i like is the only guy in the world.

6) monthsary cards, valentines, poems and problem letters from ex. :D

7) Certificates,-student teacher, rap, mr and ms rc, best actress in a play..etc

8) College letters from friends and exes..madami? ahhaha

9) even the birthday video by my friends was eaten by the termites!!!!!!!

10) slam book, yearly dedication by friends and teachers, pictures.

11) oh,, i even have "welcome to the world" letters. 

goodbye to those remembrance. :(

owell, gotta move on. let go. the memories that i truly cherish is kept in my heart no matter how many notes, gifts, pictures are destroyed. 

there is a first time for everything and it is my first time to feel this way:

to be in love, to fall, to show who I am, to be accepted, to spend each day together, to laugh hard at the stupidest things, to cry for fear, to cry for happiness, to be surprised, to feel happy, to thank God each night, to ask God to take care of us, to ask God questions, to look at the world in a different view, to spend much without counting, to sacrifice, to make pa-cute, to trust, to take care of the trust given to me, to have faith in love, to face hardships together, to be happy, to get fat because of happiness,

to fall real hard,

to fall for a friend,

to fall for the person i should not be falling with,

(but i have fallen,i love this person.)

to take the risk...

and it's worth the risk...

mahirap maging tao...

mahirap maging bata...

mahirap maging anak...

mahirap maging kaibigan...

mahirap maging babae....

mahirap maging mabaet...

mahirap magkaroon ng kultura...

mahirap maging Kristyano...

mahirap mabuhay....

mahirap mag mahal.....

....lalo na kung bawal.... 

pero sabi masarap ang bawal... 

...masaya ang masarap....

...masaya magmahal...

mahirapan na sa buhay....

dahil

mas mahirap

mawala

ang

sarap

ng

pagmamahal.....

at

mas

mahirap

pag

siya 'y

nawala

wla na kong pakialam sa mundo... 

ayoko lang magfeeling...

:boggled: