sleep

time was when everything was right
when faces appeared in azure skies
hope was as real as the air
time was the color of her smile

but the night has come, it's time to sleep
and let the willows gently weep

home is a place where you can hide
a shelter away from other's eyes
a sanctuary in the ground
where a measure of love can be found
home is where you return to die

but night has come, it's time to rest
and try to recall happiness

close your eyes, dam the tears
wallow in the comfort of your dreams
look again, nothing remains
and you rest upon your memories
to cease the pain
what a shame it's over now

the moment of truth has arrived
when you come to terms with your lies
the neon dreams have died away
and all that's left are shades of grey
the day is gone, here comes the night
and your moment has arrived
you know that it's all over now

home, take me home
home, take me home

A friend shared this lyrics..after reading it I was like "oh I could relate this to the current situation of our country...haha..:)

Actually its my 1yr n 3 months at work.. will update this again when I could think more of what I had learned..haha..

the first few months was really hard..or should I stay really tough..

1]Trusted everyone in terms of my work. but as time passed I have learn that not everyone is really trusted in my line of work. there are lots of "ahas"  or should I say evils around...U should always be careful.

2] there are indeed many kinds of people u meet..most of them are nice ones, but much of them are rude, arrogant, and some are really hard to deal with..others are uneducated so they act like they are inside the public market when inquiring or dealing with u.

3]People who are really rich doesn't boast of what they own or how much their credit limit are (talking about credit card limit in applying for a line) but the "pretending to be rich" people are too boastful about how much they have and would even say that they own this or that..

4] People who inquire about requirements are lazy in terms of reading it by themselves or should I say that they refuse to read and wanted us customer service ppl to read for them. most of them don't even know how to fill up the application form or know how to read the billing statement and ended up irate.

5] Subscribers always assume on something they don't know and they would end up embarrased after being irate since at the end, they would shut up after knowing what's wrong with their fone or with their account.

6] Beware of D.O.M's, maniacs and other creatures who visits the center just to see u and would ask stupid questions for them to simply talk to u.

7] some good prospects u meet (for lifetime partners) are either taken, married or at times super torpe.. Sometimes I would ask myself " where was I when this guy wasn't taken yet?" haha..kapal ko tlaga..

8] Not all of ur officemates are being true in terms of being ur friends, some are just pretending to be good to u and at the same time good to ur enemies.

9] If u feel the client/ officer is wrong in terms of accusing u on something...answer back...never hold back in doing so..because the more u keep silent the more they will make more issues about u. U can always be nice but when tough times come..learn to answer back especially when u feel u are right and they are wrong.. (I know u might be afraid that the officer will fire u out..but at least u have fought for what is right...come on..don't be such a loser!)

10] always be patient especially in dealing with difficult people..just rant after the client exits the center.

11] learn to unwind w/ friends..

12] give all ur attention to what u are doing to avoid mistakes..but never feel too stressed if u commit mistakes..after all..even the officers have big mistakes that ends up with u being irated by ur client.

13] learn to voice out what u want or what is right for people to respect u...don't mind them if they think that ur too epal to do so..

14] befriend everyone at work but always be careful of who u trust just to avoid gossips...

But......

Just awhile ago..I suddenly realized that it did struck me hard.. you know why? its because the guy I like called me... at first I thought he was just calling me just to ask something or will be informing me about his business trip to Davao again.. But I was wrong..it was first about the people he plans to invite on our group for his wedding then we were talking about his wedding then he suddenly had mentioned that Tomorrow is his engagement! I was a bit devastated...mixed emotions for me as well as for him since he joked " kidnapin nyo na lang ako kasi ayoko pumunta sa engagement ko" it somewhat had given me a bit or should a say a piece of hope that their might be even just (.00000000 times one million chance) that we can be together soon and he will call off his wedding... but reality came again when I was thinking "HEY! its too late" the engagement is tomorrow! oh well..its heart breaking..devastating..tragic..whatever u call it..it breaks my heart that I am invited on his wedding..we still have unfinished business to talk about and to finish for all of what I am feeling to be clear. I spoiled the chance I got when he was here for two days for business trip and he simply came to visit and spend time with me..too bad we hadn't had the time to talk about it..

OH well..its too late...

by the way..it was funny that one time out of nowhere I was so used of not thinking of him or anything but I had this strong feeling that one day he will be back here..to surprise me..it was a clear picture of him visiting me here again..hahaha..I guess I should stop dreaming..hahaha... 

Lately mejo wala ako sa mood and mejo palaban ako sa office.dahil napag sabihan nanaman ako ng bading namin na officer na nde daw ok trabaho ko..parang ako lang ung sinisisi nila dahil nde kami naka hit ng quota last month (MAY 2008), parang ako lang ang nde gumagawa ng paraan.. nde lang nila nakkta ung mga gnagawa ko sa office..puro lang ako ang sinisisi kasi shempre ako ung nsa frontline..sobrang unfair..sobrang kala mo sino sila..e yang baklang yan pa naman ung pnaka palpak sa lahat ng palpak..nakakasawa na makipag away..nakakasawa na rin magkaroon ng ganitong pakiramdam..ngunit andto na ito..parang ngayon lang ata ako nagka freedom ulit mag voice out kung ano man gusto ko sabihin, parang ngayon ko lang ulit nabuksan ang mata ko sa katotohanan na puro lang sila plastik..na wala akong kaibigan sa lahat sa office..sobrang feel ko wala tlaga akong kakampi..alam ko naman meron sila sarili nilang trabaho..ang akin lang sana tinutulungan rin nila ako..parang pag nde nagkaquota ako na lang lagi ung sinisisi kasi ako ung kumukuha ng applications..pero teka...kasalanan ko ba kung approved na ang mga clients ko at wala silang panahion na kunin agad ang kanilang mga telepono?? parang tanga ang mga tao sa office..nagsasawa na rin ako..cguro few more months na lang aalis na rin ako..nde rin naman ok ang sweldo ko eh..parang manila style pa rin ako dto..ako gumagastos sa pagkain ko..sa transpo ko..un nga lang at the end of the day pag-uwi ko andto family ko kaya natitiis ko! hayyyy..ang hirap mabuhay! sana mamatay na lang silang lahat! sawang sawa na ako!!!

As the guide is instructing me on what to do..I was somehow ready..but after seeing him ready to open the gate for me to swing to the other again I was really scared.. but at the same time thinking twice whether to continue this or to simply quit. At some point it was time for me to try it since I can somehow describe myself as a "daredevil" and really into something new at least once in a while..Need to be adventorous, its time to enjoy our Eden tour. The guide was a bit patient..and some other people where going up waitng for their turn.

Thinking of other people, wasting their time is not my thing, so I decided to let the guide untangle the rope that he has tied on my harness, I let the next one in line go first.. It took me around 10 more minutes and a lot of cheering from the people waiting downstairs, I instantly had an audience which were cheering me like : "go Natz..go Natz..U can do it!.." and a lot of convincing from the guide that led me to try the Sky Rider for once! It changed my mind to try riding the Sky rider after hearing the guide telling me that the youngest who had tried riding the sky rider was 2 years old and the oldest was a 70+ yr old lady who was really heavy.

So there I was..getting ready to go..I closed my eyes as I begin to swing but opened it again in the process of the rope swinging me to the other end. The view was breathtaking! the weather was cold..everything was really cool..and of course! At last,
I HAVE CONQUERED MY FEAR OF HEIGHTS!! :)

The experience was really fun....The feeling of conquering something ur really afraid of was great..It makes me feel happy and at the same time proud of myself!

(though I was sweating really hard after my ride..) it still feels good! :)

=> Life is a series of decisions and our decisions are based on the knowledge that we have. We make better decisions if we have better information. Make the word of God our final authority, applying it to our lives in every decision we make. 

=> Never let anyone make you feel that you don't deserve what you want. You are worthy of our own happiness. What they say doesn't change anything. it doesn't change you unless you let it.

=> Never search ur happiness in others, it will juz make u feel alone,rather search it in urself, it will make u feel happy even if u're left alone. 

=> Happiness cant be found at the end of the road. It is truly experienced along the way. So, dont take for granted each moment of your life. Find reasons to be happy each day.

=> True strength of character is not calculated by how well we manage to carry some sizeable load under challenging conditions, but it is perhaps better measured by our ability to remain kind and light spirited, even when we are sure that we can't bear the weight of one more ounce of life.

=> It's not what people do to us that hurts us, its our response to what they do that hurts us. Your life is a result of ur own decisions-not ur conditions.

=> In life I have realized that grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Life is too short to be unhapy. So, LAUGH whenever you can, APOLOGIZE when you should nad let go of what you can't change. LOVE deep and FORGIVE quick. Give everything and have no regrets. Take the GOOD with the BAD. Smile even when your sad. LEARN from your mistakes. People CHANGE, things go WRONG but remember LIFE GOES ON SO LIVE IT WELL.. BE HAPPY!

 => Some wont apreciate what you say or do. But as long as you speak honestly from the heart and let them see who you really are, you'll be fine. This is not a perfect world; this is not a perfect life. So live life the way you want 'coz no matter what you do, people would never run out of something to say against you.

=> There are battles you have to fight in silence because you know that speaking up, saying something or doing someting will just make you lose...

 => Only character endures. Nothing speaks louder or more powerfully than a life if integrity. Nothing stands the test like solid character. Character will always win the day. As Horace Greeley wrote: "Fame is vapour, popularity an accident, riches take wing, and only character endures." There is no more eloquent and effective defense that a life lived continually and consistently in integrity. It possesses invincible power to silence your standerers.

After reading this I am feeling what the author is letting his readers feel.. the big question "WHAT IF?" came to my mind again.. Such a long story about this topic.. il be posting my story when i'm ready to share it.. :) 

The One that got away.