DISSECTING THE PRE-CENTRAL GYRUS

EVIL!!!

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 07:29:13 +0000

I'm not a bad person.

Au contraire, mon dieu, I feel I'm too nice sometimes. But my job requires that I be "not too nice" most of the time, or else we'd be losing money. I'd be way better off saying I'm a bad person, but reflecting back on my all-too-short life, I haven't really done anything in the magnitude of Adolph Eichmann or Usama bin Laden. Not even Doctor Evil-ly evil. Heck, not even Mini-Me evil. Well, I did torture several mice a few months back, but it was payback for them shitting on my food. Besides, is food revenge really evil-ly enough?

I think I suck at being mean. Even though I'm scowling most of the time, this usually means I'm engrossed in thought or balancing an account mentally.

Anyway, the whole point of this stupid entry is to see what traits would I have if I made a character in The Sims 3 based on myself. If I was being realistic, the following would be my traits:

Loser

Slob

Mooch

Unlucky

Loner

...Dear God. I'm a poster child for depressed persons everywhere!

Blowing Up The Outside World

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:22:46 +0000

Nothing seems to kill me no matter how hard I try
Nothing is closing my eyes
Nothing can beat me down for your pain or delight

And nothing seems to break me no matter how hard I fall

Nothing can break me at all
Not one for giving up though not invincible

I know

I've given everything I need
I'd give you everything I own
I'd give in if it could at least be ours alone
I've given everything I could
To blow it to hell and gone
Burrow down in and
Blow up the outside world

Someone tried to tell me something
Dont let the world get you down
Nothing will do me in before I do myself
So save it for your own and the ones you can help

Want to make it understood
Wanting though I never would
Trying though I know its wrong
Blowing it to hell and gone
Wishing though I never could
Blow up the outside world

... Are you listening?

State of Mind

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:42:13 +0000

Something has to change.
Un-deniable dilemma.
Boredom's not a burden
Anyone should bear.

Constant over stimulation numbs me
But I wouldn't want you
Any other way.

Just, not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I said, I don't want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Finger deep within the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Relax, turn around and take my hand.

I can help you change
Tired moments into pleasure.
Say the word and we'll be
Well upon our way.

Blend and balance
Pain and comfort
Deep within you
Till you will not want me any other way.

But, it's not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I said, I don't want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Knuckle deep inside the borderline.
This may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to.
Relax. Slip away.

Something kinda sad about
the way that things have come to be.
Desensitized to everything.
What became of subtlety?

How can it mean anything to me
If I really don't feel anything at all?

I'll keep digging till,
I feel something.

Elbow deep inside the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Shoulder deep within the borderline.
Relax. Turn around and take my hand.

Fear of Flying 2

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 15:50:37 +0000

Here's some "Good Advice":

Before boarding an international or local flight, take time out to watch National Geographic Channel's Air Crash Investigation, which airs weekly on tuesdays, I think.

Oh, what horror!!!

...Makes you think twice about getting on that old-as-dirt Fokker propeller airplane and getting seated near the tail, doesn't it? They seat the "old, infirm and essentially disposable" people nearest the tail end - it's one of the portions of the plane that get destroyed first.

I'm never flying on an airplane again.

Let The Bodies Hit The Floor!

Thu, 28 May 2009 12:38:54 +0000

Damn my serotonin levels. I feel really "bleh" as I type this. I don't think it was the drinking binge last night - I woke up with nary a hangover. Even some servings of chocolate didn't do me any good, although those managed to give my mother a headache. I should probably give myself a coffee enema just to up my mood, or listen to Drowning Pool's "Bodies" to put me in that "aggressive killing frenzy" state of mind but why bother?

Which reminds me - "Why do I keep hitting myself in the head with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop".

Ha ha. I'm so funny I kill myself.

On a more "somber" note, where have all the witty people in Tabulas gone to? I used to love writing here partly because I enjoy commenting on some of the blogs I read, and reading other people's reactions to those comments. But lately there has been very little activity on my friends' pages that's worth commenting about (Yeah, I know I can be rude and condescending most of the time, but that's beside the point).

Maybe it's high time to switch blog sites?

Busy Busy

Fri, 15 May 2009 15:31:00 +0000

Driver, supply officer, gofer, pharmacist and supervisor all rolled into one. That's basically been me since May started and it probably won't be anything else for the next few months, but finally we have regained full control of the hospital. Now I can finally walk around without anybody giving me the evil eye, and everybody seems to be nicer. Now that's really sucking up to me.

Some problems have a way of solving themselves, it was only a matter of time before their hubris became their downfall.

He he he. My revenge is forthcoming, you fuckers. Everybody gets their turn, and I'm REALLY going to enjoy this. Nice and slow.

For several days now, I've been hearing the same song over and over again in my head...

"And I need you now somehow

And I need you now somehow

Open Fire on the needs designed on my knees for you

Open Fire on my knees desire what I need for you..."

In case you were wondering, it's from Ana's Song by Silverchair.

Hmmm. I don't really know any Ana's. Not spelled like that anyway. *winks*

Watching

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:08:31 +0000

Excerpt from Rorschach's Journal...

"Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No."

How true.

Save us.

But who will?

And Then Some!

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 10:30:26 +0000

I can now eat hotdogs with ketchup on them. All without getting queasy.

AMAZING!

God's Middle Child

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 13:02:42 +0000

I've stopped trying to make things better. Better to just give it all up because you just can't win. Life is never fair, and it lies and cheats and steals.

Karmic Justice is nothing but a myth. This life is all we have, and there is nothing else after. Lie and cheat and steal while you can. While you're still alive. It's the only way to get ahead.

How Tyler saw it was that getting God's attention for being bad was better than getting no attention at all. Maybe because God's hate is better than His indifference. If you could be either God's worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?

We are God's middle children, according to Tyler Durden, with no special place in history and no special attention.

Unless we get God's attention, we have no hope of damnation or redemption.

Which is worse, hell or nothing?

Only if we're caught and punished can we be saved.

"Burn the Louvre," the mechanic says, "and wipe your ass with the Mona Lisa. This way at least, God would know our names."

- From Fight Club, p.141

Could you find it in your heart

To make this go away

And let me rest in pieces?

Oblligatory Holiday Post

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 07:52:08 +0000

Christmases have always been pretty weird for me. I do get the holiday blues from time to time but I doesn't really bother me that much. I usually keep myself occupied by cooking up some pasta dish and gorging myself while watching a movie. In fact, that's probably how I'll spend tonight. Gorging myself. *drools ala Homer* Pasta...

Anyways, spending the holidays alone isn't really new for me. Which probably puts me right up there in the list of lonely pathetic losers. It's not that I'd spend it any differently mind you. My work keeps me from enjoying ANY kind of holiday season. Even if I was at home I'd probably sleep through the night and just wake up in the morning and open all the presents underneath the Christmas tree. Wheee! New Toys! Just kidding. The past 7 or 8 Christmases(probably more) I've all spent away from home. I can't even remember spending a Christmas at home for the past decade, actually.

So, what's the point of this entire post?

WAG NA KAYONG MAG-DUKTOR, MAG NURSING NA LANG KAYO! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Merry Christmas Everyone.