Super Miss Goody-Two-Shoes

From earth into Eternity

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 08:35:59 +0000

With love there are no defenses, and one may be hurt deeply, again and again. And then, as we truly love, the power and majesty and splendor of God come upon us, and this is not always gentle or easy to take. The splendor of God has little in common with a Sunday School picnic, or the parlor game of love. When we allow ourselves to love specifically, fully and consciously, conceretely and in depth, then we are at the very edge of Love itself, of the mystical splendor God. From many sources we are told that the mystical splendor of God will first burn us down, melt away all that does not belong to us, shear us of everything that we thought necessary for life, destroy everything that is not pure gold in us. This is not an easy experience. But it is the most important one in life, and probably the only human expereince that is eternal and cannot be lost.

That's How You Know

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:16:23 +0000

"They'll find their own way to tell you, with the little things they'll do."

Many thanks to my loving family, to my wonderful friends, especially from Ateneo, BLD, and Candy (ABC?), and to the sweetest boyfriend in the world, for sharing with me yesterday the celebration of 21 beautiful years! :)

My 10 secret dream jobs (in no particular order)

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 05:35:00 +0000

1. Travel agent
“Hello, sorry I’ll catch you later, I’m late for my flight to MYKONOS.” Hahaha.

2. Editor-in-chief of Real Simple magazine
Sana may local version ng magazine na ito sa Philippines.

3. National Geographic photographer
Hindi ako born to be wild dahil ayoko ng assignments on animal life. Leave that to Animal Planet. Gusto ko yung assignments that allow me to soak up the culture of other nations.

4. Make-up artist
Para unlimited supply of make-up from L’oreal/shu/mac at para non-issue na din kung ga’no kamahal ang mga ito

5. Member of the Hillsong United Band
If magiging singer lang ako, siyempre dapat sa Hillsong na. *channeling Brooke Fraser* *channeling Brooke Fraser*

6. Interior designer
Since grade school, ginugupit ko na yung mga gusto kong pictures from the home magazines that my parents buy. Tapos gagawa ako ng inspiration boards with color and texture swatches.

7. Broadcast journalist
My course-mate who interviewed successful Comm Ateneans told me, “Pia bongga ka. Yung mga kasunod mo sa phonebook ko sila Pia Arcangel at Pia Hontiveros. You think it’s a sign?” Sabi ko, “It’s a sign!!!”

8. Teacher
My grandmother used to teach Science and my grandfather used to teach History. I have an uncle who left a high-paying job and decided to teach Literature at San Beda. As for me, I want to teach Art or English someday.

9. Stepford Wife.
This is related to Dream Job #2. Hello Martha Stewart. Hello Bree Van de Kamp.

10. Jesuit priest.
I’m really serious. Had I been a man, I think priesthood is the vocation for me. And dahil sobrang amazed lang ako talaga sa Jesuits at kay St. Ignatius, I guess if I have to choose a religious order, sa Society of Jesus ako sasama.

It's one of those days that I needed to be reminded of this

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 13:27:03 +0000

Reflecting on Luke 15 and quoting Nouwen once again.

SEARCHING WHERE IT CANNOT BE FOUND

"At issue here is the question: 'To whom do I belong? To God or to the world?' Many of my daily preoccupations suggest that I belong more to the world than to God. A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me. It takes very little to raise me up or thrust me down. Often I am like a small boat on the ocean, completely at the mercy of its waves. All the time and energy I spend in keeping some kind of balance and preventing myself from being tipped over and drowning shows that my life is mostly a struggle for survival: not a holy struggle, but an anxious struggle resulting from the mistaken idea that it is the world that defines me.

As long as I keep running about asking: 'Do you love me? Do you really love me?' I give all power to the voices of the world and put myself in bondage because the world is filled with 'ifs.' The world says: 'Yes I love you if you are good-looking, intelligent, and wealthy. I love you if you have a good education, a good job, and good connections. I love you if you produce much, sell much, and buy much.' There are endless 'ifs' hidden in the world's love. These 'ifs' enslave me, since it is impossible to respond adequately to all of them. The world's love is and always be conditional. As long as I keep looking for my true self in the world of conditional love, I will remain 'hooked' to the world--trying, failing, and trying again. It is a world that fosters addictions because what it offers cannot satisfy the deepest cravings of my heart.

I am the prodigal son every time I search for unconditional love where it cannot be found. Why do I keep ignoring the place of true love and persist in looking for it elsewhere? Why do I keep leaving home where I am called the child of God, the Beloved of my Father? I am constantly surprised at how I keep taking the gifts God has given me--my health, my intellectual and emotional gifts--and keep using them to impress people, receive affirmation and praise, and compete for rewards, instead of developing them for the glory of God. Yes, I often carry them off to a 'distant country' and put them in the service of an exploiting world that does not know their true value. It's almost as if I want to prove myself and to my world that I do not need God's love, that I can make a life on my own, that I want to be fully independent. Beneath it all is the great rebellion, the radical 'No' to the Father's love, the unspoken curse: 'I wish you were dead.' The prodigal son's 'No' reflects Adam's original rebellion: his rejection of God in whose lvoe we are created by and by whose love we are sustained. It is the rebellion that places me outside the garden, out of reach of the tree of life. It is the rebellion that makes me dissipate myself in a 'distant country.' "

"This life to declare Your promise."

Tue, 27 May 2008 11:14:39 +0000

We worshipped with Hillsong United last night.

I'd have to say that only a few events can render me speechless. And what happened last night is one of those few that top the list. It was just too POWERFUL to be described.

Too powerful that I don't even know how to begin...

So, last night, Araneta was 100% packed! Even the seats behind the stage and even the seats at the Gen Ad area were full.

Everyone was dancing. Everyone was jumping. Everyone was singing. Everyone was raising their hands in worship. What a sight it was! And it made me realize that I was there--worshipping with the Body of Christ itself!

There's a line in their song "Hosanna" that goes, "I see a generation, rising up to take their place." Last night was just the full concretization of that.

Here are the songs they played. (I think I might've forgotten a few.) I tried to arrange them in their correct sequence and here's the best I can do. It's actually hard to keep track especially when you're really overwhelmed and moved with every song. :)

The Time Has Come
Break Free
Take It All
Miracles Can Happen (In This Place?) -->I forgot the title
The Stand
Mighty to Save
Hosanna
All of the Above
Lead Me to the Cross
All I Need is You
Look to You
Saviour King
Shout Unto God
From the Inside Out
My Future Decided
Salvation is Here
None But Jesus
What the World Will Never Take
Tell the World
One Way (Encore)
Solution (Encore)

When I heard the intro of "Hosanna", ayan na...Ayan na ang waterworks a.k.a. "tears". "From the Inside Out" was the Lord-I'm-Yours-Forever song of the night. Ibang klase!

What I really loved about the whole event was that it was worship talaga. Parang hindi nga dapat 'concert' ang tawag dun. Kasi diba pag concert, may distinction between 'performer' and 'audience' at ang focus ay nasa performer. But the band was simply there to lead us to worship God with all our hearts as one.

There was even one point when Joel Houston knelt, which to me was profoundly humbling. Doesn't this make us ask ourselves when was the last time we SURRENDERED COMPLETELY to God? When was the last time we really knelt?

Let us prove that this is not just an emotional hype that lasts overnight. What we got from Araneta, we don't keep to ourselves. I pray that we all may continue living our lives as passionately as how we worshipped last night. :) To Him be the glory now and forever!

Lord of Lords - Brooke Fraser

Now unto the Lamb who sits on the throne
Be glory and honor and praise
Call all the sinners to join in the song
Worship and praise Him, the Lord of Lords

Click click for the photos.

Next in line

Mon, 26 May 2008 07:55:31 +0000

I did a little tweaking with my Multiply layout, and voila, it now looks like this. It looks so simple and clean, which I absolutely love. It gave me some headache while I experimented with hovering and there are also few glitches which (sadly) I don't know how to fix. (Anyone willing to lend me some help?) In any case, I felt quite proud of my work!

Click click to check it out.

This blog has been dormant for the longest time and I'm actually planning to resurrect it. But first, it needs some major revamp too. I want it to look like this but since I am no HTML Master, I think this one will do.

What are you waiting for? :)

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:03:29 +0000

With much glee and elation, I invite everyone to get a copy of the May '08 issue of Candy!

Flip to pages 48-51 to check out this year's Summer Special, which I co-write with the amazing Pearl Ganzon. :)

I remembered the time Pearl and I did this last February. I was at my wits' ends because it was nearing the finals week for Seniors. It just feels sooo rewarding to see something you've really put your heart into FINALLY PUBLISHED. :)

On why it is necessary to grapple with fear

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 09:00:43 +0000

It's been said that of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears.

That's why it's necessary to never block them off or try to forget about them or accept them as truths. Acknowledge them. Tremble at the thought. Cry over being chicken. Embrace your fears and own them. Give it five minutes or five days if need be, then decide once and for all to face them. Don't give up now -- you've come a long way. Giving up will only equate to sheer foolishness. Face your fears because that's the only way you can conquer them.

Never say "No" to a challenge, to any challenge at all, may it be a walk in an unfamiliar park or mastering a unicycle; eating cake or walking on hot coal. Avoiding a challenge also equates to sheer folly. Saying "No" to the bumpy road up ahead is like saying "Yes" to death.

We were made to face our fears and take on challenges. We were fashioned for motivation, strength and courage. In other words, we were created to conquer and overcome.

That's why blocking off our fears is pointless, as well as avoiding challenges, because God's promise is always victory, a victory that can only be attained when we say "Yes". Saying "Yes" to the challenge means saying "Yes" to God, and saying "Yes" to God means saying "Yes" to a life filled to the brim.

Live life to the full! (John 10:10)

In the book of Joshua, the Israelites are about to enter into the land of Canaan.To do that they had to cross the river of Jordan. The crossing was not an ordinary one, God stopped the river of Jordan from flowing and allowed the priest to stand in the middle of the river bed with the ark of the covenant as the Israelites walked passe. This even was an obvious one to me, that God wanted His people to remember.

Joshua 4:5-7 goes:

"Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ' What do these stones mean?' tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord.when it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever." '

Just like when David fought Goliath, he did it without fear because he knew : "the Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver from the hand of this Philistine."(1 Samuel 17). When David said 'yes' to protect his sheep from the bear or lion, it makes him stonger and gives him the strength which divinely comes from the Lord to say 'yes' to Saul to face Goliath. Every 'yes' builds us stronger and firm in our faith in the Lord.

When God appeared to Moses in the form of a burning bush and when He commanded him to go back to Egypt to set the Israelites free, Moses hesitated to obey God's order. But then eventually, he said, "Yes". And the mere act of saying "yes" to God made all the difference. By merely saying "yes," the Exodus was made possible.

When God told Abraham to give up his son as a living sacrifice, Abraham immediately obeyed, no but's, no if's. He said "yes" to the Lord right then and there. By saying "yes," he proved himself that he really is God's servant. The mere act of saying "yes" to God made all the difference. By merely saying "yes," the Lord made Abraham the Father of All Nations.

When Jesus was at Gethsemane before His crucifixion, fear agonized Him. But fear did not prevail. "My soul has become troubled, and what shall I say, 'Father, save Me from this hour?' But for Thy purpose, I came to this hour. Father glorify Thy name." (John 12:27-28) Jesus said "Yes" to God, even if it would cost Him His precious life. And that has made ALL the difference.

Whenever I complain that "everything is just so hard, I think about Jesus (we all know He wasn't some oppressed loser), that he sufferred the evil blow worse than anybody, and had every right to mope about the fact that the very people He loved (that's us) dealt Him the death blow via sin. But what did He do? He didn't ditch the cause because "everything was just so hard" or because the whole world was annoying. In fact, he descended to the dead and basically terrorized the enemy before He rose again on the third day, putting an end to sin and death. That's a winner!

Whether you're truly the underdog and victim in your situation, or if you're merely the well-off, but "perenially oppressed" dramatist, stay the course. Don't give up the fight. You are already a victor because there was once an oppressed Man who refused to mope about it, but did something about it. Live in His victory. Stay the course!

"In all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:37

God always promises victory, never defeat. In every "Yes" we utter, in every form of surrender, in every moment we become obedient, victory is at hand.

So here's one big "Yes, Lord!"

[This was my pre-YLSS 24 reflection, written three years ago. I just found the need to post this because last night, during the invocation mass, I suddenly got cold feet when it dawned on me how near the YLSS is.]

The Lord is my Shepherd, there is nothing I lack.

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 16:09:27 +0000

Light in the Darkness
We walk in a "ravine as dark as death" (Psalm 23:4), and still we have nothing to fear because God is at our side: God's staff and crook are there to soothe us (see Psalm 23:4). This is not just a consoling idea. It is an experience of the heart that we can trust.

Our lives are full of suffering, pain, disillusions, losses and grief, but they are also marked by visions of the coming of the Son of Man "like lightning striking in the east and flashing far into west" (Matthew 24:27). These moments in which we see clearly, hear loudly, and feel deeply that God is with us on the journey make us shine as a light into the darkness. Jesus says, "You are the light of the world. Your light must shine in people's sight, so that, seeing your good works, they may give praise to your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:14-16).

---Henri Nouwen

I'm like a giddy little girl

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:25:13 +0000