escribo. amo. vivo.

How to Survive a Horror Movie

Mon, 05 May 2008 05:31:06 +0000

I watched Asylum this morning with my kid brother - and for some time, Allen - before Allen and I left for the shop.

It made me think of how characters in horror flicks often - make that almost always - commit the same DEADLY mistakes.

So I thought, if I were in a horror movie, I'd make sure NOT to do any of the following:

In no particular order
NEVER ----

1) Look back.
They're always, always behind you. Even if you hear them, they're still there.

2) Think it's not real.
It is. People who doubt, joke, scoff, or worse, bully people who do believe that something unnatural's going on is usually the first to die.

3) Take off my clothes.
For any reason! They often die in the first few minutes of the movie.

4) Assume IT is dead, whatever IT may be.
If you're going to kill it, give it your best shot. If you're going to check if it's dead, assume that it's not.

5) Enter any premise that people say it's haunted.
If people say it's haunted, it is. There's this blog I stumbled into - without help from Stumble Upon though - that features the same topic and he writes how one of Eddie Murphy's movie characters say something like 'why can't white people just leave the house? if they say it's haunted then it's haunted".

6) Separate.
The more isn't just merrier, it's safer, too. Never venture into a house, forest, school, graveyard, church or just any place ALONE. You're practically begging to be killed.

7) Panic.
Easiest way to get killed.

8) Have hangups about the past.
Supernatural villains tend to have a way of using it against you.

9) Answer the phone.
Sometimes you have to - like when your friend's trying to warn you about the killer (mortal or otherwise) inside your house - but more often than not (Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Ringu, and 10,504 more), the message really isn't to your advantage to hear.

10) Be curious.
Cats are not the only ones who die because of curiosity. Being curious is what makes you discover things best left unknown. Don't be curious, specifically, about locked doors, dusty old books, strange creatures, eerie-looking places, and just about anything that looks curious.

11) Stay put when lights start flickering.
It's a dead giveaway for supernatural presence.

12) Stay in a house whose history you're unaware of.
And the worst transgressors of this rule would probably be the folks in Amityville. They already knew of what happened, but they still didn't mind!

Of course, being a war machine like Resident Evil's Alice, resourceful like Lara Croft, ruthless like Alien's Ellen Ripley, or just being a plain Ghostbuster would help a lot, but then again where's the fun in that?

Now, in Area 51, a similar list was created and here are some of my favorites:

Never say that you'll be right back because you won't be.

Always make sure that your car has a fresh battery so it will start immediately in times of crisis.

Turn the bloody lights on!

Big breasts and blonde hair are a death wish.

If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a good reason. Take the hint and stay away.

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

Always check the back seat of your car.

If on a stormy night, you find a window open which you thought was previously closed, do not close it. It may be your only way out when whatever has come in through it is chasing you.

If your friend turns into a demon and then suddenly turns back to normal, kill them because they are not normal!

Go ahead and slap the screaming hysterical girl, she will be the one to distract everyone when there really is danger.

Nothing is ever over if it is still night-time.

Take heed of all warnings from animals and children. They usually know more than you do.

Never run to the top floor of any building if you are being chased by a maniac/monster. Your only way out will be to jump.

Do not take *anything* from the dead.

Stay away from certain geographical locations. Such as: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog, the Bermuda Triangle or any small town in Maine.

Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, lawnmowers, butane torches, smoldering irons, band saws or any (possibly deathly) device made from deceased companions.

Always be nice to the shy, quiet, unpopular girl in school.

When battling zombies, always sever their head or shoot them in the brain. If you they still want to eat you after that, just surrender. There's no hope for you anyway.

Never say "Who's there?" It's a death wish.

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And to round things off nicely, here are a couple of books I saw in Amazon that would go well with this topic:

How to Survive a Horror Movie: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills

Chapters include:
How to Survive a Night of Babysitting
How to Convince the Skeptical Local Sheriff
How to Perform an Exorcism
How to Tell If You've Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movie
How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead
- Written by Mel Brooks' son and SNL staff writer Max Brooks.

World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War
-still from the same author (Brooks)

How to Build a Robot Army: Tips on Defending Planet Earth Against Alien Invaders, Ninjas, and Zombies
- written by Daniel H. Wilson. He has another book - How to Survive a Robot Uprising.

The Monster Hunter's Handbook: The Ultimate Guide to Saving Mankind from Vampires, Zombies, Hellhounds, and Other Mythical Beasts
- it's fully illustrated, too!

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Any tips / thoughts to contribute?

Why Do You Want Me to Get Mad?

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 07:34:44 +0000

Just because you're poor doesn't excuse you from being good.

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Just because I've sworn off from being angry doesn't mean you can do everything to provoke me.

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Sometimes, these people make me so mad that I forget the most important lesson in life. That life's too short to waste on emotions like anger and revenge. I just want to see the goodness in people. But they make it so hard to do that.

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Good thing I'm going to watch Dora later with my family. Hopefully, being in the presence of hundreds of kids would remind me about the nicer things in life.

Can't Wait for Tuesday

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 01:45:38 +0000

Happy Birthday to my lola! She's turning 71 this year (or is it just seventy?)! :)

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I am just soooo happy that Allen's my boyfriend. I mean, I know our interests don't always jive -

I like reading, he's into cars and it's not vice versa.

I love computers but they hate me. He loves computers and they love him back.

I love learning languages, he loves learning sports...

But one thing we do have in common is our love for dancing.

When we watched Step Up 2: The Streets, we were over the moon about it! Till now, it's the movie's OST that we play over and over inside the car. And finally, our long-planned (but never have been realized till now) dancing lessons had finally pushed through. Together with my cousin, Allen and I enrolled for street dance classes.

To dance again! Ah, that's so good! I really, really miss dancing! I hate the performing part of it, but I love, love the act of dancing itself. :) I hope there are only three of us in the class and no one else signs up for the schedule we chose. That way, I'll be free from inhibitions and get to enjoy myself.

But I'm sure I will. Not only do I get to dance but I also get to dance with the people I know and care about and have fun with. Oh, oh, to get to dance with Allen! Dream come true! Haha

Okay, really have to stop blogging. Gotta work, byeeee!

let's do it!

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 05:54:13 +0000

It's weird. It's like I have a different set of writing standards for Filipino readers and another one for native English speakers. My voice is stronger with regard to the former but my writing technique with the latter seems better. There must be a compromise.

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So here's a promise to myself. If I'm serious about having writing as a career - it's a frightening decision since writing isn't what you'd call a "normal" job then I owe it to myself to give it my best. After Holy Week, I promise to do everything I can to attain my writing goals ASAP. Wait, let's make it specific. I hope to finish Wing It On and Love Bites (this title's gonna change because I just found out how cliched it is) as well as Evren by the end of the year. Maybe even Furry Trouble? If I finish even FT then I did my job. :) Oh wait, let's try finishing Viver as well. So let's see...

Wing It On

Love Bites

Evren

Furry Trouble

Viver

Five novels to complete this year. I think I can do it.... Aja aja! Jia you! Gambatte! And....I forgot what I should say in Spanish. hehe

I Know I'm Spoiled

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 08:11:30 +0000

I'm spoiled by my family, siblings, boyfriend, and God. But I'm not a brat. :)

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God, I don't understand. Did I willingly misconstrue his words? But he told me I had two more!!! Is it wrong to use it when it was there for me to use? Please help me tomorrow with this, please?

break from writing...wait...what break?

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 11:27:45 +0000

So, I'm pretty sure I'll be watching Neyo...but I'm not yet sure if I'll be watching on the 29th or March 1st. I'm hoping it's the former - a couple of my friends will be watching on the same date and I'm hoping I can see them. :) Let's hope. C'mon, Ahia, gimme tix for the 29th! Hahaha

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I'm like 90% sure of graduating. The 10% is all my fault. But really, I'm doing my best to rectify things. Oh, yeah, the FA grade I'm worrying about for one of my Theo subjects has been resolved already. Yippee! :) Thank You, God!

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Hay. I so miss blogging. Wish I had more time for it.

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Ria got to read Puppy Love na rin. She says she cried at the "revelation scene". Aww. Mmm, what else? She also gave me two of her favorite lines. Aww. I just wish it would get published. Wahahahaha. Desperada is my middle name.

early sunday blogging

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 01:38:27 +0000

So last night, I went to eat out at Rai Rai Ken (MOA) with Allen and his family. During these occasions, I do my best to blend in the background and busy myself with eating. Or, I talk with Allen's shoti and shobe and yeah, Allen himself. The older ones, I try not to draw their attention. I doubt they'd enjoy talking about anime and stuff - which is basically what I enjoy talking about with Allen's younger siblings.

Yesterday, the older ones were talking about their Bohol trip this Holy Week. I got invited to that but of course I can't come. I have my own vacation with my family, after all.

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I'm still waiting for SB to tell me their final decision on those MSs I've submitted. Hay...so scary.

TWILIGHT

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 00:50:37 +0000

They say that it's the next Harry Potter. The second book in the series, New Moon, stayed #1 in the NY Times Bestsellers for thirty weeks! Thirty weeks! And one of the books - I forgot which, even though there's just three so far hehe - actually managed to dislodge Harry Potter from the top.

Does it deserve its reputation?

Hell, yeah! Personally, this is so much better than Harry Potter and that's just because I love romance books. And whatever way you look at it, it's impossible to ignore that Twilight - even if it has to do with vampires and werewolves - is essentially a love story.

Twilight, the first book, came out in 2005 and was a runaway hit. The story of how Stephenie Meyer got her book published is very inspiring (So inspiring I had to write a new series hehe). I don't think I could be like her, though. She's way, way up there already - virtually in the same league as JK Rowling. I'm still after being someone like Mary Janice Davidson. That one, I think, is attainable.

But anyway, I digress. The succeeding books are New Moon and Eclipse. Breaking Dawn will be out August. Hay. Can't wait.

So what's the story?

Basically, there's Isabella - but call her Bella - Swan, transferring from sunny Phoenix (just the way she likes it) to Forks, a small town suffering from rainy weather, and living with her dad, who's the chief police officer in town.

In Forks High, she gets to meet Edward Cullen. Gorgeous and pale beyond belief. He and his extraordinarily beautiful siblings form a unique clique in school.

Bella unexpectedly gets close to Edward...so much so that she finds out he's a vampire.

I'll write a more detailed review in Multiply. But believe me when I say you can't miss this series! :)

S for School and Saiunkoku Monogatari

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 10:26:47 +0000

Ah, school, school. When will I be truly free of you? I have another attendance problem. I think my teacher personally doesn't have a problem with me but he has to set standards and since he has kicked out another student with problems similar to mine, he feels he's obliged to kick me out, too...ah, damn!

So unfair!

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One thing that's keeping me sane nowadays is the newest anime I'm in love in - I think it's quite safe to say this early on that it's just as good as Rurouni Kenshin. It's very similar to Fushigi Yuugi, only better because it has more mature content. And the politics! Ah, the intrigue! I'm so in love with it, wahaha! You know how the royals plotted against each other in Princess Hours? I loved it! And the strategic warfare! Oh, I'm in heaven! Haha, it may sound like I'm exaggerating but I'm not. :) I think it's in the writer in me.

So anyway, the anime that I'm talking about is SAIUNKOKU MONOGATARI. It's based on a series of novels - yeah, novels, not manga, but it was adapted for manga as well and currently has 2 tankoban (volumes). There are currently 12 novels - a bit of research shows that even till book 12, there's no mention about Shuurei marrying anyone else, not even my beloved Ryuuki.

Siiiiiiiiiiiigh. I really want to include political elements in one of my stories. I can't do it with Puppy Love though. The way Lyccans are, they're more inclined to kill their enemies straight away rather than play mind games. Can't do it with Souris either since they're supposed to descend from angels...And that leaves me with the Caros. Oh, yeah. I think it would be perfect for Caros because they live for subtlety and deception. Maybe unconsciously, I've based my Caros on the snake people Nyssans of David Eddings' Belgariad? Mmmm....

But...back to Sainkoku Monogatari.

I hope by the time the series ends, Ryuuki and Shuurei will be married to each other. I hope Seiran and Kuyou will also be able to find their respective life partners. :)

Ah, bliss. That's how it is with me when I find a worthy story to watch.

Kissing Ass

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 06:41:59 +0000

I knew it was too easy. I knew it.

Just when I thought I'm off the hook, I found out that there's still one more problem to fix before I can completely ensure that I'll graduate this March. I have to get my excuse letter for absences approved before Friday or I'm dead meat!!!

Now, getting my excuse letter approved isn't really much trouble...or rather, it shouldn't be if only our dean isn't such...I don't know what's the right word for her but she has serious attitude problems. That's bad, especially when you consider the fact she's a NUN.

Siiiigh. I hate kissing ass, but I have to admit - I'm good at it. Figuratively speaking. I only use it when I'm trying to butter up teachers so they won't notice my attendance record - and I do so only as a last resort. I promise.

Dear God, please forgive me for I will sin again by inveigling my way to survival. I'm sorry. But I'm passing! My grades are even better than those who attend school everyday! So please please please stay with me, God, please?