+++++

Last saturday i attended the first day of a six week photography workshop. it's worth 8k but i'm in it for free. i'm thankful and all but...my camera and i are in a sort of "cool off" at the moment. before saturday, i havent even looked at my camera since my birthday (last September). yes, i'm lucky to be in this for free, with a great teacher and all, but i feel like it's being...i dunno. imposed on me. like im forced to LOVE LOVE LOVE photography but in reality, photography and I need to take a break, especially after the whole thesis thing.

i dunno. the more i think about it, the less enthusiastic i am about picking up my camera and shoot-shoot-shooting.

+++++

I had/have asthma. I struck Sunday night and got worse yesterday. I had to buy a new inhaler. I didn't go to work today because of it. I missed two events today. and now have a pile of articles to do. and now. repeat the first line.

"the longer i stay in this job, the more i realize that...this. is. NOT. for. me."

+++++

The longer i stay here(in the Philippines), the more i realize that all i want to do is just get out. England plans are seriously pushing through. no idea when yet....but soon. target: 2015. let me know if you want to go. 

+++++

school is waaaaay more fun than the working world. the only good thing about it is that i get paid. not enough though. seriously. seriously.

You Really Gotta Hold On Me - She and Him

I don't like you but I love you
Seems that I'm always thinking of you
Oh ho ho, you treat me badly
I love you madly, you've really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me

Baby, I don't want you but I need you
Don't want to kiss you but I need to
Oh ho ho, you do me wrong now
My love is strong now, you've really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me

Baby, I love you and all I want you to do
Is just hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me
Tighter, tighter

I want to leave you, don't want to stay here
Don't want to spend another day here
Oh ho ho, I want to split now
I just can quit now, you've really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me

Baby, I love you and all I want you to do
Is just hold me, please, hold me, squeeze, hold me, hold me

You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me

i'm just saying.

+++++

When I was a kid, I used to love dressing up for Halloween. I had a mermaid costume, and angel costume, a princess costume, a pirate costume...but my favorite one was my dinosaur costume. it was a full body suit, green, with little paws on the end. it had purple spots and "spikes" all the way down its back to its tail. it had a hood too. I had it when i was about 5 or 6. I used to love being a dinosaur. but then i outgrew the costume and it went to my cousin Matthew.

I wish I could wear my costume again. that would rock.

+++++

I want to disappear. maybe I will. I dunno when. but I probably will. No people, no internet, no phone calls. maybe texting, but not frequent enough. and just sleep. maybe the pain will go away. 

-Mumm-Ra

+++++

I need the soundtrack. please?

+++++

I trying this new thing where I try not to invest too much into anything. the "Summer effect". well...it's not really a new thing. I'm going back to it. doesn't hurt as much.

Summer (on love): "you don't believe that do you?"

yeah, don't think I do. I don't know.

+++++
she's got you high and you dont even know yet.

Summer: You weren't wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me.

- 500 Days of Summer

and I'm running out of clothes.

+++++

Chanel movie screening gala tomorrow. last night = BIG night with celebrities and shit haha. photo caption duty = running around in heels = PAIN to the nth level. *whimper*

+++++

Fashion week next week. big event for Pond's on tuesday. call time is...7am at MOA. attire: cocktail chic (what the hell is that!) in either red or pink. goddem. must. invest. in. clothes. and. shoes.

+++++

I'm enjoying myself but it's really tiring, running around events. I mean, this is still pretty *light* cause i'm new. Today, I went to a meeting at Unilever with my boss, got back to the office around lunch time, scanned some stuff for Fashion week, started an article for 5cm, finished an article for Pond's fashion week, filed some stuff then ran off to the Chanel event. guuuuuuh, but it's fun. bring it ON.

i bought my first "basic black dress" tonight. it's for the Chanel event tomorrow. yes, i'm attending a Chanel event.

i never ever thought I'd be saying that. ever. ever. ever. eeeeeeh. i'm nervous.

+++++

I had a great weekend. sort of.

+++++

i almost gave up. almost. but you showed me it was worth it. thanks.

+++++

500 Days of Summer is heartbreaking. but lovely. Zooey Deschanel is love.

I can travel

faster than light

so can you

the speed of thought

the only trouble

is at destinations

our thought balloons

are coated invisible

no one there sees us

and we can’t get out

to be real or present

phone and videophone

are almost worse

we don’t see a journey

but stay in our space

just talking and joking

with those we reach

but can never touch

the nothing that can hurt us

how lovely and terrible

and lonely is this

"Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you
That I'm in love with you"

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Just like heaven