mmmm... =)

get the eff out of my face.

no, really. get the eff out of my face.

i hate you all.

People always ask me: "Why do you want to go home?"

This is why.

Here's "My guide to Consulting Speak":

• Networking
  • This word is HUGE in the consulting world and you hear it ALL OVER THE PLACE. Technically it means that "you're building relationships" that can "form connections" and "open doors". I like to think of it as "be nice to everyone at every opportunity, cause you never know who's ass you'll be kissing in the future"
• Enchanced Client Experience
  • They tell me this means "providing excellent service to our client that elevates their experience with us". Translated as, "Don't let them think that our exorbitant fees are a waste of money".
• Develop Your Personal Brand
  • Develop your expertise in an area and mold yourself as a consultant that people recognize and are impressed by. A.K.A: We hire a lot of people so if you don't stand out you're screwed.
• Utilizing existing framework
  • Using our experience to produce a unique and successful strategy. Or: Just put a bunch of stuff together that we did in the past and make it look pretty.
• Synergy
  • Mutual cooperation that will bring about amazing results. I think it means, "It basically means teamwork, but if we name it synergy we can get the client to pay more for it"

There's a lot more consulting speak, but i'll update when i can translate more of the lingo. Haha.

Consulting might be the right world for me because it's basically like debating: "We don't really know anything but we can make it seem like we do by just talking a lot of BS". 

p.s. i know this is the randomest place to do this, but a shout-out to Lau Ting Yi who in my 5 years in Michigan has never failed to send me a CNY card, even though it's a pain-in-the-ass to ask for my address every year. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! i'm homesick pretty much all the effing time, so the card means A LOT. THANKS!!

And this is my new favorite quote:

"live simply, modestly and authentically"

-P. Dave

1. I really dislike selfish people. People who have no care and concern for the world around them really get under my skin. These people are so wrapped up in their own little lives that they are blissfully unaware of social, political and economic issues around them. To be honest people like this kind of piss me off. In my opinion, if you're going be in this world, you have to live IN it not ON it.


2. Rude people bother me. Immensely. There is absolutely no reason to be rude. Ever. 


3. Ignorance is another trait that is wholly unnecessary.  Ignorant people who make stupid remarks which leads me to the next group of people I have problems with...


4. ... the racists. Why anyone would think their race is superior, or think that other races are inferior just boggles my mind. This is one thing that really bothers me about Malaysians actually, that everyone looks at race. Whether or not you think the system is unfair, racism is just poison that will gradually degrade society into bestiality. And if you want to comment on this entry and say "well, THEY'RE racist", I want to invite you to point the finger at yourself because right at that moment YOU are being racist. Just because other people are being idiots, does not mean you have to be one. 


5. I regret that I never learned how to play an instrument. I enjoy music a lot so my complete lack of talent in its production is depressing. 


6. I think I am a closet emo. Haha. This one actually amuses me because I always make fun of emo people.
   


7. I wish I wrote better. The ability to write well has always stumbled me because I really enjoy reading a well composed article / blog entry. I would love to have the talent to easily convey my thoughts and emotions in a very articulate yet uncomplicated way.
   


8. "Sublime" is my favorite word. Hands down. Mmmm.


9. I refuse to spell "colour" as "color". The "u" is an essential component of that word.
   


10. My hands need to be bigger. Small hands are very inconvenient for opening the jumbo sized jars filled with gastronomic delights.
    


11. I feel that if I were a guy I would be a pilot. Don't ask me why, I just feel it in my bones. That or a professional soccer player.
    


12. My favorite movie of all time, I have recently declared, is "Beauty and the Beast". Oh jeez. Love, perfection, beauty and sacrifice all nicely wrapped up in a animated-Disney-fairytale-musical. Heaven in a DVD case.
    


13. If I were any other nationality it would be British. With a worn down Chelsea jersey and fish-and-chip oil drenched fingers I would proudly wave the Union Jack and sing "God save the Queen". Proudly too.
    


14. I think Michael Phelps is a complete and utter douche bag. 


15. Even though significant others are very important, people who always ditch their friends for their boyfriends immediately fall to the bottom of my acquaintance list.


16. Players (relationship players, not athletes)  should be castrated/slapped in the face, depending on the offender's gender.
    


17. The humble "chap fan" (a.k.a. rice with any possible side-dish-known-to-man) should be elevated to a national heritage. That and iced Milo. Drools...
    


18. I wish I learned how to how to read chinese. I would love to know what I'm eating in restaurants and not just go by a picture-pointing ordering method. 


19. In terms of beer, I think that Killian's is "da bomb diggity" as my friends would say.


20. One of the most irritating sounds in the world is the sound of fingernails on a keyboard. Oh my Lord, just trim those nails.


21. I am a very harsh, blunt person. I hope that people reciprocate that. I'm also very stubborn.
    


22. Movies and music are my not-so-secret passions.


23. My idea of a perfect day involves going to a movie in the morning, a great lunch and dinner, followed by an incredible jazz bar at night. All by myself.
    


24. I am an incurable introvert. Someone might need to save me from myself soon.
    


25. Punctuality is my pet peeve. I hate (I want to repeat HATE for emphasis) lateness. It shows a complete lack of respect for the person who is actually on time. 

I really like the smell of someone coming out of the shower. ooo.

who is Mike Riley?

Mike Riley is the jackass that killed 500,000 Chelsea fans dream of a win against Liverpool.

i hate Mike Riley.

The good, the bad and the mangled

By Finlo Rohrer and Katie Fraser BBC News Magazine

The release of Valkyrie and The Reader have brought to mind a recurring problem for moviemakers and television producers - should actors stick to their own accents?

In Valkyrie, the story of Claus von Stauffenberg's attempt to kill Hitler and topple the Nazi regime, Tom Cruise sounds like Tom Cruise.

Not Tom Cruise with a slight German accent, but the usual vaguely East Coast-tinged Cruise of Mission: Impossible and Top Gun.

Tom Cruise is so well-known that if he started doing an 'Allo 'Allo accent, it would have everyone in hysterics James King Film critic Mark Kermode on accents

And at the same time, there's The Reader, another film set in Germany and tackling Nazism, which goes the other way. David Kross, the young German actor, does his lines in English with a German accent, as do Kate Winslet and Ralph Fiennes.

As the Anglophone film industry appears disinclined to ever stop making movies about the 1939-1945 period, it's a dilemma that is going to continue coming up.

Take Sam Peckinpah's 1977 epic on the horrors of the Eastern Front, Cross of Iron. A classic war movie it is. A classic example of coherent accents it is not.

Of the main characters, James Coburn as the hero, Steiner, attempts a German accent while James Mason as Colonel Brandt wanders in and out of one, and David Warner as Captain Kiesel speaks mostly in his best stage Received Pronunciation with only the occasional German tinged word. Maximilian Schell, being Austrian, keeps rather more consistently to his accent, as the baddie Stransky. All in all it's a bit of an accent mess.

So it's perhaps not surprising that the Valkyrie's no-funny-voices rule has its supporters.

"Tom Cruise is so well-known that if he started doing an 'Allo 'Allo accent, it would have everyone in hysterics," says film critic James King. "In Valkyrie it works because the opening [dialogue is] in German [even Tom Cruise] and it's done smoothly."

Kate Winslet does a German accent - only Germans know if it is any good

It can sometimes seem a natural thing in a period piece. In Roland Joffe's The Mission, the stars play Spanish parts with their own accents, Robert De Niro American and Jeremy Irons English.

The same tactic can be taken in television. When the BBC recently adapted Swedish author Henning Mankell's Wallander detective novels, the major cast members were British and speaking with British accents. Perhaps the producers were aware of the danger that if not done properly, a difficult and little-done accent could soon degenerate into something like the Swedish chef out of the Muppets.

And where accents are done now, they tend to be low-key affairs.

"These days when people put on a foreign accent they make them slightly less pronounced, not like in the days of Gary Oldman with his full Russian accent as the villain in Air Force One," says King.

Baltimore Brits

Oldman, despite his alarming Russian, has of course made a career out of playing American roles, and doing various accents convincingly. Peter Sellers was another master of accents. In Dr Strangelove he does a comedy German, an uppercrust Englishman and a mild-mannered American, all in the same film.

And how many of those who have recently become fans of the Baltimore cop show The Wire would have guessed that Russell "Stringer" Bell was from Hackney or that the Baltimore twang of Jimmy McNulty was produced by Dominic West, educated at Eton.

SOME RULES OF ACCENTS English RP is similar to Roman Bad Germans are played by Germans Brits must play Americans well Sean Connery does not do accents

And perhaps the greatest accents of recent times were furnished by Americans Gwyneth Paltrow and Renee Zellweger who did upper-middle class English as well as any Englishwoman.

But when things go bad they can go really bad. Everybody remembers Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins, but at least that was a comedy. How much worse was Forest Whittaker's frankly ludicrous British accent in The Crying Game, Russell Crowe attempting an English City boy in A Good Year or Sean Connery in most of everything he was ever in?

But context is everything. When Johnny Depp did Cockney in Jack the Ripper movie From Hell he was lambasted. When he did the same accent, again modelled on Keith Richards, to comic effect in Pirates of the Caribbean, it was regarded as amusing. In a good way.

It's all down to your expectations of what you're watching.

Evocation of place

"When you watch Russian plays or Greek tragedies they don't bother with an accent," says Sally Hague, dialect coach at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts. "There's a convention that it's set around the characters or the action and not the place. Directors think that using dialect would be a distraction.

"But sometimes an accent would be central to evoking a place. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof - it's all about the language of the Deep South that Tennessee Williams was using when he wrote it. It can be perverse not trying to do that accent. Irvine Welsh and Trainspotting. It couldn't have been done without the dialect."

Marlon Brando did Mexican for Viva Zapata

And of course in some movies, accents and casting are offering a subtle code. In some war movies from days of yore, Americans play the heroes, English actors do the more acceptable Germans and the truly bad Germans are played by real Germans.

In some films about the Roman Empire or with other classical or period settings, English accents can be used by Hollywood to convey gravitas.

In Gladiator for instance, Roman-ness can only be properly conveyed by an English accent. Witness Joaquin Phoenix's rather alarming effort as Emperor Commodus. One might surmise that an English accent represents the "Old World" in a more general sense to an American viewer. But still, Tony Curtis, despite his Bronx accent, played a string of roles in ancient dramas.

In many American films the baddie is English or English accented. But you can also get a film like Die Hard, where Alan Rickman does a German accent for a double dose of baddie-ness.

Then you have an actor like Art Malik, born in Pakistan, but raised in England, doing a string of Arab terrorist baddies.

It all tests the audience's ability to suspend their disbelief.

"Films like Die Hard have had their day - no-one blinked an eye. Now people would think of those as out of place," says King.

Dick Van Dyke has never lived down his cockney accent in Mary Poppins

There have been classic films where actors have not just put on accents but even "blacked up" to play exotic parts. We can still relish a viewing of Lawrence of Arabia because we know it comes from 1962, although we may find Omar Sharif [an Egyptian] as Sherif Ali a lot more convincing than Alec Guinness as Prince Faisal.

In Elia Kazan's Viva Zapata from 1952, Marlon Brando (born Nebraska, US) seems more ardent in his Mexican accent than Anthony Quinn (born Chihuahua, Mexico). Quinn got the Oscar.

But perhaps we care less about how convincing an accent is than we do about the quality of the film.

We are happy for Americans and Brits to do foreign voices in the right settings and to do each other, as long as it's well, but show us a rubbish film and we'll zero in on the bad accent.

And if you really want authenticity, why not just take the Mel Gibson route and do it all in Aramaic with subtitles.

i hate it when people owe me (large) sums of money.