~. madame butterfly .~

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 18:56:28 +0000

the groom and the bride

reception at the Messila

mah gurls!

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 11:28:18 +0000

Watched Sex & the City (movie) and I really can't help but find the Carrie inside me again. It struck me so much since ganun na ganun din ang nangyari samen ni Francis davars? Few days before our first wedding, he backed off. Then, later, after all the troubles and the emotional tortures, we realized that it is meant to be and so, we did it! And I don't want it any other way...

IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 07:19:02 +0000

My entire life is changing & I am changing with it. I think now is the time to grow up! :)

Thu, 15 May 2008 17:46:38 +0000

WOW!!! It's been a year since my last entry! Andame ng nangyari sa buhay ko since then.

1. I got married!
2. I lost more than 20 lbs.!!!
3. I stopped smoking!
4. I went out of the country!
5. I got a harder job!

Whew! What year!!!!

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 05:49:17 +0000

Sa sobrang lungkot ko, di ko na magawang mag-blog....haaaayyyy...

I'm goin' through changes...

Tue, 01 May 2007 12:49:11 +0000

2005

2006

2007

may pinag-kaiba b? wala... malandi paren!

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 12:51:56 +0000

I've been so busy lately bumming around that I forgot that I have a blog to update or that I love to share my thoughts with everybody. I didnâ??t realize that I could actually not leave our house for 3 straights days! Duh! I'm soooo lame! Anyweyz, figured out a couple of things while bumming around. These are things that I'd like to do:

1. trust my skin more;

2. know my fashion;

3. be patient;

4. be less angry;

5. be less emotional & more practical;

6. forgive him;

7. fall in love with him again;

8. live in the present & for the future, forget the past;

9. be more sympathetic of mom;

10. learn how to NOT retaliate

Change! Change! Change! Saket sa ulo! But I really want to have a better life this year and so if what it takes is to for me to get down on my knees, I'll do it! And I'll just raise it all up to the Lord. Amen.

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 15:19:11 +0000

How do we know if our decisions are right? How do we know which to give up & which to pursue? Sabi ko dati I’m not a risk-taker. Now, I’m very much willing to change pero na-realize ko din why it was easier for me to just stay where I am. Staying still could be dull and boring but at least I don’t have to know how hard it is to live. The realities of life could sometimes be so cruel.

I took a big leap yesterday from my usual laid back life. Had an interview and this is the first after about a year & a half. This is quite something kasi it’s for Kuwait. I got in which is somewhat a good news. I thanked God for an answered prayer. For months, Francis & I have been hoping na I could go to Kuwait so we could be together and start a family there. Well…it’s all been good except for one thing. My parents doesn’t approve of it. My Papa is as usual not feeling it right. He doesn’t approve of anything I do & I don’t think he’ll ever be. He said I’ve got a good head on my shoulders but I don’t use it well. Worst is, I actually believe him. Not that I’m blaming anybody for my short-comings pero sometimes, I think that’s the reason why it’s so hard for me to actually get out of my shell. He never believed in me. Si Mama….haaaayyyy…ewan ko ba! Well she doesn’t want me to go ‘coz she’s afraid of being alone. She gets so clingy nowadays ‘coz she’s always sick. Actually, it’s really nothing much, nagiging overly emotional lang sya. I think it comes with age. She feels like nobody understands her, nobody‘s there for her and me leaving would mean that she doesn’t have anybody to hang on to. I know masama loob nya saken ‘coz she thinks that I’m being so insensitive about what’s happening to her but I am not. I just want to be strong for her.

Right now, my mind refuses to care about what my father thinks. I’ve had this long confidence & self-trust battle inside me because of him but today, I just don’t want him to have any say about this decision. But I love my mom a lot. And as much as she says that I don’t understand her, I really do. I just don’t want to let her see my vulnerabilities. I don’t want her to see me cry ‘coz I know lalu syang manghihina. Earlier I saw her crying and I know it’s because of me but what am I to do? As much as I don’t want to be away from her and not be able to take care of her, I want to be happy & I want to be with Francis & I want to know how it feels like to be abroad. Am I being selfish? I really don’t know what to do…Bakit lagi na lang ganun? If I’m to give myself something, meron rin akong kailangang i-give up? :)

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 15:26:27 +0000

I'M A BIG SLACKER!!!! I think I really enjoy bumming around!!!! Jhac, ingit ka? ahahaha joke lang! No, seriously! I've been contributing to Philippines’ jobless rate for almost a month now. It’s terrible, I know! But this is my time to really relax & give my time a break from everything & learn something about myself that could perhaps make me better. And I did. Something hit me while I'm trying to contemplate my next step for this year. I realized that I am a big PROCRASTINATOR. Some people could easily tell that about their selves but not me. I thought that procrastinating is plainly being lazy and it comes now and then. I never thought that it could become such a bad habit that it could even impede my success in any part of my life like, forever! I’m reading this book about self-improvement and it gives a list of major causes of procrastination and just to tell you guys, it says in the book that procrastinating could be an obsessive/compulsive behavior. Another thing is it says that it is an excuse for our fear to take risk. And then the bulb lit up and I realized that it was the reason why I actually stayed with my previous job for three years!!! Like what I said before, I already knew from the start that it’s really not gonna work for me and yet I kept on coming up with reasons why I should stay. Then it became a hardcore habit! I became too lenient, too complacent and over-the-top laid-back and then I woke up realizing that my job swallowed me whole! I really didn’t know how the habit started. I always thought of myself as a risk taker. I’ve taken a lot of risk in my life even with in my relationships and my friends could definitely attest to that! I wouldn’t call myself “yer hardcore mama len” for nothing!!! Hehehehehe Later that I realized that it is again one of my thousand reasons. Haya-ya-ya-yay!
Now…I did this entry not only for myself but for my friends that are still out there ‘coz I know how much unsatisfied and unhappy they are right now. Don’t get me wrong please…I am most grateful for that job because it fed me and bought me things that I love for some time. It’s just that every time that my friends and I would talk about our job, we can’t find a single good thing to say about it! Ahahahahaha I hope you could now feel the satisfaction of filing your resignation and the last logging out from your callmasters. ahahahahah

Sat, 30 Dec 2006 11:49:30 +0000

Your Birthdate: July 6

You tend to be a the rock in relationships - people depend on you.
Thoughtful and caring, you often put others needs first.
You aren't content to help those you know... you want to give to the world.
An idealist, you strive for positive change and dream about how much better things could be.

Your strength: Your intuition

Your weakness: You put yourself last

Your power color: Rose

Your power symbol: Cloud

Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?