And it's been an awesome year. It hasn't been all a bed of roses between us but I wouldn't have had it any other way. We've survived controversy that would've crushed lesser beings and the worst storm the country's experienced in decades and we just laughed it all off in the end.

And it's just been one year.

And I can't wait for the next, and the next, and the next. You get the drift.

In retrospect we can count ourselves lucky that we are where we are now. If we were together any sooner we would've been doomed to fail. She was having serious problems while I was immature. We grew and trusted each other just enough to enter the relationship and as such we continue to grow. Our stability is proof of that.

 -o0o-

I count myself as a very lucky man. I have, hmmm, a 'unique' way of thinking, not mainstream to say the least. It'd take a very special kind of woman to accept me and my quirks. Andy is just that. I'm not really attractive to women so to have someone hot and smart like her just blows my mind.

However painful, our past helped shape us to be the person we are now. Sometimes I can't believe how good the two of us mesh together. Through Andy's turbulent past and my own tribulations here we stand, believing this could work and acting on it with every day that passes.

-o0o-

Through some twist of fate our anniversary coincides with the birthday of someone from my own past. So to honor those who shaped me to what I am today, here is a sort of tribute.

One taught me the meaning of patience and forgiveness.

Another taught me what it really means to let go and the beauty music can bring into your life.

Andy taught me the true meaning of happiness and contentment. And for that, I wouldn't have any other woman in the world.

Quote for the day: "Life has taught us that love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

P.S. - I'm quite sorry if this entry wasn't really up to par. My effing browser crashed as I was finishing and now the moment has slipped from me. This is what I remember best of the original post.

Indeed compared to others who were in the same boat as them, their quick thinking and alertness made sure they were in the luxury suites, if you will, of that boat.

Now that just blows my mind, so effing awesome.

Quote for the day: "cheap shot!-HEMOHEMOHEMOHEMOHEMOHEMOHEMOHEMO-kidney shot!-HEMOHEMOHEMOHEMOHEMOMHEOM" ~ random Sub-specced Rogue

I am one of those because my better half, my girlfriend, Andy, is among those trapped in the flooded lands with resources depleting rapidly.

-o0o-

Nobody was prepared for what Ondoy was going to bring and took all of us offguard. I passed it off for another storm while helping in the dirty kitchen that was getting flooded. It was unusual, but it was something which I did not attribute to the strength of the storm.

That Saturday she texted me that their first floor was being flooded. We were being nonchalant and she told me that they had transferred the appliances upstairs. I told her to save her cellphone battery as their power had gone out, but I was expecting to be in contact with her that evening, with everything alright and the storm more or less done.

I was wrong.

I couldn't contact her later that afternoon as she had no signal. Then later that night I lost my signal and lasted the entire evening. When I did get some signal back on Sunday morning, I was expecting her messages to come flooding. They didn't come. She still had no signal. I was starting to get worried.

Then I turned on the news.

 Metro Manila had become a swamp. Muddy waters the height of two full grown men forcing families to upper floors or roofs. Cars stacked like UNO blocks scattered on major highways and village streets alike, swept by the torrent of floodwater like toys. A humanitarian crisis waiting to get worse.

Then the reports started pouring in. Marikina and Rizal are hard-hit. I was hoping that the early lack of reports on Pasig would mean she's safe. Then my worst fear was confirmed: Countryside, De Castro, Rosario, and Marietta Romeo, her village, are buried under six feet of water. I sincerely hope the metaphor stays strictly that way. Pasig is hard-hit as well.

I finally get to contact her around seven in the evening. Apparently she's trapped with her brother, cousin and aunt on the second floor of their house, their ground floor completely submerged along with the entire village. She tells me if worse comes to worse, that I don't forget that she loves me. I tell her back that I love her and to not lose hope. We rarely say it as we prefer actions to words, but the gravity of the situation pushes us to do so. And with the rarity we say it, it makes it all the more sweeter... and bitter.

-o0o-

I feel helpless. As do thousands of other people who want to swoop in and save their loved ones in a snap. I dare not call her on fear of emptying what limited battery life she has left. But I try and lift her spirits with messages at twelve hour intervals, quotes from the greats, that convey hope and determination in the face of despair. I also maintain constant vigil over the news portals for ways to contact people who HAVE the capability and resources to save her and her companions.

But this doesn't soothe me. Nothing short of a full rescue mission led by me to save her would suffice. But I must learn to accept the things I cannot change, and to do what I can do from here.

Also, even though it pains me, I do not have the main responsibility of protecting her. Her family has that, so I wonder what they are doing to get them out of there. I have heard stories of families going on their own rescue missions to get loved ones and succeeding. I wonder if they are thinking of taking that course. I cannot exactly contact them as me and Andy are supposed to be a secret from them.

-o0o-

Andy is tough as nails and I believe that they will be able to tough this out. She's the consummate survivor. I'm banking on her having her wits about her as the floodwaters were rising to get supplies, food, and water to the second floor before it was too late. She also has her brother with her, so I'm hoping his engineering skills will come in handy. I'm no Bear Grylls, but I've also sent some survival tips, most important of which is the absolute necessity of keeping fluids inside the body, which means drinking urine if necessary.

She's been trapped inside her house for three days now. If they can't be saved within the next 48 hours things will start to become even more desperate than it is now as supplies and morale diminish. The silver lining is that with minimal rains over the last two days the flood will slowly start to recede, even if at least inch by muddy inch, to at least allowable levels and let them leave the house and get to safety. The Ever Gotesco HQ set up by the National Disaster Coordinating Council is also a ray of hope, as I've known Andy to walk from her house to Ever Gotesco, so help must be near. Also I'm banking on the constant cries of help from other distraught relatives to turn attention to their area, as it's a big area to cover.

-o0o-

I'm afraid. Through my vigil of the news portals I fear of the report of bodies being recovered from her village. I fear for her life. We're both pragmatic, which allows us to mesh so well, and I know that I must prepare myself for the worst.

Many of my blog entries have been concerned with musings, thoughts, and reflections of the past. As I write now, every time I remember that Andy is STILL in mortal danger, and that I can do little about it, makes me gnash my teeth at my weakness. The thought of losing my better half, my significant other, my best friend, brings me terror unheard of. I have feared for her life only one other time, which turned out to be a misunderstanding, but made me cry a good cry, but not now.

I believe that we'll be able to laugh at all of this over steaming hot plates of Jollibee's burger steak meal, which we both love. I believe we'll be able to discuss our reflections of this event as another one of our late night talks. I believe I will see her again, alive, well and lovely as always.

I am afraid, but I believe.

Quote for the day: "Despair is the price one pays for setting oneself an impossible aim." ~ Graham Greene

I first got a good taste of Megadeth back in high school. My friend was kind enough to burn a CD for me that contained some of their most famous songs like "Symphony of Destruction" and "Tornado of Souls". I liked the songs, but unfortunately at the time I was ignorant and was partial to Metallica because of their feud at the time, thereby effectively limiting my Megadeth collection to the CD my friend gave me. But even if that was the case I greatly enjoyed these handful of songs and whenever I listen to these it brings me back to my high school while being reminded of what I felt when I listened to these songs.

A good example is one of, I think, most beautifully crafted songs of all time, A Tout Le Monde. It basically speaks of suicide, but the thing is it's such a peaceful song. It is sad yet not depressing. What I love most about the song is the chorus, which is in French, hence the title. Somehow the message of the song is magnified because of this and makes it even better.

Another song that takes me back is Trust. Well, maybe it's because I was rarely NOT heartbroken in high school and the song is kinda related to it, as related by my favorite line in the song, "Time and again she repeats 'let's be friends' // I smile and say 'yes', another truth bends, I must confess".

But the most emotionally affecting Megadeth song that I've encountered so far was Tears In A Vial. Maybe because it quite fits with She-Who-Has-Been-Mentioned-One-Too-Many-Times. Basically when I feel like hating her I listen to this. XD I especially liked the last part, which really hit the bullseye.

A few years ago I did not listen that much to Megadeth on principle, just because of their feud with Metallica. It shows how stupid I was then, all in my continuing journey to expand my musical horizons.

Quote for the day: "I saved my tears for you in a vial, from every wicked thing that you did, that you said." ~ Megadeth - Tears In A Vial

But with all plans, something's always bound to go wrong. I may have to drastically adjust them according to the present situation, but my pride is telling me to stick with it for as long as I can. I want to prove to my family and friends that I am well and capable of taking care of myself. I've already done it, it's only a matter of doing it in front of them.

Everything is in order, except for one problem.

Quote for the day: "Like a misery that keeps me focused though I've gone astray, like an endless nightmare I must awake from each day." ~ Metallica - That Was Just Your Life

1. A picture of you in your room. - Eto nung bagong kuha ko yung flagship ko na HD na si Commorragh, named after the Dark Eldar city sa lore ng WH40K

2. A picture of you posing with someone you don't actually like. - Wala eh, since I avoid having my picture with people like them in the first place haha.

3. A picture with a former crush. - This is the closest thing I've got haha. Hulaan ninyo na lang kung sino diyan crush ko haha.

4. A picture of you very drunk. - Wala.

5. A picture of you with a parent or two. - Me and my mum, Grade 6 graduation ko. XD

6. A picture of you on your birthday, or your favorite holiday. - Basta trip manglibre ni Gabo ng Yellow Cab, holiday.

7. A picture of you from your younger years. - No comment HAHAHAHAHA

8. A picture of you in one of your favorite outfits. - ELECLIT Potter Project, yours truly as Severus Snape.

9. A picture of you making a goofy face at the camera. - Marami, yun nga lang eto na muna haha.

10. A picture you might have edited to make yourself more attractive. - Attractive? Maybe. Edited? Nah.

11. A picture of you and a team or club you’re in. - tander~ TANDER~ TANDER!!!!!~ TANDERBERDS, HOOOOOO~

13. A picture of you showing off a new haircut. - NEVER ako nagpalit ng haircut. Hairstyle? Maybe. Haircut? No no no no no~

14. A picture of you truly being yourself. - Kahit banlag ako diyan, this is from one of the days where I felt genuinely happy.

15. Your most recent picture. - Sinusubukang makunan ng picture ang balbas, bigote at pispis bago ipaputol ng mga nakatataas.

16. A picture of you being absolutely ridiculous. - Basta kasama ang TANDERBERDS, ridiculous ako.

17. A picture you’re tagged in on facebook that you aren’t actually in. - Wala akong FB haha.

18. A picture of a time in your life that’s over, but you wish it wasn't. - It's me wearing Brader Kurimao's Comi Hat. It signifies my time in college as well as my time in Netopia, which might as well be the best 3 and a half years of my life.

19. A picture of a time in your life that’s over, and you couldn’t be more thankful that it is. - This was taken when I was still in highschool. As I've stated in several entries, I'm thankful of the things I've gained during that time. But when I think about it I couldn't be more happy that that period is over.

20. A picture with your oldest friend. - Picture namin ni Ate Carol nung debut niya.

21. A picture with your newest friend/s. - Galing sa huling libre ni Juan bago siya bumalik ng Singapore. Ako kumuha niyan so technically I'm still in that picture lol. XD

22. A picture of you when you were anything but happy… - Obvious ba? Haha. XD I think I was brooding over a particular ex-bestfriend at the time.

23. A picture of you that you had no idea was being taken. - Galing ito sa nung nag-strike kami versus Netopia at ginawa naming internet cafe ang Gokongwei.

24. A picture of you when you were a different person than you are. - Christmas Party noong 3rd yr. ako. Wala pa akong kamuwang-muwang sa dadaanan ko sa sususnod na taon.

25. A picture of you in a fashion “DON’T”. - Wala. Besides I'm always in a fashion 'don't'. I wear clothes where I can feel comfortable with.

26. A picture of you in a swimsuit - whether you love it or loathe it. - Wala. Pramis. XD Besides kapag nasa beach ako parang nasa bahay lang ako, shorts at tsaka t-shirt lang.

27. A picture of you taking a shot / chugging a beer / downing some. - Wala.

28. A picture of yourself that you hate. - Grade 6 graduation photo. Hanggang ngayon gusto kong hanapin ang nagpa-pose sa akin ng ganyan at durugin siya ng pinong-pino.

29. A picture of you with someone you love. - Kaming dalawa ng Andy ko. Haaaay kakakilig~ :3

30. A picture of how you’d like the world to see you. - Being awesome in awesome poses like this. XD

31. A picture that describes how you’d like to spend every day. - As long as I have peace mind and spend time with the people I love, ok na iyon.

32. A picture of a time when everything was changing. - Frosh year namin, when we were still assimilating MicroSmith2. Ako yung naka-green polo with the black bag strap.

33. A picture that makes your heart hurt. - (More like rage, actually.)

34. A picture that makes your heart smile. - The only way you could get this many TANDERBERDS gathered in one place ay kung merong manglilibre ng Yellow Cab.

35. A picture of one of the best times of your life. - From our EPIC LASARET in Bukal na Tipan in Rizal. Epic scenery and epic bonding with friends. We were having so much fun and laughing so hard throughout everything we ran out of laugh on the way home, seriously, literally.

I guess that's it. Enjoy. XD

Quote for the day: "Believe in yourself. Not me who believes in you. Not you who believes in me. Believe in you. Who believes in yourself!" ~ Kamina to Simon, Gurren Lagann

Lumangoy sa Ilog Taft
Nag-GODLIKE sa DotA
Natuto mag-Day of Defeat: Source
Natuto mag-World of Warcraft
Tumambay sa Microsmith 2
Tumambay sa Netopia
Sumigaw dahil masarap sumigaw
Nagpaalis ng mga babae dahil sa kakasigaw
Nagcut para maglakwatsa
Nagcut dahil nakakatamad yung subject
Nagcut dahil nakakatamad yung teacher
Nagcut para sa pag-ibig
Nagcut dahil pwede pa magcut
Nagcut for the BROmance
Kinutya ang Ateneo
Kinutya ang La Salle
Natuwa sa mga taga-St. Scho
Natuwa sa mga taga-St. Paul
Nag-thesis
Tinamad mag-thesis
Natuto magcommute ng malayo
Kinabahan kay Sir Molmisa
Kinabahan kay Sir Baquiran
Nanghinayang at 'di nakuha si Sir Robles

At mga 'di na matandaang kung anu-ano pang alaala.

Kolehiyo.

Sabi nila high school daw ang pinakamasayang parte ng buhay mo, kasi daw pagdating ng college gaguhan na at kanya-kanya.

Nagkamali sila, ibig sabihin magaling pala ako sa gaguhan at kanya-kanya. Sa lahat ng pinasasalamatan ko nung high school ako eh gusto ko siyang kalimutan. Kung dahil ba 'yon kay Jillian, o dahil sa sakit ng ulong inabot ko kay Generosa Amor, o dahil sa malabakal na kapit sakin ng pamilya ko, hindi ko alam. Pagdating ko ng college ay parang bumukas sa akin ang mundo, at simula noon ay mas gusto ko nang nasa labas ng bahay kaysa asa loob nito. Hindi kasingtaas ang mga marka ko sa kolehiyo noong high school ako, pero hindi ako nagsisisi, kahit minsan nanghihinayang. Natuto akong mabuhay, kailan mo ba mamasamain 'yon?

Ngayong malapit na ako magtapos na kolehiyo natatakot uli ako. Nung magtatapos ako ng high school natakot din ako dahil mawawala ang kinagisnang buhay. Ngayon, parang ganun din, yun nga lang alam ko kung anong naghihintay sa akin, isang mundong walang patawad sa mga hindi nagtatagumpay. Wala akong magagawa kundi ibato na lang ang lahat sa hangin at sumugod, patuloy na uusad ang kasaysayan kahit hindi ka kasama.

Malapit na akong matapos sa OJT ko, malapit nang matapos ang thesis namin, malapit na akong magpaalam sa kinagisnang mga haligi, malapit na akong magpaalam sa mga napamahal na kaibigan, malapit na akong lumusong sa isang panibagong mundo, malapit na akong magimpake at magpatuloy sa biyaheng ito na kung tawagin ay buhay.

Quote for the day: "Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin." ~ Captain Eddan Bourne, No. 2 Assault Company, Silver Skull

El Alfarero
Pablo Neruda

Todo tu cuerpo tiene
copa o dulzura destinada a mí.

Cuando subo la mano
encuentro en cada sitio una paloma
que me buscaba, como
si te hubieran, amor, hecho de arcilla
para mis propias manos de alfarero.

Tus rodillas, tus senos
tu cintura
faltan en mí como en el hueco
de una tierra sedienta
de la que desprendieron
una forma,
y juntos
somos completos como un solo río,
como una sola arena.

Andy, you can ask me for the English translation if you want, or you could look for it by yourself. [smug_face] Happy Valentines dear. *kissu*

Quote for the day: "Emperor show mercy to the fool that stands against me, for I shall not." ~ Warmaster Demetrius, at the outset of the Salonika Crusade, 733.M38

• The continued good health and safety of family and friends. - For this overall my family and friends are still intact and breathing, although in the field of good health someone very important to me finds this somewhat a luxury as her resistances to sickness isn't as good as we all want it to be. I hope that there come a time in the future that she be more resistant to sickness, but for the meantime we must trudge on and face whatever comes.
  
• Continued good fortunes in the academic field - With the results I garnered this term I really consider myself lucky to have the good grades I got, with the 2.5 for Thesis Writing 1 getting a special place in my heart. XD My grades are quite good in comparison with my past two terms, which have been abyssmal to say the least.
  
• Continued hegemony in Netopia EGI Taft - We are still the reigning hegemons in our mighty home, but the years have eroded our authority with the loss of our regulars. New and insolent challengers appear to claim our throne but we stand steadfast to repel this n00bish onslaught.
• For the coming Metallica album to be epic - Death Magnetic IS JUST FUCKING AWESOMEZOOORSZOSRSOZSSS!!!11! But I do have my gripes on the album. It carried some of the "rawness" over from St. Anger, which makes itself apparent with Lar's drumming and Hammett's solos. But this is a strength as well as a weakness as the production is somewhat lacking and Hammett's looked like he was drunk or high or something when he was recording the solos. But overall a VERY kickass album and a welcome addition to Metallica's already epic discography.
• For Devil May Cry 4 to be epic - Alas, DMC4 did not live up to the expectations of the hardcore following because DMC4 catered to the mainstream audience and casual gamers with the addition of a new character in the person of Nero with overpowered mechanics and basically gave Dante a diminished role having only around 7 missions of the total 20. Although it brought something new to the table like the Exceed system and on-the-fly style switching I was still very disappointed with the game. DMC4 deserves an entire entry but that's for next time.
• To finally find her - All I needed was one chance. And I got it. And I capitalized. I finally found someone who dared to see me behind the mask and see me for who I am. And this time, I'm not going to waste this opportunity to share who I am with her, and her with me.
  

Overall, 2008 proved to be an epic year and for the first time in a long while, this is one holiday season where I'm actually happy. Cheers to 2009.

Quote for the day: "It's the nexus of the crisis, and the origin of storms." ~ Metallica - Astronomy

Today was a pretty normal day, although Sir Molmisa did give us a pep talk of sorts since we were soon to graduate. It reminded me of how much a nice guy he really is. Other than that I'm starting to feel all drowsy all the time again. I can't think straight and I'm sleepy all the time. I need that vacation if I'm to recover properly, almost there damn it.

I miss Andy, I really do. If I don't do something else to keep my mind occupied, it'll eventually wander to her. I wonder how she's doing, if she's still taking her breaks, if she's gotten sick again, if she misses me too. I hope I can last the three weeks, because this is driving me nuts.

But of course I carry on, because I know at the end there'll be someone waiting for me.

Quote for the day: "I'm blind not deaf." ~ Illidan Stormrage