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Thank you and sorry for my shameless plugging~ :3. HAHAHA! *bump*

Good thing, my friend knows many jobs to apply, or at least, things to work on. The first thing she introduced to me was network marketing.

At first, she didn't expose it at all. Ayaw nya sabihing networking yun; kasi nga naman, ampangit ng connotation dito sa Pinas. Most networking companies decline after 5 years in their business. Pano ba naman, wala silang product movement. And as far as I know, marami sa kanila yung scam--with all that registration fee and stuff. I asked so much questions sa friend ko. Napilitan siyang i-spill na networking nga yung pinasok nya, and she was inviting me.

Nung una, ayoko. Why? Networking eh. For some reason, ayoko talaga. Mahirap magtrabaho sa isang networking business, di ba? Pero she was insisted to have me visit the company, so I agreed. It wouldn't hurt to visit anyway. I can say no anytime, right?

So yun. We met in HSBC building along Ayala Avenue. One amazing trivia about it is that it is the most expensive office space in the Philippines. Impressive for a networking company. Alam ko kasi, usually, they are around Ortigas.

The name of the company was USANA Health Sciences. Products nila, multivitamins. Nung una, sabi ko, so what? Haha! Andaming networking companies na nagbebenta ng ganyang products. Well, what was different with them is that they were branded as the "Best of the Best" by a research done of the Canadian Ministry of Health.

And one thing that made them different from the rest is that they had a patented structure of networking. So it means, sila lang ang merong ganun. I think they attribute their success over the past 17 years to their structure.

Kaya ayun, napasali na rin ako. The company looks good and trusted eh. Hahaha!

And isa pa, I'm itching to earn dollars over the month. Hahaha! (Oh yeah! Dollars, men!)

But I'm so happy now that I am free! Free from studying! Free from the chains of everything that's stressful and tiring! Tapos na kasi yung board exams ko last June 6-7. Hahaha!

Assessment ko sa boards? Okay naman. I think I'll pass! (Amf! Ang yabang!) Hinde, pwera biro. May madaling part. May mahirap rin naman (-_-). Pero I made sure that most of my answers were correct. (Assuming?) Kaya I have a good feeling na papasa ako! (That's the spirit!)

So what now?

Eto, nawili ako sa Tumblr. Andami kalokohan and most posts make sense. Hehe.

Tsaka eto, while waiting for the results, which I think will be released by the end of this month, pumapart-time ako and getting ready for NCLEX. Pinapagtake na kasi ako ng NCLEX for the CA State Board. (Another exam. -_-)

Pero anyway, I really love my part-time job. It's so cool and I HAS BIG INCOME. ("Potential income") I'll just talk about it next time.

Anyhow, I'm just here to welcome back mahself~. HAHAHAHAHA~!

Anyway, my friend's father gave me an option; actually, it's the only option. He told me, I could take BA Painting for the meantime. Tapos magshift na lang daw ako pagdating ng second year sa Adver. Matutulungan daw nya ko na makapasok. He could pull some strings to let me in.

Medyo napaisip ako, pero nah. Aanhin ko ang painting. I'd only waste one entire year taking that course. I know it's a noble field of interest; but, it's not my thing. Painting is not my stuff.

So, ayun. Since painting is a no-no. I thought I could wait for another opening--next year. Might be another option.

The question is, can I wait?

To be honest, napapaisip na ko kung idelay ko na lang 'tong 'big dream' ko. Perhaps, magtitiis na lang ako. Ilang years lang naman eh. It's not like I won't be gaining much from making something out of these four years in nursing school. Alam na alam naman nating there's clearly a pot of gold behind this profession.

Well I guess I don't have a choice. The best thing for me to do is... yeah, work as a nurse. Be practical. Earn dollars. Get filthy rich. Forget--or, no. Delay the 'dream'. Think about it later. I still have time for dreams. Anyway, I'm still young and the road is still long for me to walk about.

So much has happened recently...

Everyday, everyweek, even before graduation, nagrereview kami. Oh, and includes Saturdays and Sundays. Ganun ka-intensive yung pagtututok sa 'min para lang sa June Board Exams.

Biruin mo, nagchecheck pa rin sila ng attendance. I mean, hello di ba? Grad na kami, may attendance pa rin! Ang paniwala kasi nila, the more you absent your self during the review, the more chances of failing. So far, isang beses pa lang ako umabsent. At aabsent rin ako this weekend. Pupunta kasi kaming Bohol. Hahaha! Wag naman sanang magkabuhulbohol ang scores ko sa board exams. You know, karma? Haha.

Pero naisip ko lang, hindi naman sa pagmamayabang--although it's essentially mayabang, I could tell na magagaling nga ang students ng UST Nursing pagdating sa board exams. Lately ko lang kasi nalaman, halos lahat pala ng reviewers namin, same rin sa ibang school of nursing. Yeah, those schools were also hiring the same line-up of great professors from our university; and yet, our graduates seemed to have been doing great as far as figures are concerned. Probably, ang pagkakaiba lang namin sa kanila, mas mura bayad namin for review as compared to other review centers. Sa labas ata, ranging from 7,000-12,000. Sa 'min, 3,000 lang. Now look at that. More than 50% ang discount namin! Needless to say, sulit na sulit nga yung bayad namin at pagpasok araw-araw kahit na gano pa kainit.

At habang palapit nang palapit ang board exams, mas lalo akong kinakabahan. Feeling ko kasi, airhead pa rin ako. Ang daming dapat aralin, tandaan at isapuso!

Kanina, nagfile na ko ng application ko for board exams. Last day na bukas kaya, Dios ko! ang haba ng pila! Tapos impyerno pa ang weather. Patay-patay na.

Buti kamo, tinanong ko Mommy ko kung may kilala siya sa PRC. Turns to be, meron. Yeah, we pulled some strings. Kaya ayun, kahit anong tanghali na kami pumunta dun, natapos agad ako dahil inaccommodate agad kami sa isang what it seems to be a secret area. Sa backdoor kami dumaan eh. Basta, ang saya kasi maaga kami natapos. Wala pang 2 hours. Yung iba kasi, from what I've heard, pumila dun ng 2 AM. Tapos 10 AM lang matatapos. HAHAHA! Good luck di ba? Alam kong unfair yun, pero I had the chance na eh. Better take it than leave it. Iaaral ko na lang yung napakahabang oras. Haha!

Meanwhile, yung plano kong magCFAD, ON THE ROCKS na. HUHUHUHU!

Nalate ako ng submission ng requirements. Super busy kasi sa pagrereview kaya di ko na siya naayos. Huhuhuh! Full na yung gusto kong course. Nakakainis. Baka maghintay na lang ako ng next school year para mag-enroll.

Madami pa kong ikkwento. Sa susunod na posts ko na lang ilalagay.

Oh, and again.
WELCOME BACK TO MYSELF! Haha!

OH YEAH! Ang sarap ng feeling na kumawala sa galamay ng Nursing! Wooh~ Although I did not graduate with honors kahit na konting push lang, kaya kong makakuha ng recognition, di ko siya nagawa; simply because it's barely my passion. Wala ka talagang mapipiga sa isang taong tuyot, ika ko nga. Hahaha!

Nagulat lang ako kani-kanina lang--nasa TV pala yung graduation namin. And some of my friends got interviewed too! Here's the link. [LINK]

Nakakatuwa kasi they generalized all of us. Optimistic daw lahat. Alo yata, hindi eh. LOL! Lagi akong, "Wala namang trabaho!" Anyway, di pa rin ako magtatrabaho bilang nurse--yan ang malakas kong kutob. Pakiramdam ko talaga, di ako magtatagal sa routine na trabaho. Baka magquit ako agad kung di man ako lagnatin. Haha!

May napansin lang ako sa mga high achievers, yung reason nila for excelling in that field ay laging for the good of everyone. It seems like selflessness is the best type of inspiration, no? Tingnan mo yung Magna cum laude namin, gusto magserve sa country and I think, God gave her what she really deserves. xD!

As for me, all self-centered and ambitious, I'm just so overwhelmed that I'm through with Nursing--or at least, not yet. May board exams pa. Siguro after na lang nito, dun na ko tuluyang magsasaya! Wahaha!

CFAD, here I come! (Make sure you reserve a slot for me in next year's Pautakan Team! LOL!)

Pakiramdam ko, matagal ko na niloloko sarili ko. Pilit kong sinasabi na natutuwa ako sa isang bagay na sa loob-loob ko talaga, ayoko siya--for good.

Honestly and selfishly speaking, ayoko pala talaga maging isang nurse.

Yes, I learned to appreciate the craft in my four years in this college. And after those four years, I managed to try loving it with all my heart. But all that, I reckoned, are just superficial--pakitang tao lang. Para lang hindi ako magmukhang tanga sa ward, na sumisimangot na ayoko sa trabahong ganun. Para lang kahit pano, masabi ko na kailangan kong aralin ang pagiging nurse para considerable ang lumabas na grades ko at hindi yung lumalagapak. At tsaka, para naman masabing tao akong may puso rin para sa mga nangangailangan; kaya imposibleng hindi ko matutuhang mahalin ang propesyong ito.

Pwes, it was all bullshit--I think.

Probably, natuwa lang ako na kahit pano, nagmumukha kang 'knowledgeable' sa harap ng mga tao pagdating sa kalusugan nila. Hindi ko na lang rin pinansin ang sarili ko kasi andun na ko. Mahirap na gumawa ng paraan palabas o umurong. Isa pa, sayang na rin ang oras. Tapusin na--para hindi magmukhang 'weakling' o duwag. Haha!  Nevertheless, di ko naman siya nakikitang 'waste of time' kasi may natutunan pa rin naman ako. Ang sinasabi ko lang, hindi talaga ito para sa kin.

Napaisip kasi ako kahapon.
"[insert my name], RN". Tss. Screw all that crap.

Hindi kasi makatao ang personality ko. I totally suck at my interpersonal aspect of intelligence. Actually, wala nga ako talaga pakialam sa ibang tao--sa iisipin nila o sa kung anong gusto nilang mangyari. To each his own, ika nga. Sa nursing pa naman, kailangan daw ang genuine desire to help improve the well-being of your patient. Puta, walang wala ako nun. Pakitang tao lang lahat. Kung tutuusin nga, sa isip-isip ko, gusto kong sabihin, "Kasalanan mo yan eh, pagbayaran mo." Tingnan mo nga. Bagay ba maging nurse ang tulad ko? Eh kung ako yung pasyente, di ko kukunin na nurse ang sarili ko eh.

Kaya pinagiisipan kong mabuti yung patutunguhan ko pagkatapos ng boards--o kung magtatake pa ba ako ng boards. Hahaha! Honestly, kaya naman ako nagreview dahil una, kailangan sa clearance; pangalawa, nakakahiya bumagsak sa boards. Alam nyo naman ang UST, very conscious sa all-that-shit-you-know-what. Kaya rin ako magboboards kasi nakakahiya rin na walang RN para sa isang graduate ng BSN program ng University of Santo Tomas. Kung titingnan mo ngang mabuti, it was all for prestige--why I got in and through this damn college life.

Tama, all for prestige lang lahat ng ito.

Naalala ko, pumayag ako magUST Nursing kasi iilan lang ang pumapasa dito. Pumayag ako kasi may magandang kinabukasan sa propesyong ito. Eh putek yan, wala ngang siguradong trabaho ngayon kaya siguro napapaisip ako ngayon.

Nakakaasar, no?

Anyway, ano ba talaga ang gusto ko? Well, since I'm already 20 years old with the sound mind and judgment to make decisions for myself, not like nung 16 years old ako na halos lured lang ako sa nursing; masasabi ko na, na ang gusto ko talaga magCFAD!

Matagal ko na vineverbalize ito. Nung second year pa nga, halos 75% decided na ko na magshishift. Pano ba naman, kitang-kita ko na sa grades ko na I am an epic failure on NURSING. First sem, 2.5 ata or 2.75. Limot ko na. Tapos second sem, 2.75. The grades pretty much say it all. Sabi nga ni Sir Sumile, "Gago, minumura ka na." Pero hindi ako nagshift kasi nahiya ako sa magulang ako. Sayang na kasi yung oras at lahat ng effort nila para lang makapasok ako sa college na toh. Leche kasi, sinabi ko na kay Ma'am Zendel at Ma'am Ger (interviewers ko nun) na ayaw ko sa nursing. Nilagay pa rin ako sa Waiting list! Grabe, kung tadhana man yun, tang-inang tadhana yan.

Kaya kung magkaroon man ako ng lakas ng loob na sabihin sa parents ko, pipilitin ko talaga sila na pumayag na magsecond course ako--BA Advertising!

Siguro, ieexplain ko na lang sa kanila na ayoko talaga maging nurse, na di ako magiging magaling na nurse, na di ako magiging masaya sa trabahong ospital at para pakonsuelo siguro, pipilitin kong kunin ang titulong RN, kahit na mabubulok rin siya eventually.

Kaya sa mga magmemed dyan sa UST, baka at *sana* magkita na lang tayo sa UST na ako ay isang CFAD student. Hehe.

Sa mga kapwa ko NASA, pasensya na pero magtutuos na lang tayo sa Pautakan! haha! Walang biro. Bwahaha!

At sa mga classmates and friends, sige na, papakilala ko na kayo sa mga lalakeng gwapo na magiging classmate ko. Alam ko namang yun ang gusto nyo eh. Hahahaha!

Yung ibang magCFAD din dyan... tell me para sabay tayo! :D

Although di ko masyado ramdam yung tuwa as in tuwang-tuwa. I mean, I am happy. But not that happy that I could twist my head 360 degrees. Haha!

Di ko naman kasi pinaghirapan masyado itong college. In other words, little or less effort talaga. What do I mean?

Yeah, I had times na dumaan ako sa sweat, blood and tears pero I know how much I can give to something. I know that it wasn't the best of me. I did hold back many times along the way; mainly because I just didn't like it. I was not entirely interested with the craft. I am not good in dealing with people. Ayoko ng drama. Sinusuka ko ang drama sa buhay. Kaya di na ko nagtataka na di ako magaling makisalamuha sa tao. Walang wala ako sa Nursing. Hanggang sa theoretical lang ang sinabi ko. The rest, panis ako.

Nung isang araw, tiningnan ko grades ko mula nung first year. Ang tataas pala nung grades ko nung first year. May nalalaman pang 'dean's lister'. Palibhasa walang clinical subjects nun. Puro basic subjects. English, Pinoy, Biology, Chemistry. Kaya maning-mani.

Pagdating ng second year, HAHA. Halos batukan ko sarili ko. Ang tanga ko kasi. Kitang-kita na kasi sa grades ko na DI TALAGA PARA SA KIN ANG NURSING. Pano ba naman, grade ko sa major clinical subject ko, kulang kulang tres na. Siguro kung binulakbol ko pa ng konti yun, aabot na ng tres yun. Kung nasa katinuan lang ako nun, dapat nagshift na ko. HAHAHA. Nung third at fourth year naman, so-so lang... mediocre efforts that deserve mediocre grades.

Kaya di na rin ako nagtaka na walang akong 'laude' kahit na halos nasa stepping stone na ko nung first year. Di ko naman siya pinagsisisihan ngayon kasi alam kong unefforted nga ang college ko.

Perhaps, the last thing na medyo pagtutuunan ko ng pansin dito sa Nursing ay ang pagpasa ko sa board exams--hindi dahil gusto ko talaga magtrabaho, kundi dahil nakakahiya lang bumagsak. Hahahaha!

Alam nyo naman ang UST. Napakaconscious sa status ng board exam performance. Kaya dapat kong ayusin. Basta makapasa lang!

Kaya ngayon buong summer, nag-aattend ako ng inhouse na review provided ng UST every day from Monday until Sunday. Hay grabe. Paguran araw-araw. Ang dami pa kailangan aralin. Pag nainis ako, di na lang ako magboboard exams. In the first place, ayaw ko naman talaga magtrabaho bilang isang nurse, honestly speaking lang talaga.

Eh, anong gusto ko? Ewan ko. Career counseling siguro? Pero too late na, no? Hahaha!

Last Monday, March 9, was the 32nd Annual Intercolegiate Quiz Contest of the UST, or more popularly known as the Pautakan. I was a member of the College of Nursing's Pautakan Team. Super kinakabahan kami nung araw na yun. Tipong, hindi nagmomove ang digestive system namin sa hyperactivation ng sympathetic nervous system. Halos maduwal-duwal kami at di makakain.

Bakit naman kami hindi kakabahan? Last year, nagchampion kami. We had a title to defend.

Unfortunately though, this year is just not for us. The questions were out of our scope. Hindi naman napaghandaan nang mabuti. Kaya we found it hard to hit wonders during the contest. Although, I was proud of my sagasa answer. (Sagasa meaning ikaw lang nakatamang sagot among all the teams)

Yung question kasi goes like this:

If pollination by wind is anemophily, what do you call pollination by bats?

LOL! Hirap no? Buti na lang naansweran ko yan. Di ko siya actually nabasa pero alam ko lang ang Greek term for Bats. And so I answered, chiropterophily; which turns out to be the right answer! I'm so happy nun!

Pero nakakalungkot lang talaga na di pa namin kahit yung third place lang considering all the opportunities given to us. We had lots of answers na pinalitan namin; yet, the correct answer was the first one. We regret it so much; kaya hirap makaget-over. Hays.

Di bale, alam ko naman na yung succeeding members of the Nursing Pautakan Team, maghahanda nang mabuti for next year. Maggraduate na kasi ako kaya di na ko makakasali. Haha! (unless magsecond course ako ng CFAD)

Anyway, I reckon, with the kind of knowledge na meron kami, 4th place among the 12 colleges is not bad after all.