Lost in Translation. . .

pushed

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 03:21:24 +0000

I must say I was pushed to the limit...BUT.... I refuse to stoop down to that level. It's just so immature and stupid.

And I must also say that the recent event justifies the relationship to its most basic and nonchalant form...colleague. So, it's just proper to deal with a colleague in a manner that is both civil and professional. no surprise in that.

There's always a lost in sense and meaning when a story is being translated into another thing. twisted truth, if I may call it. But please, let us remind ourselves of the so-called "social responsibility"...we're adults for crying out loud. get your freakin' facts straight... did I already say, we're adults already?

But hey, it is soooo yesterday and I have promised myself I will no longer deal with it. However, yeah, it's not that important to earn an entry in my blog, but it is an unfortunate and pitiful event that one must learn from. There's always a thin line between maturity and sensibility.... This is the first time that I will blog about it and hopefully the last for it's a waste of time if I return all the bashing. I still have the nerve to remind myself of blogging rules and policy.

fyi

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 10:16:34 +0000

for what it's worth.... for clarity's sake

you no longer matter. i no longer care. i won't stoop down to your level, if that's what you're expecting. this is getting so damn pathetic :)) if i were you, i'll watch your back. ..fyi: it's not me who's being hated

last words: once an a**hole, always an a**hole... i guess you'll never know that

reminiscing 2008

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 06:29:00 +0000

2008 was a great year for me. it wasn't perfect and neither smooth but it was one hell of a ride. parang ang daming nangyari and each day is different from the other. my upcoming photoblog entry will tell how was it when it comes to my travel but this post is intended for something deeper....

came across "closing cycles" by paolo coehlo thru ava's blog and i find it so fitting to describe the year that was...

cycle of doing.
each year brings the same 525,600 minutes and one won't progress if he keeps doing what he's doing. U.R.L. Unlearn.Relearn. Learn. I have let go some habits, reminded myself of some good old ones and learned a thing or two along the way. Hopefully, I can bring them altogether in 2009.

cycle of renting.
thank God for giving us a home we can call our own. finally the cycle of being nomad ended this year.

cycle of carry-overs.
as we moved into the new house, I chose not to packed everything I own (thank God for digital cameras, I won't be missing them too much :D). There are some I have to let go and leave behind. But not bringing them in doesn't mean I chose to forget, it only means I chose to : unclutter and move on. One cannot live on the shadows of his past. It's time to acquire new souvenirs, aspire for something greater and be part of something more significant.... . moving-in is starting anew.

re-cycling.
as things got disposed during move-out, it must be done responsibly. thank God for the waste market fair at Goldcrest glorietta. It allowed me to take part in taking care of dearest mother earth.

cycle of communication.
for a tree to bloom, it must be pruned. sometimes must hibernate so we can move along or find who is brave enough to tear down the wall... [however] sometimes need to reconnect to feel each other's worth... As i clean-up my office emails, it brought me back a lot of good and not-so-good memories of my work and the people I work with for the past three years. some messages were informative, pathetic, petty, funny and tragic but all in all very entertaining. But as part of the "uncluttering" and freeing physical space, no turning back, I have to trash it. I retained a few and will probably hold on to it until I'm there.

cycle of life, love and friendship.
there are doors we seldom have control over with, cycles that opens and closes on its own....
   it took goodbye to realize what I got.
   took sickness to stop a bad habit.
   took a harsh talk to stop a mean cycle.
   took an unplanned trip to gain two new friends.
   took a prayer to rekindle a relationship.
   ... but i guess...
   it will take n-hours/days/years to bring back things to the way they were.
   (for someone) it took a heartache to find the well-deserved happiness.
   ... and I know...
   it will only take God to say whether things right now are for good or not.

resolution

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 05:07:00 +0000

today is new year's eve.

there's a lot of things going on my mind, from household chores, life decisions upto disposal of old clothes and recycable materials.

i'm trying to juggle everything in my thoughts thinking i can solve them.

i am an O.C. in my on way. i want to fix and arrange things right then and there.... in my own time. not considering there are things that can't be done. not today. not now.

as i clean up things, i came across my little notes... i have a habit of trying to write down my thoughts. whether it's my to-do list or just random things. i make it a point to jot them down to avoid overload. and it's funny and ridiculous if you get to read everything ( i even include in my list "kill all the rats in the house") hahahha.... there are redundant items listed. mostly what i want and need. and in light of the new year, there are those that can be considered as "resolutions"..

1. tithe every sunday
2. get to travel
3. clean the house
4. arrange our pictures
5. read the bible
6. learn a new language
7. create a scrapbook
8. read a new book and finish it
9. less worrying, ranting and whining
10. get mad less
11. be more positive in life
12. attend a dance class
13. get fit
14. be better
15. praise God always
16. save money
17. play chess again
18. learn how to cook
19. take up Master studies
20. be more responsible
21. be more sensitive
22. be more thankful
23. help at least one life

i guess some are in progress while for others , i havent even started. i plan to do so and i hope and pray for strength to press on...

writer's block

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 08:53:55 +0000

I have a long list of things and pictures to post (both here and in multiply) but I'm having a hard time dealing with it. Even if i want to post it and put my two cents on it, i feel lazy.

There's a lot of things going on right now and how i wish i can put into words the recent events but i really cant find the bone to do so.

what 's the term for it? ... writer's block!

for now, all i can write is...

scars of the past always heal on their own. we can't force it, not in our own timeline. it's either we move on or we get left behind... either we forgive, we forget or both. the choice is always ours.

jordan year

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 06:37:57 +0000

As we grow old, the more we should be grateful to God's faithfulness.

..so in a few days time I'm gonna have to celebrate my 23rd year. since last year, I've been planning to celebrate it in a fashion that will benefit others, not just me. been wanting to celebrate it with the less-fortunate kids, perhaps some institution in Tayuman. but obviusly I am not a good planner neither a good money-saver. maybe that's why I am not that looking forward on my birthday because it would be just like the past years where I would treat the people who could very much afford more than three meals (hehehe), it's not that I am bitter about it neither I dont want them around, it's just that I think it is about time to share to those who cant afford it . I've been blessed, too blessed I must say. He is faithful to provide me with everything, maybe not the things I want and rant about, but the things I most certainly need.

Promises must be kept, deadlines met, commitments honored; not just for the sake of old-fashioned morality, but because we become what we do (or fail to do), and character is simply the sum of our performances.

... being able to celebrate my 'jordan' year is a gift in itself. I take it as a miracle that I still get to celebrate life despite everything... so as the day approaches, I asked myself, where am I after writing last year's bday entry?... have I examined my life enough to know where I am going? have I reflect more about life and living? have I learned how to take risk in order to put things in perspective? have I chosen to grow up?... well, well, well... I'm still in the process of finding the answers.... still in the process of sorting things out. and still in process of accepting and letting things go... still in the process of changing...

as one research says, you need to do things 21 times in order to make a habit. thus.... quitting bad habits must be exercised 21 times and so is developing new ones. I'm not sure if I have already started my day 1 or will I start it soon. all i know is I should start somehow...regardless...

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.

I suppose every person who gets to celebrate his/her bday has a list of "i-wanna-do", "i-wanna-have" and "i-wanna-be" stuffs... and I do have my share of those but imho [in my humble opinion] one won't be able to achieve even a quarter of it.... we only have enough time to be at one place at any given moment... and with this, I plan not to make any short-term wishlist for this year. I have too many things on my hand right now and I can't afford to add another one... (it's getting harder for me to outdo myself. it's not that I have to but most will agree that I am an ideal person and I think I'm becoming too ideal that I'm imposing too much...) After a year of pondering I came to realize that there are a thousand and one things we have no control over with. there's nothing wrong in making plans [in fact, I encourage you to have one], but I think it's best to have a plan and "plan to be surprised"... Indeed life does not look back. we all have to move forward and with that I [we] have to live my life taking steps, either full steps or baby ones, the important thing is I get to get going.... AND before taking the first step, I think it's best to know where He wanted me to be and follow the path obediently... "A life lived fully is a life lived faithfully", perhaps it starts with the willingness to change, and the courage to take the cross and gladly take the burden of the life one chooses.

why must I bear this pain?I can't tell; I only know my Lord does all things well. And so I trust in God, my all in all. For He will bring me through, whate'er befall

the year had passed had been a tough, rough, rocky, and pleasurable ride but the One up there is ever faithful to bring me through. there were a lot of changes and I expect there'll be more to come but I'll continue to trust in Him that He'll be right beside me all the time.... I noticed that when I started to hit the age of 20, my bday seems to be always fast approaching. and in that short and fast span of time, more events (perhaps more sad than happy ones) are happening that I can't understand and explain.. Life is indeed unfair. good things happen to both good and not-so-good people...and so are bad things... and we [I] tend to question that. little we[I] didn't know that in our[my] own myopic view, we can't understand all His ways. most of the times, we[I] just have to follow and trust that He know better.... He always know better than I...

A note to self as I add another year: The Lord does not just direct our steps but also our stops... one must be sensitive to His signs.... and He breaks people greatly those whom He will use mightily.

In the absence of a great dream, pettyness prevails.

I guess most people would want to know their purpose. and so am I. In that way I can put my life into good use rather living it only for my sake. I wish to find my calling and to be faithful in the place where He had put me, and to utter a prayer similar to MichaelAngelo's : "I hope that I may always desire more than I can accomplish."... I tols myself that I would go back to school ater three years of working and guess what, 3 yrs already passed. And somehow there is this urge in me to make it a reality. If God-willing, I plan to take up Masteral degree next school year. I'm hoping it would be in UPD, but we'll see... This is perhaps one of the few long-term wish/dream I have.

On a lighter note....

I love it when special events such as birthday fall on a Sunday. To start the day with a morning service makes me feel everything is going to be ok. Haven't plan much for 16th, since my mom just left for Taipei this week... My sisters and I will be watching Gary V @ 25 later at Araneta (as their bday gift ) and then we'll have my [post] bday celeb when my mom get back, that is on Monday, next week. plans for the weekend? nada!. Prayer mountain sounds like a good idea or shopping sa quiapo? hehe

Josh is prodding me for a wish-list. Well, marami akong gusto pero I think they're all unnecessary so I have to think twice before wishing. As they say, "Be careful what you wish for" hehe.
1. Book: Inner Life (Andrew Murray)
2. Book: The Master's Indwelling (Andrew Murray)
3. Book: More than Conquerors
4. Book: FOR ONE MORE DAY (Mitch Albom)
5. Book : By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept (Paulo Coehlo)
6. Book: The Alchemist (Paulo Coehlo)
7. Book: The Zahir (Paulo Coehlo)
8. Earphones for Ipod
9. USB flash drive (4gb)
10. Wii fit

Thanks Roan! You never failed to surprise me. happy bday to the both of us! this card surprised me yesterday :d

time

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 04:55:21 +0000

there is no such thing as perfect timing but there is always a right time for everything... and it is the time when one decide to get up and make it happen...

the big BUT is, in the course of ironing things out, one must be prepared. "plan to be surprised" as Dan In Real life movie tells. there is no fool-proof plans. there will always be bumps, hurdles and unexpected things to come. sometimes it could be a sign of maybe-next-time, a sign of slow-down-check-things-first or at times it is a sign and test on whether you're courageous enough to pull it off.

whatever it is, only one thing is constant.. consequences.

[however] there's never a right time to say goodbye...

desire

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 09:59:14 +0000

MEREDITH: [narrating] "Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most, are those who don't know what they want."

The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you. - Lost in Translation, movie

move along

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 10:45:27 +0000

a song goes something like "... all good things must come to an end...", i guess it does. no one can be forever 'takers'; and sometimes people need to yield even if they don't understand why, or even if things aren't the way they expected/ predicted/ planned out.

it's in letting go that people gain understanding of things. "it's the natural way of things".

end

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 06:03:32 +0000

No work for today. yipee! been listening to media player for the past weeks to make me focus on work. (yeah, getting a bit bored with it :( )..anyway, i chance upon this song [same artists behind "The Man Who Cant be Moved"]... good lyrics and music.... i guess, sometimes we need no words, we just have to make do with what we have and learn from things and move along.

Sometimes tears say all There is to say
Sometime your first Scars wont ever fade, away
Tried to break my heart Well it's broke
Tried to hang me high Well I'm choked
Wanted rain on me Well I'm soaked
Soaked to the skin

It's the end where I begin It's the end where I begin

Sometimes we don't learn From our mistakes
Sometimes we've no Choice but to walk Away, away
Tried to break my heart Well it's broke
Tried to hang me high Well I'm choked
Wanted rain on me Well I'm soaked
Soaked to the skin

It's the end where I begin It's the end where I begin

Now I'm alive
And my ghosts are gone
I've she'd all the pain
I've been holding on
The cure for a heart
Is to move along, is to move along
So move along [ X3 ]
What don't kill a heart
Only makes it strong

Sometimes tears say all There is to say
Sometime your first Scars don't ever fade, away
Tried to break my heart Well it's broke
Tried to hang me high Well I'm choked
Wanted rain on me Well I'm soaked
Soaked to the skin

It's the end End where I begin It's the end End where I begin

Sometimes we don't learn From our mistakes
Sometimes we've no Choice but to walk
Away, away

The Script - The End Where I Begin