blurty

the tempest

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 05:34:21 -0500

ahhh... the places you see when the most stressed.

today i set my alarm for 7.30, didn't quite make the target and tumbled out of bed a half hour later, hair in complete disarray. three hours earlier i had finally managed to complete 600 words of my essay - the process of which included a frustrating seven or so hours, starting with three slices of dominatrix pizza. the original plan had been an all-nighter in the computer lab with a few other struggling comrades in the hope of finishing at eight in the morning. however, due to immense stomach pains following two cups of strong coffee, a mix of six fruits, the pizza and goodness knows what else, i surrendered to the cutting pains and limped my way home in the dark. thankfully i was not alone, but kirsty accompanied me as the walk home would probably have seen me imagining chavs around every corner waiting to pounce on me, and feed me to their viscious dogs. on the other hand it would have ended my torment over the essay. the thought had crossed my mind - eaten alive vs. failing.

it surely is the worst essay i have written over the course of two years. disappointment is piling up, staring at me, taking up too much space on the sofa next to me.

200 words left... what to write... what to write...

To Janie.

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 18:38:02 -0500

Dear Janie,
Reading your entry reminded me of how your creativity this summer has inspired me. Leaving the photo shoot last sunny Sunday afternoon it struck me that perhaps last year's overdose of procrastination was due to the lack of our conversations. Quite possibly.

Unfortunately this past week has been spent serving customers instead of enjoying the last weeks of summer. From 12-7pm I smile whilst my feet endure the pain of being squeezed into cheap New Look shoes.

Listening to Nina Simone brings back memories of watching Before Sunset. What if life could be like that. Upon traveling around in Europe you meet a person who after a day seems to know your every contour, every little corner hidden inside you. Nine years later and nothing has changed, there was an inevitible connection that first moment you met and somehow, fate has brought you together again. Fate. Hrmn, though I use it, I'm not sure I completely believe in it. Then again, meetings must carry some meaning, significance, more than just a coincidence?

Perhaps that's too much thinking for this time of the night..

Let me know how everything turned out with your planning of the WWF events!

Much love,
Emelie.

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 17:17:01 -0500

Mon, 04 Sep 2006 14:16:18 -0500

eesh, eesh, how could it all have been forgotten? abandoned, left to gather dust in the darkest corner and become a ghost only to suddenly be discovered by one person: jae-ni (aka. puttenutt). diaryland, our former little space to scribble, complain, talk about dying, how four months was only 1% of someone's life if dying by the time she turned 60. plenty more is stored in the land of our past lives.
after a year at uni i was convinced that i had changed into a different person. billiem was nothing but a mere shadow, or so i thought. reading entries that date back to 2003 i realise that i'm still worried about the same things: commitment problems, exercising more... its all there. except, the world has grown, even more complications. deciding what university to apply to seems a lifetime away. present thoughts are focused on next year: do i take a year off to work within fashion or a large company. yet again, planning for the future, growing up, turning into an adult.
surely we've all changed in some ways though, developed, matured, whichever. but what if in ten years we'll forget who we once were. "never forget your childhood innocence" - old friends help you remember. let's not become like the people in the book "momo" who try to save time but instead end up losing it for their hectic lives in turn becoming bleak shadows of their old cheery selves.

AND WHAT ABOUT BOB!?!?!?!

sweet sweden

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 13:17:14 -0500

almost two weeks have passed since i came back to sweden - ah, the joy of being at home! to occupy myself during the days i've taken full advantage of having a kitchen again. never has baking and cooking been such a thrill! once i spotted jamie oliver's new cook book on italian cuisine i immediately took hold of my mum's elbow to drag her over and exclaim "must buy, NOW!" yum yum...
que mas? finished pride and prejudice the book and watched half of the bbc series again, bbq by the lake 'til 2am, several outings into town, tea at my grandma's place etc.
being here has also made me think seriously about my relationship with mr french. perhaps i should dump my criticism and pickiness for openness and possibilities. by this i mean, give him a chance. it's not often you find someone who will surprise you at the airport, whisper french phrases to you during an intimite candlelit dinner... yes, that is what i will do, stop whining and let myself be enchanted.
ta ta for now dear friends.

future plans

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 05:28:13 -0500

it's the thursday the week before i leave for sweden - a proper holiday will commence and i plan to make the most of my free time. recently my head has been overloaded with ideas of what i can do in the summer and in my not-so-distant-future-as-an-adult. combining all of my interests into one single job may not be possible, thus i can't limit myself! seeing jen's exhibition yesterday made it clear to me that creativity will be essential - fashion too perhaps? overall it was very inspiring so once i get back home i plan to let my imagination run wild - sew a dress, paint, take photos, read books, do everything i otherwise don't have time for. gah, i can't wait!!

Sun, 14 May 2006 14:54:39 -0500

it's been a while, i agree it has. but everytime i take the time to sit down and attempt to write something about the events in my life, suddenly it seems as though there's nothing to write about. easter was filled mostly with studying, work and girly nights in watching satc and the oc whilst enjoying ice cream and a bottle of wine. last couple of days i went to visit nick in hamburg. had a brilliant time. was slightly nervous before, but it was all good in the end.
the past week and a bit ive been preoccupied with six exams and work. at times my head would spin out of present and lapse into "temporary shut down". at least now theyre over, and to celebrate, first cracked open a bottle of martini, sat on the quad for a bit. in the night it was time for the union. but last night was the proper celebration - whole night out in london. got back at 5 in the morning, complety knackered!! worked almost seven hours today so tonight ill be going to bed very early.
anyhoo... cant write too much now too sleepy!

capture

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 04:00:34 -0500

almost a week ago i arrived back in the uk feeling fresh with inspirationâ¦ despite the short stay it left me inspired and recharged. my first day in the house iâm living in at the moment was a disaster however. kathi and i had set out for a nice little jog in the morning, once back at the house we grabbed a bit to eat. seeing as the contents of my shelf in the fridge amounted to zero i joined kathi on a walk into the town centre. kathi left for work and i returned to the house. everything seemed fine until, to my horror, all the bedroom doors were open including mine, which i had locked before going out! but worst of all, the spot where i had left my laptop was now glaring up at me empty! at this point my heart was pumping so much blood around that i could hear it pounding in my head. soon the tears came. grabbed my phone and called my dad who had a hard time deciphering what it was i was trying to say. calm as he is, he told me not to worry and call the police. once i hung up i decided to go to the police station but when i get into the hallway iâm met by several electricians and the landlord! the landlord was not supposed to know that kathi and i were staying, so he was just as surprised as i was to see him. turns out he was the one who had taken my laptop for safekeeping so that the electricians wouldnât steal it. thank goodness. then another problem pops up - why am i there, with whose permission, who am i? for the following two days kathi and i had to convince the landlord that we were reliable people so that we wouldnât be kicked out. quite the drama.

all is fine now, no need to worry anymore thankfully. kathiâs left for a week in germany so iâm all alone. yay, lots of studying being done... meh, so bored. at least my mum's coming to visit me on saturday!!

hrmnnâ¦ oh yes, on the 26 april iâll be going to hamburg to visit nick for three days, yay!

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 15:18:20 -0600

things are looking up. had a date last night with a norwegian masters student!! fun fun! went shopping in london today. have no more lectures for this term, for this year i should say. have been working a lot (and eating too i should say... am planning to cut back on the midnight pizzas and snacking once and for all...).
saturday i go back home for ten days then go back here.
right thats a very cut down version of my life here, but ill fill you all in asap! must go sleep now.

a sneaky peek into the gruesome world

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 05:20:35 -0600

it took a peek at dn (swedish newspaper) online, and the news that milosevic is in fact dead, to realise that the world hasn't stopped because i stopped reading about it. once engrossed in the news a feeling of helplessness and misery settled over me. it's easy at uni to forget or even disregard the fact that not everyone has such an easy life out there. but then, should i not enjoy the safety and simplicity of life here? i'll have enough time to worry about the outside once i graduate. so i figured that instead of ignoring the daily events that don't revolve around uni, i will keep aware of them and read the papers every day.
right, that's settled. i'd like to invite you all into my heart so you could walk the corridors of my emotions and glance at the paintings of my inner thoughts. but somehow i can't over the internet. there is something that has been gnawing at my mind for a very very long time. is it love? is it a crush? i dont know, but lately i think i may be getting over it. oddly enough. hrmnn... we'll talk later.