silence.

your friend is too proud to ask you for help,
too proud to cry in front of other people's judging, pitying eyes,
too proud to admit that he's losing the strength to hold on.

what would you do?

ask anyway?  probe deeper if he denies it?  wait until he gets up the nerve to take off that mask?  give him a hug?

turn away.
pretend you didn't see it.

keep playing the part of the friend who keeps him company, who makes him laugh, who shares a few drinks with him when the night gets unbearably lonely..

let him cry himself to sleep every night.  he'll snap out of it eventually.

"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

bullshit.

i've never fully agreed with that sentiment.

some mistakes come with repercussions so grave that its life lessons, no matter how precious, end up lost and resented.

and you risk losing the very thing you were trying to protect in the first place.

yes, you learn.
but is it worth the loss?

it doesn't matter where you go or what you do
i wanna spend each moment of the day with you
look what has happened with just one kiss
i never knew that i could be in love like this
it's crazy but it's true
i only want to be with you

i need to know i can see you smile each morning
look into your eyes each night for the rest of my life
here with you, near with you
i need to be next to you
right here with you is right where i belong
i'll lose my mind if i can't see you
without you there is nothing in this life
that would make life worth living for
i can't bear the thought of you not there
i can't fight what i feel any more
cause i need to be next to you

every day’s a new day in love with you
with each day comes a new way of loving you
every time i kiss your lips my mind starts to wonder
and if all my dreams come true
i’ll be spending time with you
i love you more today than yesterday
but not as much as tomorrow

i wish i may, i wish you might
find some time when you sleep tonight
to think of me and i'll appear before your eyes
it's my paradise, your world
you're my heart, my life, my girl
can't wait to go to sleep
cause there's a possibility, you'll meet me
i know i can't be there
baby it's alright
i'll be waiting for you tonight
i pray that you'll be there
when i close my eyes
meet me in my dreams tonight

  not driving to a practically deserted beach..

sitting on the sand and basking in the sun while the waves lapped at our feet..

stars? check.
waves? check.
my non-beachboy beside me? stupidsmile.

i forgot about everything..

and just completely enjoyed the qualitym.

best of all, i got my no tv, no dvd, no psp/ps2/xbox, no friends day.

just us.  no worries. 

i could certainly get used to this.  hehe.

  i loved it.  and i love you.  best beach trip ever.  thanks hun. 

we'll respect your decision.  it's all up to you.
but here's what i think you should do.

ewan.

for a moment there i forgot how to breathe.

i wish i could drive off to some gorgeous [practically deserted] beach..

and lie there on the sand..

and lose myself into the stars and the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore and the feel of the fine sand beneath my feet..

and forget about everything..

and just completely enjoy the alone time.

i would, too, if only my überprotective/paranoid parents wouldn't go berserk worrying about where i am and what's happened to me.. and if only i wouldn't get lost, which i most definitely would because i'm the second dumbest person i know when it comes to directions [my tita takes first place because she couldn't even find her own house!].

starLightstarbright
firststariseetonight
iwishimayiwishimight
havethewishiwishtonight

just me.  no thoughts.  no worries.

i very strongly dislike you and every friggin thing about you..

i detest how stubborn you are with your not-so-bright ideas.
i'm not the smartest girl in the world -- far from it -- but come on!!  are you for real?!  do you even hear yourself??  at least i know when i don't know shit.  no one gets you, man!

i find your horrible english -- both written and verbal -- insufferable.
i'm not the best in english, but i'm good enough to know that you really suck!!  i'm getting tired of cringing everytime you open your [straight from the horse’s] mouth to say something.

oh and let me tell you something missy, you are not cool.  in fact, you are one of the biggest losers i've ever met.  so quit it with your delusions of grandeur.  seriously.

i suppose these might be some of the meanest things i've ever said about anyone, and i might even regret it if i get to know you better, but right now you're bringing out the best in me.  so give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done!  make it a brutal one, though.

well i guess that's it.  i'm not mad so this post isn't raging.. i'm mostly just repulsed by you.  so go dust off your hooves and gallop into the sunset.  and if you could take your dreadful personality with you, i'd be way grateful.

i think i'll just stuff my face now with chocolate cake, mint chocolate, tobLerone, kitkat.. and maybe, hopefully, go to bed early. i was walking around in a daze all day.

haaayy..

i wish they'd put up a max brenner in atc.