It is written--

500 Days of Summer

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:13:56 +0000

this is the greatest movie ever made..

I'm BI, So What?!

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 06:50:16 +0000

I saw A with someone yesterday. Her ex(who's been my ex), my ex, and a friend of my "exes" saw her too. Yes, we're all girls on that table looking on the other table where A and "that" girl is busy making some disgusting sweety-sweety effect. Of course I'm hurt. A's ex(who's been my ex) texted me, "mas affected ka pa sakin ah.". That moment, I realized, how affected I am of that bullshit they're doing.. in front of us, in front of A's ex, and in front of me, having her to know what i feel for her. It almost killed me seeing them like that. "nagsusubuan pa." sabi ni ex ko, sitting beside me. I couldn't stand it. Dagdag pa yung pang-aasar nila na iiyak nq. My "exes" friend didn't know the real story behind A, A's ex(who's been my ex), and me. It's like love square of four girls. What the hell..

This day, I came to realize many things. Lalo sa school, lantaran na ang man to man, woman to woman relationships. I'm one of those before, when A's ex and me were together. Almost everyone at school knew about us. I didn't care and I wouldn't care what other people would say, as long as wala akong natatapakan. I have two ex-boyfriends and two ex-girlfriends. And now, I have fallen for A. Nakakainis, gusto kong lumagay sa tama.. pero di ko magawa.

I fall for boys, pero in a short time lang. Say one week? Then after that, ayoko na sa kanila. I fall for girls, at yun pinakamahirap.. I can't easily move on. Like my first girlfriend(as what they name it), it's been 4 years, I think, when I finally realized were over.

And then there comes A, the one person I never had but made me feel this way. :l

I'm Hurting.. :l

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:14:31 +0000

should i blame LOVE for making me think about that person everyday?

or should i blame that person for making me feel this way?

So This Is Goodbye

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:49:00 +0000

I said goodbye, hoping you would stop me...

but you didn't.. :(

3 In The Morning

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:49:58 +0000

Thinking of how to get rid of you. It sucks seeing you around just like that, with a smile on that beautiful face. It hurts knowing you're with her.. it hurts even more pretending how happy I am for you. It kills me inside. Deep inside. And then I die.

So This Is Like Dying..

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 23:17:25 +0000

It’s not like love at first sight, really. It’s more like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that’s a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother.
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 8, p.176

I Love You Anel.. :(

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 22:53:41 +0000

i love you and i will tell you everyday.

everyday until you forget the things that hurt.

i hate the things that make you hurt and how i wish i could take them away.

if only it could be done, i'll do it for sure..--one more chance

Damn You.

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 09:43:00 +0000

Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow is a mystery.

And today is a gift--

that's why it is called PRESENT.

You helped me forget my sad story, yet you started another one! HAHA..

Hay, i'm getting confused. I love you.. that it hurts like HELL.

Should i let go? :(

Happy Yet Sad

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 13:06:32 +0000

Very busy.

I found new love. Hate it.

Ikaw Boss Eh

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 14:37:17 +0000

So, I finally decided to post a picture of me. Haha, sana wala makakilala sa akin. Gosh, yari ako nito pag nagkataon. Buti na lang, di ko nabigay kay ex itong site na ito. Haha, yun pa naman, once na mag-ask sakin, wala na akong palag. Ewan ko ba, bakit s'ya may capacity na i-control ako. Para bang sa kanya na 'tong katawan ko. Di ko na mapasunod sa gusto ko, kung ano gusto n'ya, kung anu ORDERS nya.. yun yung mangyayare. No second thoughts, expected na kung ano decision n'ya yun din akin.

Haaaay, sana hindi ko na lang nakita. Bwiset, magkakandaleche-leche na naman ako nito. Ayoko s'ya makita.. T_T Naaasar ako, bakit ganun s'ya? Masyado s'yang sabik sa iba, masyado s'yang atat na hindi mo maintindihan. Kung bakit pa kasi viniew ko s'ya sa friendster. Ayan tuloy, nakita ko na naman kalandian ng hinayupak na yun. Ang landi landi, nakakabwiset. Biglang featured friend n'ya na yung kakakilala lang n'ya. Oo nga naman, I should not expect sa mga bagay bagay.

"Anung gusto mo? Ikaw i-featured ko??" Haha, baka ito pa marinig ko sa kanya.

O baka mas malupet nyang banat: "Bakit ka ba nangingialam? ANU BA KITA?" Sakit di ba? Feeling kasi nung ugok na yun, manhid ako sa mga banat n'ya.

Hay, naaasar talaga ako. Ayoko na mafeel 'to. Hindi na tama na lagi akong nasasaktan every time na may bago s'ya. Gustong gusto ko na makalimutan lahat lahat. Kaso nga lang, paano kung sa kanya ko nakasandal, paano kung nasanay na ako na lagi s'yang nandyan, paano kung 'di ko kaya pag wala na s'ya. Parang there's no me without you. Ano yun? Para akong nawala, hindi na ako mag-eexist kung wala s'ya? Ganun ba? Bakit ba kasi ang hirap hirap n'ya kalimutan.

Before ako matulog, lagi na akong nagdadasal. Di tulad dati.Nung una, pray ako pra s'ya bumalik sakin. Yung tipong nagmamakaawa na'ko kay Bro. Walang effect, badtrip. Kaya ngayon, ang pinagdadasal ko na lang, eh ang mawala itong lintek na nararamdaman ko sa kanya. Na sana, mahulog na'ko sa iba. Pero di ko talaga ma-imagine buhay ko kung wala s'ya. Sana dumating yung araw, na marealize n'ya at makita n'ya lahat ng ginagawa ko. Lahat ng effort ko. O kaya sana naman, dumating na yung mamahalin ako tulad ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya, o higit pa. Kung sana lang, natuturuan ang puso..

Haaay, andrama ko na naman. Mukang may inuman na naman bukas. Hehehe..