a. so inane that that they become interesting for their sheer inanity

b. so unapologetically shameless that they make me cringe on behalf of the blogwriter

c. so unbelievably righteous that I get such an adrenalin rush reading them

    Given that the readership of this blog is practically nil, I suppose I can post some links to the blogs that I love to hate reading, but then, it would make me a pretty downright vicious bastard, wouldn't it? Well, to be honest, I AM a pretty downright vicious bastard, but there's not much point in emphasising the fact, is there?

Ah, shit. Nothing seems worrisome --- except a little bit of guilt associated with accidentally killing a spider at the tuition centre yesterday --- but I'm feeling pensive somehow. Fuck, I feel like a fuckin teenager! This whole feeling about being pensive occurred to me when I was sitting in the can smoking a cigarette. Maybe I haven't had enough holiday yet. Fuckin my precious two-week sabbatical was inadvertently cut short somehow, somehow. I just wanna wake up at whatever time I want to and then go with the flow and do whatever the fuck I want, without having to be a slave to SCHEDULE. (if you're reading this, Sarah, please don't tell the Yapster about this)

    But classes have started, and they all seem to be going darn smoothly, and I say this without a trace of sarcasm. I think I'm gonna post more sky pics later.

I received a call from Josh this morning. Josh and I studied at the same university when we were in Toronto. Well, he called and asked me about the proper term for the withdrawal method, which is coitus interruptus. I said, you called me all the way from Singapore just to ask me this? He said, well, it's one of the reasons anyway. He told me that he was hanging out a friend's place with a few gay guys and a coupla girls, and they got round to talking about how a person becomes homosexual, the whole nature vs nurture debate thing, which we've all prolly heard one too many times. Presmasticated stuff, as it was and as it is. God knows why someone becomes gay or lesbian, or bisexual or bi-curious. Anyway he told me that somehow he has lost the ability to love, which caught me by surprise. After all, I was still lying in bed and hardly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I asked him what he meant and he said that somehow, he realised that he has lost the ability to keep a relationship going. The last time I spoke to him was a coupla months back, when he finally decided to return to Singapore. I left Toronto in 2000, and we've kinda lost touch until he found me (again) on Friendster. 

    Anyway, the last time we spoke he told me he had a girfriend from Guangzhou, and it seemed like things were going pretty well. He didn't get into the details of the breakup, but I guess distance and geography are factors. Then I asked him if he considered getting into a gay relationship, and he said that he loves women too much to ever love a man, which he claims was something I said to him many years back. Frankly I don't remember. What I do remember was that there was a time when we were both single, and we were hanging out with each other so much and so happily that we considered, albeit very briefly, the possibility of us being in a gay relationship. We were drunk on Wong Kar-Wai's Happy Together back then, and we adored the characters Lai Yiu-Fai and Ho Po-Wing. Not that we're keen about being gay --- we're not even homosexual to begin with --- but we never had the chance because very soon, both of us found a girlfriend each, and that was it.

    I'm aware that there are men out there who live, cohabit with other men not because they're gay, but because they find it a lot easier that cohabitating with a woman. While they sleep together and engage in the occasional sex play, what their male bodies truly crave for are women. In fact, some of them don't even have sex, anal sex that is. So what gives? Are these men gay? Bi-sexual? Labels can never undo the fact that we are surrounded by vastly different types and shades of preferences.

    Strange, but I didn't begin writing this post with the intention of writing about sexual preferences. What I wanted to elucidate is the fact that whenever I get a phone call from Josh, I always get a glimpse of the possibility of having an absolutely yuppie lifestyle in Singapore. You know, livin' it up like all the characters in a Carlsberg ad. Whenever I see the ads, I fantasise and imagine for a few moments, the possibilities which are as opposed to this life that I'm living in Ipoh right now. Please don't get me wrong though, fantasising and imagining is not an indication of my dissatisfaction with my present lifestyle. It's just that sometimes it's nice to just wonder, "What if..."

    Many people have asked me why is it that a person of my background would want to stay behind in this backward city. Well somehow I always manage to provide them with a satisfactory answer, but deep down, sometimes I wonder why myself. But after all's been said, it's still not too late. I have two choices come 2007. Singapore, or Beijing.

    Meanwhile, the beat goes on.  

I swear to God that mosquitoes are waging an all-out war against us. I made my first kill today, and it was a clean kill too. While it looked unconscious, it didn't look dead. So I clipped its wings just to make sure. A wingless mosquito is a dead mosquito. But check out the legs, they're absolutely supermodel.

It's supposed to be Halloween Eve tonight, but this is Malaysia, and so it's Deepavali Eve instead. The classes at the tuition centre are officially over for the term, but I've still got two more weeks of SPM classes for the true believers. (Ha!)

    Tomorrow I'm gonna visit an old classmate, Thayalan, whom I haven't seen for like, God knows how many years.  A mutual friend said that he looks like Craig David now, so I gotta verify this with my own world-wearied eyes. Thayalan, as far as I can remember him, was this pudgy guy who always had the band of his underwear pulled upwards (hence, wedgied) during PE lessons.

    The streets outside are a wet mess, and it just gets better with sporadic explosions of firerackers that always catch you at the right moments.